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Have you ever wondered why...
for the first few months of a relationship everything is great but then it sometiems starts to get really bad?
why does this happen?! |
The lust sort of dies? I'm not sure myself. I think the excitement at the beginning of a relationship just sort of dies a bit. But you know, it's most likely because you weren't meant to be. Try finding someone that you can continue doing fun activities with to keep the love alive. Don't let it die and you'll be together longer.
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When you first start a relationship, you usually have this spark, and everything seems perfect. Then, after a few weeks or months, it eventually dies down as you get used to being around each other and aren't as obsessed anymore. That's when you usually start seeing each other's faults more and get annoyed by them, leading to arguments and such.
I don't know why, but that's just how it is with most relationships. Past that point, you'll usually have to put effort into keeping the relationship together. |
When people first meet (and like) each other they are usually more polite and eager to please each other than they are once they've spent a lot of time together. It's kind of like siblings...most siblings seem like pains because you spend so much time together, but if you don't see them for a while you get along better at first. People just don't put as much effort into hiding their bad sides once they are comfortable with each other.
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probably because the two people go into the relationship without knowing enough about one another. then as you learn eachother's habbits and quirks, you realize you really dont want to be around the person D:
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The relationship has to develop a while before you start to find out the little habits of your partner. At first, you may just tell yourself that you'll get used to them, or just tell yourself its a phase, or maybe get blinded by the crush entirely. But sooner or later, you both smell the bacon and move on.
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Basically what everyone else said. In the beginning you want to try to make yourself more "likeable" to the other person and avoid any conflicts. Once you get further on and more comfortable you start to act your normal self and find things about eachother that are different than they were at first. This is sadly true in most cases, both relationships and friendships. I wish more people could just be themselves upfront and save the hurt, anger, etc later on.
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For the first few parts of the relationship, everything is bound to be happy, bright and shiny like rainbows and bunnies since both of you are still at the 'must put best foot forward' stage.
You're both still trying to impress and form a good image towards the person you're trying to entice to like you back. May it be entice to start liking you or just like you even more. Eventually, you'll get through this stage and come to a point where you try to open up and make each other comfortable with how you are past the 'must make good impression'---this is where the realities of life starts to kick in among the other not too nice things/qualities that both of you have will come out. Work. School. Family. Even personal issues start to surface and it only complicates things. Now, it's not a bad a thing or something abnormal as practically every couple faces through this. Thing is... Some don't want to go past the happy bunnies stage and want to keep being happy. : / |
That's because the relationship wasn't love. Infatuation feels the same... it's basically a crush... and after a while the feelings go away...
@ hotel - that happy stage never did disappear for me.. and I've known her for about a year now... I mean yeah were not dating.. but the feelings are still there... and we basically act like we are apparently o.o |
The "newness" wears off.
It's like when you get a new shirt. For the first few times you wear it, it's practically the best shirt ever. Then it becomes a nice shirt. And pretty soon, it's just another shirt. You get used to it. It's not new and special anymore. It's just the same old same old. Eventually, you get used to being in a relationship. It's not all new. You don't feel you have to impress the other person as much. So things go into a bit of a lull. My relationship actually took about a year to get to that stage. I'm one of the lucky ones I guess. XD But we're at the stage now, and trust me, it sucks. And for the record, I don't agree with Kaze-bear. Just because everything isn't super super intense doesn't mean you don't love the person. You can be less enthusiastic but still very much love and need the person. Just that "GOTTA HAVE YOU RIGHT NOW." thing has worn off. |
@ Cherry - Some relationships crumble when they get to that stage, some don't. I never said it's "not love" I said sometimes it's infatuation... infatuation does usually fade... it's basically a crush... but if you found love, then that's a different story.
And might I mention the question she asked was "why does this happen", thus the reason I pointed out infatuation...[/b] |
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I do agree that sometimes it is because it wasn't love to start with. But that's just if it fades off COMPLETELY. If it just tones down some, it could still be love. |
ever heard of the saying:
"love is blind"? in the first period, people are so in love, they project an ideal view of the other person onto that other person. when the first lovey-dovey feelings fade away, so does the projected image, and the 'true' person will be visible. sometimes, people are so good at 'lying to themselves', that they've pictured their beloved one as someone great and wonderful, when in fact, he/she isn't. that's when things either start falling apart, or if you really love each other, you try to work on it and stay together, and try to live with the lesser pretty sides of the other person ^^ |
Yeah, no kidding.
At the start you're basically hiding all your bad qualities and wanting the other to see only good characteristics. After a while you just stop caring as much and show it all. That's when things usually go down the drain because they liked the you that was just nice, not the complete you. Harsh as it sounds, it's what happens. |
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Doesn't really...well depending on first few months...would 18 months count? (a year and a half today \m/(",) \m/)
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Yea I quite agree with everyone, everyone tries to look nice at first but things start to leak out and in the end you find out what the other person is, XD this happens unconsciously, and some people do it knowing XD ..
I try to be myself at all times XD.. so if they don't like something of me they'll know it first, owo.. also when you start to get to know each other better you might find that you don't like the other person as much as you did before |
I think the reason is because humans get bored of each other when they are forced to be in contact most of the time. I think relationships go better when they can have time of there own.
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My guess is due to the fact that at the beginning of the relationship the two parties don't really know each other. They spend every available moment clinging to each other, though, and slowly get to know each other better. At first, you can overlook the bad things in favour of the good things because of the hypnotic newness of it all. There is also the fact that in a new relationship, you always start out being constantly on your best behaviour.
Later on in the relationship, as you start to get more comfortable, you start allowing more of your bad habits to surface. The more you are around irritating dirty habits, the more annoying those habits become. The more annoyed you become with the dirty habits, the more bad habits you let out of yourself. The more bad habits you let out of yourself, the more irritated the other party becomes and the more bad habits they allow to surface. That's when things start to take a nosedive. If you are in it just for the fun of it and don't want to take things seriously, that is where the relationship usually dies. Of course, this is all just speculation on my part. I've only ever been in one relationship, and I'm married to that person now (and have been for almost 6 years). |
I dunno. D; I can't say that's happened to me. I guess I've been pretty lucky. My only relationship has been two and a half years and still going strong. Sometimes there are ruts and slow patches but you can get through it by being creative and thinking of fun things to do.
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