Delete it if this is an un-acceptable post but i do wonder people's opinions.

I was smacked as a kid if i was badly behaved, and im not a nervous wreck as an 18 year old. So why would it matter if a child get's a little spanking when they missbehave?

I've heard alot about them banning the whole smacking your children thing.
and there was a news story about a couple getting refused adoption because they admitted to spanking their daughter when she was naughty, i thought it was pathetic.

yeah sure theres other ways to punish kids, like taking away the tv or console's or grounding them.
But it doesn't always work, they'll still end up like brats when they're older. thinking they can get away with murder.

I just want to hear other people's opinions.
Discuss :)

It really depends on the child and what behaver as well. The adoption system is very one sided on that sort of thin. They tell you right off the bat that if you make this child fell in dangered in any shape of way that its wrong in the eyes of the law. It makes it super hard for families trying adopted to make any disciplinary actions.

I, personally, was abused as a child. I flinch at every hand that's raised slightly. Even once, back when I went to school, I freaked out when someone next to me rose their hand really fast to answer a question. I would hate to see my children like me, so I would rather not do the spanking myself; in fear of becoming like my father. My mate will be the one doing it instead, as long as he doesn't do it abusively.

I do, however, believe a good whack on the ass is good for discipline or even a firm smack on the hand when that's necessary. As long as it's enough to get the point though and have the kid cry for only a few mins instead of hours in pain or fear.

If only hands are used (Not fists, not fingers, not knuckles, straight out hand) I find no problem in spankings. Using objects other then a hand is unquestionably abusive.

Sorry to hear that nikki, but i do agree with you.

As long as its not abusive, a good smack on the ass is fine xD
They've gotta learn somehow but going over the line is obviously too much.

Oh yea, I got spanked many times when I was younger. There was this time my mom was so pissed off at me she kept pinching me. It was painful and since it was summer and the windows were open, walkers that passed by my house heard. They were afraid and called the police. >< I was sorta glad they did. xD;

Well, my mom never spanked me no more after the social worker came along because I told my teacher that if I bring home my terrible grade for my mom to see, I will get hit. Of course during that time she did not hit me as much not more but the teacher actually called child service up. x_x I should've just forge the stupid signature...

But in reply to your question, not exactly. I will discipline them the best I can.

I think people really overreact to spanking.

Deal with it.

Grounding and taking away technology isn't going to do shit. Sometimes, kids need a smack in the rear to deflate some of that air up in their heads.

Just as long as parents dont' get carried away, I don't see the problem o fit.

Nope.

I won't do it. I refuse to hit a child in any way, shape or form.

If you hit a child, you teach them nothing other than that hitting other people is acceptable.
There are millions of other forms of punishment you can use, that are much more effective.
If you have to resort to spanking/smacking your children, you really need to work on your parenting skills.

Thankyou dystopia xD

I got spanked when I was younger and I see no reason why my kids, if I have any, shouldn't get spanked. Its character building and it lets the kids know that they did wrong. My mom used the spoon on me because whenever she used her hand she would hit so hard that it would hurt her hand.
Taking away things and grounding kids is good and all, until they don't give a flying mango about anything and sneak out. Spanking ain't no etcho sketch, its a punishment that can't be undid homeskillet, and theres no getting out of it.

I personally wouldn't whip out the spank card every time a child did wrong, something more like a last resort.

My reasoning is, sometimes things can't be solved by 'talking things out' or taking away things that the child simply will simply steal back.

Its either let the kid grow up thinking its alright to act like a smartass and treat everone else like the dirt under their feet or set 'em straight in a way that causes no permanet damage, but gets the message through.

What a lot of people here don't seem to recognise here, is what you are showing your child when you spank them.

The message they get is; "You've pissed me off, so I'm going to hit you."

I used to work at a daycare centre, and I could always tell which kids were spanked/hit by their parents.
Why? Because whenever one of the other kids did something they didn't like, like refusing to share a toy with them, they would hit the other kid and think nothing was wrong with that.
That kind of behaviour is unacceptable.

I understand what your saying Cherish, spanking can be wrong on some levels but theres a line.

Kids who think hitting other kids is acceptable is nothing more than dumb in my opinion.
but showing kids abit of disipline is not.

But that is exactly what you are showing them when you spank/smack them.

If I'd tell one of those kids off for hitting another kid, they'd always answer with something along the lines of "but they were naughty."
Because all that kid comprehends is that you get hit when you are naughty. So they think it's okay for them to hit other kids when other kids are naughty.

If that's what they're taught at home, it's very difficult to get that way of thinking out of their heads.

And as a parent, how do you make that distinction with such a young child? "Do as I say, not as I do"?

I don't think that's going to be a problem once they distinquish the real difference between right and wrong and authority and shit.

But I do admit that it is a problem for when they're younger.

That's the thing with kids; when they're young, they can't always comprehend the message you're trying to show them; when they're older, they're smart-arses who will call you out on your hypocrisy.

I, for one, would never tolerate my kids hitting anyone, whether it's their class-mates, their siblings or anyone else. It's something that I think is really bad, and completely unacceptable.
But even for something as bad as that, it would be hypocritical of me to punish them for hitting someone else by hitting them myself.

I'm a "the punishment should fit the crime" kind of parent. I don't see anything wrong with spanking at all. I do see parents on my mom's group that don't spank and most of them were abused as children as far as I can tell. They can't tell the difference between what I do and what their parents did to them.

Spanking...ooh, boy. That's an interesting one for me.

I think there's a fine line between discipline and abuse. Fact is, some kids, especially young ones, just plain don't respond to anything but a direct link between the bad thing they did and physical pain. One of the reasons we feel pain is so that we can LEARN "Hey, don't do that!" That's why it hurts when we put our hands on a fire or try to bend our bodies in ways that will damage our bodies - because we're supposed to realize we're not supposed to do that. Physical pain is a WARNING SYSTEM. To an extent, I don't see why one shouldn't use it as such for behavior-related issues.

But there's definitely a line that can be easily crossed if a parent gets too angry. I know my parents did several times...they later recognized it and apologized, but that doesn't exactly fix the fact that my mother once threatened to KILL ME, and probably would have if I hadn't run out until she calmed down. If you plan to use that, then you absolutely HAVE to set limits for YOURSELF before you even THINK about setting limits for the kid.

Also, Cherish's point about kids not fully getting the point. I never hit other kids "because they were naughty," because my parents made it clear to me that it was an ADULT'S place to decide whether or not someone had been naughty enough to deserve a spanking. They also made it clear to me that they were doing it because they didn't want anything bad happening to me down the line - which put me off "disciplining" my enemies, because I wanted karma to bite them in the ass. XD

As for now? I don't think I turned out too bad; my relationship with my mother is horrible, but that's because she changed...and possibly also because she was always the one with anger management issues. My dad and I get along pretty damn well...would be even better if not for my mother's asshattery driving a wedge into the family. >.<; And I have no problem with other people. I sometimes get violent thoughts, I admit, but I know perfectly well that it is NOT fine to actually hit another person except in self defense; I save the violent feelings for beating the living shit out of my pillows at home. It's good exercise. :D

I'd work on a 1 warning system. I'd tell you once & if you do it again you'd get smacked. You can't let kids think they can do whatever because they'll grow up to be pain in the asses and jerks as adults.

My daughter's one and she's already get used to the hand smacks and the butt spankings. I would never do anything to cause irreparable harm to my daughter but spanking kids, in my opinion, is okay. I doubt I would ever do stuff my parents use to do like wooden spoons and stuff just because it seems a little more painful but she gets spankings when she deserves them.

I think if a child needs it, they should get it. It worked along time ago, and it will work now. More and more children are being rude and ill mannered, wonder why?

Hitting and spanking your kids are two very different things. One promotes discipline while the other promotes abuse. I for one will spank my kids when they misbehave. Back in my parents day and age they were spanked with belts or rulers and they turned out fine. I would be spanked (very lightly but I would cry cuz I didn't get spanked very often) when I disobeyed or misbehaved. It's a normal punishment that should continue to be allowed. Spanking, or any other form of punishment should be had instead of having the child become spoiled and get what he or she wants.

Hitting, on the other hand, is abusive and can happen even when the child is not misbehaving. In that sense, parents should give up rights to even having children and put behind bars for all I care.

Some kids need it if they're very bratty.
But not very hard. I suddenly remembered this kid I used to know - when he did something bad, his mom would make him put his hand on one of hers, and then raise the other one and slap him on the back of the hand REALLY hard. Scared the shit out of me, and I wasn't even the one getting it. His hand would be so red afterwards. That was definitely too hard.

If I had a kid and it was really being a brat, it might get a slap on the ass. But never if it was something that a good talking to couldn't fix.

But I don't plan on having a kid, anyway. Bratty ones that don't listen just piss me the hell off. >.<

I think it depends on the age and just how naughty they're being.
When I was a kid I wasn't necessarily 'spanked', but I was smacked (by hand, wooden spoon, etc. etc.) if I was being excessively naughty.
I think it's best to have some sort of physical discipline, it was the only way I could be kept in line as a child and I think it's the only way to keep most children in line.
I'm perfectly fine now, in fact according to my teachers I'm unusually well-behaved, it's the same with my twin brother.
-shrugs-

It might differ from family to family, and child to child, but I think it's needed to let the children know what will happen if they over-step their given boundaries.
Of course, beating them black and blue and until they're bleeding or can't see straight is completely un-necessary. I think some parents do tend to over-do it, so if I ever have kids I'll definitely make sure I don't; or at least put in a conscious effort not to.

I made it sound sort of military-like but I wasn't trying to be mean.
Dxx

I would smack my child if it was misbehaving very badly.
Only in extreme situations, though.

But then again, I'd be a strict parent, probably because I absolutely do not like children.
Which is also why I don't want to have them.
But if I did, yes, I'd smack them in some cases.

Originally Posted by Cherish

What a lot of people here don't seem to recognise here, is what you are showing your child when you spank them.

The message they get is; "You've pissed me off, so I'm going to hit you."

I used to work at a daycare centre, and I could always tell which kids were spanked/hit by their parents.
Why? Because whenever one of the other kids did something they didn't like, like refusing to share a toy with them, they would hit the other kid and think nothing was wrong with that.
That kind of behaviour is unacceptable.

I got spanked as a kid but I NEVER hit any other child. I understood I did something wrong that's why I got spanked. I didn't think that it's ok for me to hit anyone else.