People are going to say whatever they want.
It's called exercising freedom of speech as per allowed by the First Amendment.

However, we're not talking about jerks making gay comments, we're talking about a person using a slang that's offensive to a friend, that's different. If there's something that bothers you, and I'm sure there is, I'm sure you wouldn't want your friend to completely disregard your feelings on the matter and go ahead and do it anyways.

If it;s random people saying stuff, then it shouldn't matter. You don't know them, so who cares what they think, but if it's someone who is supposed to be your friend, they shouldn't say things that hurt your feelings. It's hurtful because it's their friend and friends are supposed to care for eachother.

i don't honestly care who's offended by what i say.
if someone gets offended when i use the word "fag" or "gay" jokingly and not towards them, they're oversensitive to me, and i couldn't really care less.
maybe i'm just a cold-hearted bitch, though? i dunno.

words have double-meanings, whether they were originally intended to or not, and words that were once derogatory and offensive have become common, everyday slang. even if they're nonsensical, it doesn't matter. it just comes out when you wanna say something vulgar, like "HOLY JESUS MONKEY BALLS!" or something.

the only people i've ever met who have been offended by either of those words were straight. my gay friends use them all the time. :\

When your "gay friends" do it, it's called empowerment disempowerment. It's the same thing as African-americans dropping the n-word like it's the only word in the dictionary from time to time.

but with my friends, i really think the word just holds a different meaning depending on the context in which its used.
it's not like they go around saying "YOU'RE JUST A BIG FAG" all the time so that when someone questions them they can pull out the "gay card", it just slips out, the same way "shit" would.

honestly, i think it all has a lot to do with not taking yourself too seriously.

Gay was ment to be the word "happy" or "joyful" before it was used as a derogatory statement towards homosexuals. Using the term "wow, that's gay" is meaning "thats fucking stupid" or "thats retarded" If you use gay in that text it is a derogatory term in order to show dislike towards an object or person. So, I can see why he would get upset. I have alot of homosexual friends and I find it hard to not use that anymore, but I see why they dislike it.

The funny thing is I would probably be offended myself. Even though I'm not a complete lesbian... when using "gay" in a bad context you make it seem as if being gay is bad. I can't really complain because I have the same issues with calling things "retarded". Same basic concept... i'm saying that people with mental illnesses are bad. But they're really not. I understand that it's just vernacular and you're not MEANING it to be offensive... But I would just play it safe and avoid saying it while you're within ear shot with people who actually do like the same sex. I never say "wow, that's retarded" in front of people with mental illneses.

That's even worse. If you say something as a habit, and you can't say it to anyone you meet, you shouldn't be saying it. Using your logic, it's perfectly okay to talk about "niggers" as long as there aren't any black people around.

Unless you can apply what you say evenly, it shouldn't be said.

I never said it was the "right" thing to do. But habbits are hard to break espically when they were a part of popular culture when you were growing up. When I was a kid everyone said that and even thought it wasn't the best thing to say... we said it anyway. I went through sensitivity training when I got hired onto a technical school and it's one of the things they taught in there. I've been correcting myself, but it STILL comes out every once in a while. Point is you have about three options. The first is to change your speech pattern so it offends no one all the time. (This is almost impossible.) The second is to blatently say it to everyone regardless of how it makes them feel. And the last is to only say it when it's not going to offend anyone.

There's a song from the play "Avenue Q" which is entitled "Everyone's a little bit racist..." I don't think I've ever heard anything more true. I HATE racism with a PASSION... but we all have things we do and say in life that's going to offend SOMEONE. You can't be so perfect that you're never going to say or do something that someone is going to take offense to. I personally believe that it's stupid to change who you are just because someone takes offense to it. I mean, if everyone were the same there would be no diversity in the world...

I'm straight and it offends me for my homosexual friends, and the LGBT community as a whole.

In highschool, people OVERUSED gay as a bad thing, and I spoke out against it. I was called a lesbian for the longest time and you know what hurt me the most about that, besides the fact that they were wrong? The fact that they were using that perfectly normal word as a BAD THING. Like I should have been ashamed of considering people from the LGBT community to be equals. And that's my beef with the misuse of the word.

The only reason it got into mainstream cultures is because of the word queer. People get mad at me when I say "thats so queer" because now it is used as a term for homosexuals. (Be it mean or not, it still is). But queer was orginially ment to be odd/weird/dumb/etc. Now instead of saying gay we say queer. And vice versa.

No one should be offended.
Thats like saying a female dog is going to get huffy about me calling someone the "B" word. Its a new slang word. Yes, it is sad to take a word that classafies a group of people and make into a slang term meaning stupid, but come on, stop being so sensitive about it.

I am a part of and have many friends in the GBLTQ community. Just so everyone knows... And I do not find this offensive.

Really? Honestly? You believe that? Ok...

Im just going to say it again- it's not the word itself, it's the CONNOTATION it's USED IN. Using a word, ANY WORD, that classifies a group of human beings in a derogatory sense is insulting and RUDE. I get mad when men refer to women as 'bitches' and 'hos'. I get mad when girls call each other 'sluts' and 'whores'. And I get PARTICULARLY angry when people take 'gay' or 'lesbian' in a negative sense. Yeah- I've heard people say 'That's so lesbian' before. It's ridiculous.

I'm also getting pretty angry with 'no homo' these days. When will people accept homosexuals as people too? As of right now, we are looking at the homosexual as a second class citizen and it's unfair and wrong. I believe that if people stopped using things like 'that's so gay' things like Prop 8 wouldn't pass, and the hatred would dissolve so much faster.

It's ridiculous.

Honestly, that's there buisness. People in my town used to say "Yur gay" (Later changed to "Yur Gah" Because we complained) So we just said "Your Hetro" back to them. They didn't know what it ment! They would run around saying "I'm not effing hetro!".


Alright this is getting into a different debate. But I am kind of proud of our generation. I mean, yeah there are still hicks and what not bashing homosexuals left and right, but back like, 30 years ago? We wouldn't be having gay pride parades and various TV shows with open homosexuals on them. The world has evolved a lot.
We even have people claiming to be "bi" just to be cool and to get attention.
The world grew up, and it is still growing up. Some people will always be against them, but the amount of people that are open minded is amazing.

I just think that going around calling things you don't like or think are stupid are gay sounds stupid. My daughter used to say it all of the time and it irritated me to no end. I can kind of see your friends point, it would be a little insulting if you were gay for people to run around saying that in that context all of the time. It is just slang but, it isn't very nice and kids should think of something different to say.

But, just playing the devil's advocate here, up pops the issue of African Americans calling each other the n-word, or homosexuals calling each other (and I shudder to even have to type the words) 'fag' and 'dyke'. It's horrible, but what's to be done? People think that by using the word in such a way they're softening it and lessening it's power, when in reality, they're only making it worse.

I was about to say the same thing St. JH!


Honestly, it's a fad, soon kids will find a new word and boom people we be mad about that.
Telling people not to say "that's so gay" is like saying "gay" is a swear word and you shouldn't say it. Don't say the 'n' word, don't say the 'g' word.


Sorry... That was not a nice comment.... I know thats not what people are tryinig to do. I agree with people taking sayings like "retarded" and throwing a fit. But "gay"? Be adults and don't let kids make upset!

Well, some people are offended when you call something "retarded," too.
Gay and retarded are meant as slang for "bad" and I don't think people should be so sensitive about it.

But, why shouldn't people be so sensitive about it? You're only disparaging an entire group of people by making them synonymous with "bad" or "stupid." That sounds like something to get offended over.

After all, that's why other epithets have fallen out of social normality.

You can be as offended as you like, but you can't change what other people say. It bothers me when people use x-mas instead of Christmas, but I can't control what other people choose to say.

That's kind of comparing apples and oranges, since saying "x-mas" isn't denigrating an entire race, class, or group of people.

Okay..don't see how x-mas relates to racism and etc.

And I can't believe this argument is going on. But personally I'm a sensitive person, I get upset when people call me a "bitch" or whatever, even if it's so commonly used nowadays. It doesn't matter if a person uses the world in a joking way, if he's serious, or it just slips out. Some people couldn't care less what they're called, but that's just not me. And my friends respect them, and I treat them with the same common curtsy. I think a lot of people say these slangs as part of their normal vocabulary because the words/connotations doesn't affect them personally, of maybe they're just thick skinned. But if there's a person who does mind being called such names, then there's a simple solution, don't talk to them, don't be their friend. There's no need to call them oversensitive or anything. Everyone has a sensitive issue.