This may get convoluted.

So a good year and a half ago, I had a boyfriend.
He was my best friend, and in a way, I loved him... but I didn't want to be with him anymore... for a very specific reason.

I wanted to break it off without being utterly devastating, and I didn't know what I could say to end it easily (or at least with the promise we'd still be friends); he's a very emotional guy, and frankly, the kid was hopelessly in love with me. I had no idea what he'd do if I said, "It's over."

So, I asked my friends for ideas. And of course, the infamous "Tell him your a lesbian!" line came up. But I didn't want to say that... I mean, it'd be an easy way out, but wouldn't it totally shatter his confidence as a man? So, I decided to just try and ease myself into the whole, 'let's just be friends' path.

Needless to say, it did NOT go well. He couldn't wrap his head around the idea of us not being together, and I could tell he was going into danger mode. Finally, I had no choice: I used the Lesbian Excuse. Of course, I was right about the whole man-pride thing, but after a bit of coaxing, he reestablished some of his lost glory.

The irony here is that that was the reason I wanted to break up in the first place. So my friend's think I lied and are having a good laugh, and my ex.boyfriend knows the truth.

So, SPOONS:

+ Have you ever been in a situation like this? Either with breaking up or sexuality issues? If not that, then something else?

+ If you haven't been in a situation like this, what would you have done in my place?

+ If someone did this to you, what would your reaction be? What's your take on the "My ex. broke up with me and went gay, shame on me" thing?

Annnnd.... anything else you think would make good convo fodder.

I've only ever had the one boyfriend, and we haven't broken up yet (Today, the first, is actually our 2 year anniversary) so I can't say that that's happened to me.
It is sort of an ironic situation, though.

But as for my reaction if someone did this to me... I would not be surprised.
My boyfriend is bisexual. And I have no problem with that, but it makes me terrified that one day he'll realize that he doesn't like the bewbiez at all and go "full gay" XD (We call him half gay now)
I mean, I know that isn't going to happen because he's a BIG fan of the bewbiez, but, y'know, sometimes when you hear him going on and on about this hot male celebrity, you just can't help but wonder a bit. XD

In your place.... Jeez, I don't know what I would have done. It's a very delicate situation. My boyfriend is very emotional too, so I can understand that much of it.
I probably would have ended up telling him, though. I couldn't lie to someone so close to me. He would deserve to know the truth.

In my opinion, moving from me to another man would make me feel far more inadequate than moving from me to another woman. I quite literally couldn't offer the same things a woman could in many areas.

Regardless, I've never actually had that happen to me, so I've never had to answer that question. :)

@Cherry Flavoured Antacid: Oh, it's definetly an ironic situation. Irony follows me like a cloud of locusts. It's always gettin' in my biznazz. XD

Bi, huh? I think that's even tougher then being gay in some cases... people either think you're too much of a bitch to come out, you're doing it for attention, or you're a cheating slut. What people often don't realize is that most REAL bisexuals aren't promiscuous... They say, "Oh, but she/he'll always want a taste of the other side!" but honestly, there's not much of a difference between being attracted to your girlfriend, but checking out other chicks (eyecandy). It's not like sexual feelings for other people disappear when you're with someone, no matter WHAT your gender or sexuality is.

The truth is always better, in my opinion. In the long run, we're still as good of friends as we were when we were dating, but he hasn't tried finding anyone else... I think he's still hoping I'll be like, "PSYCH, I don't like titties!"

@Kinmotsu: Well, I'm still a virgin, and I've never kissed anyone of either gender, so I'm going to feel inadequate no matter what. D:

Be glad you haven't: It's a tough call, and I wouldn't wish that awkward of a situation on anyone.

LOL, you're lucky he believed you. I had a friend who got used by this bitchy girl. After she had sex with him she later told him she was a lesbian to get rid of him. He believed her, even though we were all telling him he shouldn't. And lo and behold, it finally comes out that she did indeed lie to him and was not a lesbian. But from what he told us about her, it was quite obvious that she didn't suddenly just then figure out she wasn't attracted to guys. But yeah, since people lie about stuff like that to get out of relationships, you're lucky he didn't think you were just making up an excuse. XD

Originally Posted by Kinmotsu

In my opinion, moving from me to another man would make me feel far more inadequate than moving from me to another woman. I quite literally couldn't offer the same things a woman could in many areas.

Regardless, I've never actually had that happen to me, so I've never had to answer that question. :)

This man speaks the truth.

Although there could be the occasional thought of: "I was so bad, she went gay."

But still, if a girl turns lesbian after you, for one, she's not leaving you specifically, but the entire male gender, making it slightly less hurtful.. then there's the fact that you get to be the last guy she was with.

You could easily pull a Randal and claim to be the ultimate male. After you, no man would do.

@Vickicat: I wonder if he does believe me, to be honest. There was an incident where I was talking my attraction to females when he said quite dumbfoundedly: "Oh... i didn't think you'd decide what you liked so soon." Which, confused me... since I decided when i told him I was gay.

I'm also shy about saying what I find "hot", so it's not like when I came out I was reinforcing that belief.

@Sutebu: D; He actually did get like that, which is wh yi didn't want to tell him i was gay in the first place. And he hasn't got enough ego to say something like that. XD

Niiiiice. xD

So, what DO you find "hot?" xP

Y'know, I've had something sort of similar to this happen.. yet also completely different.

I told the truth without realizing it... realizing it would have been impossible, since I didn't know the fact that I stated.

See, I was joking around, and I suggested that a female friend of mine got an abortion while she was 6 months pregnant.. I forget why that joke worked at the time, but she kind of went, "OHSHI-! Don't tell anyone!"

I wonder if she was just messing with me...

What do I find hot, eh? Tall, lean... dominant, but not over-bearing. Confident without being arrogant. Androgynous, but not overly masculine. Artistic inclination, especially in music (since I have no talent in that area whatsoever). Essentially a female Kyouha from Ouran High School Host Club, if that makes it easier to imagine. XD

Sheesh, I would hope so! Six months? Cripes.

I had something similar happen to me but not with the best results. See, this one time I was making muffins for my Junior UFO Chasers group and I guess I went a little overboard and made too many. So around noon the mailman shows up, as he does everyday, and I open the door and introduce myself. He seemed like a nice guy and I offered him some of my muffins. Well, he just took that the wrong way.

He said, "Oh yeah, i'd like some of your muffins." In a really creepy way. And I said, "No no! I mean do you want some actual muffins!" And he replied, "Don't be coy. We both know what you meant." I was stuck! So I said, "Hey listen, i'm... uh... a lesbian!" And he said, "But... you're a guy." ... I stopped and thought for a minute and said, "Shit."

...Long story short... I had to give the mailman my "muffins".

...

:B ... Nah, it's never happened to me (except with the mailman). I have no energy for big lies so i'd just tell the other person flat out and hope for the best.

Originally Posted by Lantern Fish

What do I find hot, eh? Tall, lean... dominant, but not over-bearing. Confident without being arrogant. Androgynous, but not overly masculine. Artistic inclination, especially in music (since I have no talent in that area whatsoever). Essentially a female Kyouha from Ouran High School Host Club, if that makes it easier to imagine. XD

Sheesh, I would hope so! Six months? Cripes.

Yeah, I thought six months was illegal.. I thought it was only okay to do in the first trimester or something.

I can't remember who Kyouha was and I'm too lazy to look it up~ xP

@CH: Waaaitaminuuute... if you're a guy, how would you have "muffins" to give? >__>

Wowies.
o.o

I haven't actually been in a situation like this before, but it's interesting to read things like this.
[Not meaning it in a bad way or anything.]

hmmm that's tricky O.o must say I haven't been in such a situation..

Originally Posted by Sutebu

@CH: Waaaitaminuuute... if you're a guy, how would you have "muffins" to give? >__>

It's all how you define "muffins".

Being a gentleman, I shall refrain from going into detail. Suffice it to say it's a tender subject about a... tender area.

...:oops:

@Captain Howdy: That's fairly.... incredible. D: Is that a true story? Wow. I guess in this case, muffins is kinda like the song "milkshake"?

"My muffins bring all dah boys to the yard..."

@Sutebu: Yeah, it's VERY illegal. 3 months illegal. I don't know if the pregnancy was dangerous and they allowed her to abort at a later time... I'm not sure how it works i nthe circumstance. I'm hopin' she was jokin'.

And Kyouha is the... shadowy, calm and collected guy with glasses that does the paperwork behind the club.

@X-AutumnMilrose-X: XD No offense taken. I can definetly see the humorous side to this story.

@Captain Howdy (Again): D: Still can't beleive you actually did that. Are you pulling a fast one on me? QwQ I'm fairly gullible.

You did the right thing, in my opinion. If your friends think you lied, so what? xD

:o................
Omg that's hilarious! I think that this is really funny and I never had this problem before and hopefully I never will. xD If I were you I would have told him that........Well there is no easy way out of this one so I think you only had one choice. :lol: Yes I would be ashamed because it's like I turned him gay like.....I don't know but I would be very embarrassed. Good for him that he figured out his sexuality but bad for me because I would be like 'Omg I turned him gay'. But that's just me. xD

Originally Posted by puppylove#1

:o................
Omg that's hilarious! I think that this is really funny and I never had this problem before and hopefully I never will. xD If I were you I would have told him that........Well there is no easy way out of this one so I think you only had one choice. :lol: Yes I would be ashamed because it's like I turned him gay like.....I don't know but I would be very embarrassed. Good for him that he figured out his sexuality but bad for me because I would be like 'Omg I turned him gay'. But that's just me. xD

What? You misread the post. I was the one that went gay.

D: I don't know which of us is more confused.

@Pkero: Yeah. I'm not a liar by nature... I hate lying, and I won't do it unless it's an extreme situation.

Originally Posted by Lantern Fish

@Captain Howdy: That's fairly.... incredible. D: Is that a true story? Wow. I guess in this case, muffins is kinda like the song "milkshake"?

"My muffins bring all dah boys to the yard..."

@Captain Howdy (Again): D: Still can't beleive you actually did that. Are you pulling a fast one on me? QwQ I'm fairly gullible.

:rofl:

Sorry, Lantern. If there's one thing true about me it's that I like to joke. But I am highly amused you believed I had an afternoon tryst with the mailman.

*sings My muffins bring the mailmen to the yard...*

My second boyfriend was sort of getting on my nerves and his sister was being a bit mean as well.
After a month of being with him I finally admitted to myself and to him that I'm bi.
He couldn't take it but he proposed to me to prove I wasn't bi.
Also he feared that I would want to go out with his sister, who cheated on her ex with five different guys.
Ever since then I've never had a boyfriend longer than a month.
I guess he just put me off being with a guy for a long time.

@Captain Howdy: D: I knew it!! Gosh, I really AM gullible.

@Kiri Rose: PFFT his sister? Was there even evidence you liked her? I find it funny how as soon as you come out, people assume you want to sleep with EVERYONE. Even if you like both, doesn't mean you don't have standards.

As for me, I have a 'safety switch': If I know a person is straight or I don't think they'd like me or I'm unsure about it, I can't get a crush on that person. And since that covers most people, I've never had a real crush.

hmm.....well..that is a tough situation for you ^^"

I've been confused about my sexuality before, and that often did end up factoring into why my relationships weren't working out, whether it was with a guy or a girl.. still confused, but I'll just tell everyone I'm bi and let my emotions go weird on me like they do.. lol..

well...good luck with your situation.. it's usually me coming out to a gf as bi that gets me into trouble.. not really.. but yeah.. *is a very confusing person*

So your friends thought you were using that as one of those extremely lame excuses people use to break up with people but you weren`t really lying.I think you should have said that in the beginning though instead of using the lets be friends line because telling people you can still be friends usually tends to hurt them. Something like that has never happened before and if it happened to me[as in lets pretend im your bf but in girl version] and my boyfriend told me he was gay i might be a little surprised and hurt but i would deal with it and let him be himself.