I recently got dumped on valentines day, not a big deal its happened to me before, but after he broke up with me I realized, I wasn't that in love with him anyway, he was...in a word...obedient. He had no mind of his own and agreed with everything I wanted to do, but somehow I ended up getting dumped.

So what I'm asking is, what kind of person would you feel was right for you based on your dominant traits; Ill start (duh)

I prefer a guy who is going to give me a challenge, something that turns the relationship into a competition. I don't like obedient cute guys who are willing to jump for you at the drop of a hat, there is nothing interesting about that to me. I like a guy who is set in his views and doesn't bend easily, but at the same time, I know he loves me for who I am and *cough* not what I have.

Dom traits: Stubborn, Sadist, Sarcasm (not based off of me, but what others have told me)

sorry to hear that but hey maybe it was for the good =)
mm your topic is interesting.
I'm a dragon in the Chinese horoscope and I´m totally dominant but in a way I am a very lady like girl and girlish so I also like being dominated sometimes n_n;; though in the end I wouldnt like someone that only takes his own decitions into account and manages everything his own way.
I am a very organized pseudo obsesive person hehe and I like things to go the right way (nif Im dominant yes but it is for good i swear!!!) but well my hubby and I get along well cause he likes letting me in charge cause he trusts me and knows things will go straight but then intimately he takes the dominant part and takes care of me and makes me feel protected n_n yay yay we are happy <3

Over the years I realized that if I wanted a good relationship, I would have to be the one to tell the guy I liked him. Because I realized that if almost any guy came up and told me they liked me, I would go out with them. Not because I liked them, but just because I was desperate for a boyfriend, sadly enough.

I didn't have many crushed when I was in high school, which I didn't understand at the time. Now I know it was because my high school was full of jocks, surfers, and rednecks. And I like glasses-wearing, anime-watching, video game-playing, intelligent nerds/geeks.

I kinda found someone like that in high school. I never told him I had a crush on him, but he was able to figure it out, so I guess you could say he was the 1st guy I told I liked, and he gave me a surprise kiss. No warning at all. After thinking about it for a few hours afterwards, I realized that I didn't have a crush on him. And he was a horrible kisser xP

But the 2nd guy I told that I liked was the right guy that time! We met on Gaia almost 2 years ago and we've been going out for over a year. Even before I knew what he looked like or specific stuff about him, I told him that I liked him. It was odd because I always had a bit of a crush on him even when I first met him, and that's something I would never considering it over the internet. But it turned out to be the right choice. He has every quality I like in a guy (basic boyfriend needs like honesty, understanding, compassion, and all the geeky traits I love), we have a bunch of the same interests (we both like simliar movies, we have similar hobbies, etc), we're both that gross lovey-dovey pair that are just head over heels in love with each other...and we haven't even met in RL yet! But that doesn't matter. We know we'll see each other soon. It'll be worth it to be patient and we both can wait.

Wow that is awful, I am sorry to hear you had such a bad Valentines. Though puppy types are not all that great, like you said.


I have a rather passive personality, but I am also a little cruel. I need someone who can take a few punches (figuratively of course I would never actually hit someone) and who can give a few, but also know when to back off. I am not always honest with my feelings, and I do not always want to talk about them so the person who is with me should know when not to ask. I am not very touchy feely and I do not like extreme public displays of affection (like making out on the side walk, no one wants to see that so just get a room already!) so neither should they be.

I need someone who is responsible, who will take care of me when I need it, and who will let me take care of them when they need it. They should be organized, but not completely O.C.D. They should be a plan maker, and a goal setter. I am a Taurus so when I play I play completely, and that can make me look lazy. Hell I am a little lazy! But, when I get to work I work until the job is done, and they should know that and afford me a little trust.

I am loyal, I do not even like to flirt with another person if I am with someone, and I expect the same of my partner. If they have a dream I will support them in it. Just being acknowledged by someone, just being with someone, makes me so happy, and I want them to be happy as well. I will give everything I have to that person; I am a penguin, I mate for life, and if that scares anyone then I won’t even give them a chance. I am rather extreme, so my partner should be just as extreme.

Or something like that. ^__^;;;

I like someone who is honest about their opinions, but doesn't try to force them on me if I don't agree.

Someone who respects me and cares for me.

Someone who is confident about themselves and confident about me.

Someone who shares my sense of humor/interests and makes life interesting.

I have pretty high standards :oops:

I would just like to have a man who cares about things that bother me instead of a husband who figures if it doesn't bother him, it shouldn't bother me. I want a man who doesn't feel that he shouldn't have to help around the house because he has a penis. I want a man who doesn't think that when he's around, I should do nothing but pay attention to him, unless of course he's mad at me and then he won't speak to me or the kids. I want a man who doesn't feel that my daughter should stay home, not have a life of her own (she's 16) and babysit the other child that we brought into this world without pay. In a nut shell, I want a man who has a little sensitivity and acts like I matter more than his buddies at work or his father.

You sound just like me, Xera Oni. :P

I had my last boy whipped. He liked me way more than I liked him, and it was boring. It's no fun when he goes along with everything you say. :?

The guy I currently like is assertive, and he'll call me out on being an ass. xD He's not clingy or molding his personality to match mine. I also like that my looks aren't everything to him. I get sick of people liking me and hitting on me when they don't even know me. This guy is actually interested in who I am and what goes on in my life. :o

(prepare for a slight mushy ramble that is slightly on topic....)
I think I have recently found a guy who works really well for me.
He’s really confident, very forward, very smart and a very caring guy. He stands up for himself and we both agree as far as disagreements go. If either of us disagrees about something we talk it out and just agree to disagree. We’ve been together nearly 6 months and haven’t had one argument over anything…..normally by 3 months I can pick out a million problems with a relationship and get unhappy and passively aggressive destroy the whole thing.
However he just makes me so happy, I pretty much live with him and we have a great physical and emotional relationship. For years I was always afraid to disagree with someone or let someone down or anything like that but now-I know he cares about me just as I am and I’m not afraid to admit that I don’t know something or that I need help from time to time. He’s even let me like me for me-this has never happened for me before and I’m just so happy to have him in my life! <3<3<3
However we are splitting due to him moving for work for a short time but I hope we both still have these feelings when he comes back cause this is the strongest connection I have ever felt with someone else.

My ex ignored me for video games all the time, always would say things like “youd look better with more makeup� or “why can’t you just do your hair nice?� and stuff like that :S and pretty much just wanted sex….but he was a major rebound and I needed to feel loved and crap like that so…..ya >_<;;

My heart has never soared more then when my current guy looks me in the eyes (he has beautiful and very compassionate eyes) and says that I’m beautiful. Especially since he doesn’t abuse it-he will always call me cutie or pretty girl or something along those lines (with an occasional sexy) so it really means a lot to get a sincere sweet complement.

Only females have answered so far, it seems.. *peeks around* =O


Personally, I'm not sure... :D

Most definitely, though, someone who I can poke fun at and someone who would poke fun at me a lot would be nice. 'Teasing,' I guess, but not like.. all of the time. I have my moods. >.>
Like a lot of the people who responded, I don't want someone who just does everything that I say or follows everything I do. I need my space sometimes, too, so I don't want that 'puppy' person who has to know everything. @[email protected]
Someone, male or female, that has lots of their own opinion would be good. Well, as long as their opinions don't scare me or something. Some opinions I find good, some not. >.< *nevermind*

I'm not even sure what I just said. Does that make sense?

Oh, and someone who has an active personality. Boring people are.. uninteresting? Interesting relationships are, duh, the best. :P

I like exactly what my husband has. He's stubborn and is willing to challenge me. He actually argues with me, which I like as long as it's not something major, then it becomes a problem. I also like the fact that he doesn't always let me tell him what to do, which I can't stand if anyone just lays down and takes my orders because it gets old really fast in a relationship.

I also like the fact that he's not too serious about what I say when he knows I'm joking with him. I can poke fun at him and he does the same with me and we just laugh about it. He also knows when to listen to me and take me seriously though. He's also comfortable with his body, which is nice since I found that some people, both guys and girls, aren't and complain about the stupidest things.

Kiwi-sounds like what my guy is like too XD;;
when he came into my work no one thought he was my boyfriend, everyone thought he was someone I didn't like because of how much we poke, jab and insult each other but we know when its fun and when and what is not to be joked about. :3
And I was a huge push over before my current boy, he then one day sat me down and told me he wanted me to challenge myself and him and to make my own choices and from that day on I have been opinionated and stubborn as ever x_o; he created a monster! I do know when to back down thou, and that’s a good thing.

I want someone who I would be able to see as not only a romantic interest, but also a friend. That way, even if things go wrong on the romantic side of things...we can still be friends. Nothing wrong with that, not to mention that if things were really working up until a certain incident, there's a good chance we could end up back together.

I want someone who is competitive, but not to the extent where they're willing to hurt someone they care about. I don't want someone who will fall all over him/herself for me, that's just stupid. I want someone I can compete with; someone who will motivate me, and I'll do the same thing for him/her.

I want someone who can joke with me, and do silly things with me; I'd love it if we could make each other laugh at ourselves. In order for that to be possible, though, we'd have to have pretty similar senses of humor...so that's pretty important. So is knowing when to stop...and when just isn't a good time for jokes. I think everyone has those times...and that always needs to be respected.

I want someone I can see as respectable. Someone who works hard, but that isn't ALL they ever think about. Someone who is mature...but can still be childlike and fun at times. Balance is a critical thing here.

And of course...I want someone who I can tell trusts me just as much as I trust him/her. Sure, being mysterious is attractive in my eyes...but I don't want someone who is such a mystery that I feel like I don't know them. >.<; I don't mind a few things always staying a mystery, sometimes that's even FUN...but I don't want someone pretty much hiding all of who they are from me. I can keep secrets, and if they DO get out, I'm pretty good at lying my ass off to cover them up. XD

So yeah...that's pretty much what's most important.

Before I started dating my boyfriend, I thought I wanted all these things. A certain body type, a man who could make me laugh, etc.

But right now I am dating my best friend. This hasn't been anything like I've ever had before; there is such a closeness but .. ugh it's hard to describe. In a lot of ways, he isn't my ideal but he is just how I want him to be.

Anyway, I think I'm gushing. I just want to say that what you want and what makes you happy may not be the same. XD <3

Um, should I do only personality wise? XD

I want someone who is intelligent. No, not necessarily a nerd but someone who knows how to converse. I like him to be funny and knows how to cheer me up but also knows when to be serious. I would want someone with respect and at least be responsible. I really don't want to be around a guy that doesn't even do his homework because he is "too cool" for that because I want them with a brain and know that education matters. I would also like him to be honest most of the time (because we all lie) and if he does want to break up with me, do it in an appropriate manner. I don't want to get dumped on MSN man.

Okay, I think that covers the personality part.

Now, I would adore an Asian bishie. *0*o With awesome hair and a very sexy voice! Not to mention have a nice ab and is healthy. I want him at least 5'7 since I am already 5'8. Yes, me likie... >w>

The guy I think who is right for me right
now is a sinor. We have gone out before
but broke up mainly because I was a little
to nervous at the time to go out with anyone
really (since I never really dated before).
Anyways he is sweet and kind. He makes me
laugh, but still he is a guy and has a
little of a preverted mind lol. Like today
after school he grabbed my boob. But thats
another story. (I found out my friend had
dared him too lol) Anyways yah I really think
he is the one for me.
But my main ideal guy is someone who is really
funny. Like I want a guy who can really make me
laugh and help me get through the rough times
and make me smile. He also cant be shorter than me Im sorry but guys who are shorter than me is just wierd since Im really short. lol. Also he hast to be really kind and listen to what I have to say and of course not to spend money on me. lol.

The girl I think is right for me would be one that would cherish and care for me no matter what, in sickness or if I loose an arm. Just a girl that is difficult in a good way.

The guy who I think is right for me is that kind of guy who actually makes me laugh when no one else can make me smile.He also has to be that kind of guy who really needs me in his life and without me he will have nothing. I kind of want that guy who doesn't like me for my looks but for who I really am! He also has to be that guy who helps me every step of the way.... and maybe that guy who helps me with my homework??? :oops:

I've long since figured out that there is not "right" type of person for me and certainly not one "right" person for me either. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband dearly and wouldn't give him up for anything, but just because he and I work doesn't mean he's the right one. There are plenty of people out there who would work for me and with me who I'd be good for too and though some would disagree, I don't believe that admitting that or even acting on it, lessens what my husband and I have.
He and I both agreed, before we even were married to live a polyamorous lifestyle. We are both free (within reason of course) to see other people as well and might even eventually have other lovers living with us in something resembling polygamy. As far as I've seen, there is no such thing as a perfect couple or match. No one person can fulfill all of another person's needs (otherwise we'd not need friends, family, etc...) and so once we accepted that we weren't going to be able to be everything for each other, it was a lot easier to accept that someone else could fill those roles. The best example I can give of this is that he and I are both bisexual and as much as I will insist on gender equality, even I have to admit, there are some things I can get from a relationship with a woman that no man has ever been able to give and vice versa.
So, yeah... *steps off soap box* trying to find one person who will fit all the criteria on a checklist of "what I need in a partner" is probably going to result in either being lonely or trying to fit a person into a mold that isn't them. Of course, this lifestyle isn't for everyone and I'm not saying it's better either. Just saying that these kind of expectations of the "right one" are unrealistic.

Originally Posted by Xera Oni

I recently got dumped on valentines day, not a big deal its happened to me before, but after he broke up with me I realized, I wasn't that in love with him anyway, he was...in a word...obedient. He had no mind of his own and agreed with everything I wanted to do, but somehow I ended up getting dumped.

So what I'm asking is, what kind of person would you feel was right for you based on your dominant traits; Ill start (duh)

I prefer a guy who is going to give me a challenge, something that turns the relationship into a competition. I don't like obedient cute guys who are willing to jump for you at the drop of a hat, there is nothing interesting about that to me. I like a guy who is set in his views and doesn't bend easily, but at the same time, I know he loves me for who I am and *cough* not what I have.

Dom traits: Stubborn, Sadist, Sarcasm (not based off of me, but what others have told me)

I'm sorry about your break up.


I broke up with someone I going out with a couple of days before valentine day, because I think he doesn't need a girlfriend, more like he only wants a doll who look nice, who will smile and agreeing to his selfish demands, the type of submissive trophy girl that he can shows to his friends and family...It was grossing me out so I decided to broke up with him.

My ideal boyfriend...I don't care if he's submissive or aggressive...but I will like it better if he really like and appreciate me as much as I feel to him.

I'm obsessively organized, but I somehow ended up marrying a packrat slob. It drives me crazy sometimes, especially since he never knows where anything is when he needs it, and he rarely remembers to pay the bills ontime.

I basically had to force the organized part of me to die off when I got married. It makes me lose my mind sometimes, though. I wish I had the strength to put my foot down and make him organize his stuff so that I can live more comfortably. The biggest problem, though, is that we just don't have enough room in this tiny apartment.

Thats crap being ditched on the v-day, did you atleast get candy or gifts before he dropped the bomb so to speak?

Onto the subject, the type of gal I go for has gotta be a challenge, I hate women that throw themselves at you. They have to be chatty too, Im a really talkative/socialable person, and I hate those awkard moments that crop up when somebody cant think of something to say. What else... Erm... I dunno, its hard to describe what you want, because everyone you meet is unique. I guess so long as they spark my interest and make me smile, Im not to strict.

Haha, its an odd question, but its made me start thinking.

Hhmm...
Probably not the guy I'm with right now. He's too much of a playa playaaaa... XD

A guy that's strong, can look after me, makes me laugh, treats me right, doesn't act different when his friends are around, good looking, atheletic... and broad shoulders XD (I have a thing with broad shoulders =P)
And a guy that wouldn't play me >.>

I kinda like what I have now, laid back, sweet, comforting. I wish I could get him to like kids and be a little more assertive sometimes, but that's about it really.

Well I don't have to think about it anymore because I have been married a long time. But I always thought I needed someone larger than life, with a good sense of humor and a kind heart and a cute tushie didn't hurt either!

I once dated a boy who was absolutely amazing. I was completely in love with him. He was caring and funny, we had the same interests and weirdly similar personalities, and he was shy and quiet. He was a geek, but he was a hot geek. ;D
Then, one day, with no warning or sign, he broke up with me. He felt that he wasn't good enough for me and nothing that I could say would convince him otherwise.
But I was still in love with him and it was really annoying because I actually broke up with the guy I dated after him because I couldn't get over him. I had known this one for years, and I really liked him. I regret breaking up with him so much because it ended our friendship. :[
But, I didn't talk to the guy that broke up with me for about a year, and then we started talking again. He's now a really close friend. But I still have problems with comparing other guys to him. :oops: I think this may be a sign that I still like him, but I am in denial, because I know the relationship won't work and I desperately want to move on...