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-   -   The Spot for the Laugh (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/showthread.php?t=71515)

Trinitydoll 10-13-2007 12:50 PM
The Spot for the Laugh
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sizzla
Guys, jokes need to be quoted, as basically you're just posting them to earn gold and it is considered plagiarism without the quotes.

If you made up the joke yourself, you can leave it, but otherwise they need to be in quotes.

I am going back and quoting all of these jokes and putting a disclaimer in the first post. Anyone after this post needs to quote their jokes.

Those who didn't post in quotes originally will lose the gold they earned from posting them.

Hello everyone
I love to read and tell jokes so why dont you tell me your bests? hehehe please keep it under 13 and dont post nasty things like the kind of "how do you know if you are at a gay's party" ok?
Well here is one :

Quote:
Hello, and welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional...
xD

Superalim 10-13-2007 12:57 PM
Ok here is one..
Quote:
There are 3 guys in heaven. Someone tells the gatekeeper that heaven is getting full, so they can only accept people who died horrible deaths.

The first guy comes up.
Gate Keeper: So how did you die?
Man: Well, I had suspected my wife was cheating on me for some time. One day I get home to my 15 story apartment from my job and I see my wife half naked. I just know that the guy was around, so I searched everywhere. I finally found him hanging from the balcony. I started stepping on his fingers but he wouldnt fall. So I grabbed a hammer and smashed his hands, which he fell. Unfortunatly, he fell in some bushes and was only stunned, so I grabbed the refrigerator and threw that on him. After a few seconds, I had a heart attack from stress and died.
Gate Keeper: Ok, go on in.

The second guy walks up to the gatekeeper.
Gate Keeper: So how did you die?
Man: Well, I was doing my daily stretches on my 16th floor apartment. I started useing the railing on the balcony, but accidentally slipped. I grabbed on to the 15th floor balcony, hoping someone would come help soon. I finally see a man and think im going to be saved, but the lunatic starts kicking my hands! I hold on for dear life, then he leaves and comes back with a hammer. Well of course I fall, but I landed in some bushes stunned, thankful for my life, when all of a sudden, I see a refrigerator falling, now im here.
Gate Keeper: Ok, go on in.

The thrid person walks up to the gatkeeper.
Gate Keeper: So how did you die?
Man: Picture this. Im naked in a refrigerator....

Trinitydoll 10-13-2007 01:09 PM
hahahhahahahhah xD
I liked it
now read:
Quote:
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but the light bulb has to WANT to change.

----
Three blind mice walk into a bar but they're unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.
---
~ Why are elephants large, grey, and wrinkly?

Because if they were small, white and smooth they would be an aspirin!

~ What does a dyslexic agnostic insomniac do?

He stays up all night, wondering if there is a dog xD
(Meaning: dyslexics do not have the ability to write well, agnostics wonder
about the workld, if there is a god, and insomniacs are those who stay up
during the night, not able to sleep)

[[ Pink Acid ]] 10-13-2007 01:19 PM
Heres one:

Quote:
A Blonde had brought a new red convertible and was driving down the highway when she suddenly cut off a truck driver.

The truck driver drove behind her tooting and signalling for her to pull over. So the Blonde finally decided she will pull over and see what he wants.

The truck driver got out and told her to get out of her car too. She did. He then drew a circle around where she was standing and told her to stay put and not move out of the circle. she did as she was told.

The Truck driver returned to his truck and produced a baseball bat. He started to smash the Blonde's car. untill he heard giggling. He turned to look at the blonde but she was still standing there in the circle. He continued with the smashing.

The giggling kept repeating and he started to ask the blonde what was funny. To which she replied "nothing".

The truck driver heard her giggle again and this was the last straw. he turned around and screeched "WHAT!?" to which she replied "everytime you werent looking, i took a step out of the circle"
HAHAHA!

Quote:
A kid was sitting on his lawn with a box of puppies one morning. George Bush was on his morning run, accompanied by some Secret Service workers. Dubya asked the boy what kind of puppies were in the box.
The little boy said, "Republicans."

The President beamed, patted the boy on the head, and said, "Atta boy!"

A few weeks later Bush was jogging again, this time with Dick Cheney in tow. Bush stopped at the boy's house, winked at Dick and said, "Hey kid, what kind of pupies are in the box?"

The boy said, "Democracts"

Bush looked crushed, saying, "What happened? A few weeks ago they were Republicans!"

The boy said, "Well, the puppies opened their eyes."

Trinitydoll 10-13-2007 01:24 PM
Pink Acid double post is strictly forbidden in the comunity, please dont do it, you need to wait for someone else to post before you post again ok? otherwise a mod will take out your gold.

[[ Pink Acid ]] 10-13-2007 01:26 PM
Sorry I didnt know. I only started yesturday. and before you say to read the rules i already have lol.

Trinitydoll 10-13-2007 01:33 PM
It's ok np I was just letting you know =)
Here is a good joke:
If you pull the wings off of a fly, does it become a walk?
xD

[[ Pink Acid ]] 10-13-2007 01:45 PM
Lol that is a good one :3

Hmm how bout this one:
Quote:
Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim 26"
Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"

Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.

The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim 26"

Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!"

Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.

By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim 26"

And the blonde yells, "FIRE!!!"

Trinitydoll 10-13-2007 01:49 PM
hhahahhahahahhahahahahah xD oh my that was good !!! ahhaahha blonde moment
Quote:
President Clinton is out jogging, and he encounters a man with some puppies. Clinton asks the man what kind of puppies they are, and the man responds, "They're Democrat puppies, Mr. President." Clinton thinks that is so great that the next day he brings the first lady to see these puppies for herself. He asks the man to tell Hillary what kind of puppies they are, and the man responds, "They're Republican puppies." The president looks puzzled and says, "Yesterday, you told me they were Democrat puppies." The man smiles and says, "Yesterday, they were. But today, they have their eyes open!"

[[ Pink Acid ]] 10-13-2007 01:54 PM
I posted that bush one before :D

I love Blonde jokes so i weill probably be posting heaps of them lol.

Quote:
A man was mowing his lawn when he heard his neighbor, who happened to be a blonde, come out of her house. She opened her mailbox, looked inside and slammed it shut. She stomped her foot and went back inside. The man thought ''how weird.''
A few minutes passed and sure enough, the blonde came out of her house again, checked her mail box, stamped her foot and went back inside. The man stopped mowing and checked her mailbox to see what was so wrong with it. After seeing nothing, he went back to mowing just shrugging his shoulders.

As soon as he heard her coming out again, he shut off his mowing machine and went up to her. ''What in the world are you doing, coming out here every five minutes?''

The blonde looked up at the man and said, ''Well, you see, there's this little voice in my house that keeps on saying, 'You've got mail,' but when I come out here to check, I don't have any.''

Trinitydoll 10-13-2007 01:56 PM
Awww you are rigth jesus I didnt see that one I read teh blonde's one

[[ Pink Acid ]] 10-13-2007 02:04 PM
Lol nah thats alright :D

Is it me or did the background just go blue from white??

Quote:
Two eggs are in a frying pan and one says 1CMan it 19s hot in here. 1D The other one says 1CHoly sh*t a talking egg! 1D

OBSCENE 10-13-2007 02:05 PM
All of these jokes have failed to make me laugh in any way.

[[ Pink Acid ]] 10-13-2007 02:10 PM
Obscene: Thats sad to hear. Then why dont you post a joke that makes YOU laugh?

Trinitydoll 10-13-2007 02:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by [[ Pink Acid
]]Lol nah thats alright :D

Is it me or did the background just go blue from white??

Two eggs are in a frying pan and one says 1CMan it 19s hot in here. 1D The other one says 1CHoly sh*t a talking egg! 1D
hahahahhahahha
@Obscene sorry but dont be rude ok? we do our best and some of those made me laugh

Quote:
Your dog's barking at the back door. Your wife's barking at the front. Who do you let in? Well, it's your call... but the dog'll stop barking when you let him in.
this is a good one XD

Clickmyname 10-13-2007 02:59 PM
Quote:
A doctor at a college campus is giving free physicalls for one week only. Early in the week a girl comes into his office, and the doctor asks her to remove her shirt. The girl proceeds and the doctor immiedietly notices the girl has a large A in the middle of her chest. The doctor asks how did you get that A on your chest. The girl responds by saying that her boyfriend goes to the univeristy of Alabama and when we make love he likes to keep his lettermans jacket on. The doctor finds this rather strange, but just shrugs it off. A little later that week he sees another girl and when she removed her shirt the doctor noticed a large I in her chest. The doctor asks how did you get that I in your chest. The girl tells the doctor that her boyfriend goes to the university of Iowa and when we have sex he likes to keep his lettermans jacket on. The doctor than begins to wonder if all college students keep their lettermans jacket on during intercourse. Even later that week another young women comes in and removes her shirt. Sure enought there is a large W carved into the womens chest. The doctor quickly asks, let me guess your boy friend goes to Wisconsin, the girl replies no, my girlfriend goes to Minnesota.

Sizzla 10-13-2007 03:18 PM
Guys, jokes need to be quoted, as basically you're just posting them to earn gold and it is considered plagiarism without the quotes.

If you made up the joke yourself, you can leave it, but otherwise they need to be in quotes.

I am going back and quoting all of these jokes and putting a disclaimer in the first post. Anyone after this post needs to quote their jokes.

Those who didn't post in quotes originally will lose the gold they earned from posting them.

Revvi 10-13-2007 03:24 PM
I used to make up jokes all the time, but I've forgotten every one of them! Well, actually I remember a fewl, but they aren't appropriate. The ones here are funny, though. I laughed at a few. xD


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