Menewsha Avatar Community - The myth of the female orgasm

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The myth of the female orgasm

Men reach orgasm easily and definitely, whereas woman have to work hard and long to get there (if they get there at all).
Is this really true?

Here are some more myths listed:

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1. Myth: Women should have an orgasm every time she has sex, otherwise something is wrong with her.
Fact: The fact is that some females have orgasms and they simply don’t know it. Some women do not experience orgasm in the sense of feeling their pelvic floor muscles contract however they reach a peak of arousal after which they feel very relaxed and contented, the same feelings other women experience after orgasm.
On the other hand, females who do not reach orgasm sometimes feel very nervous and even have an aching discomfort in their pelvis. After all, women are like snowflakes; no two are alike. The truth is only one in four women regularly has an orgasm during intercourse and a third rarely or never do.

2. Myth: It's bad sex if woman doesn't have an orgasm.
Fact: Many women enjoy being close, kissing, hugging, cuddling and are satisfied even if they do or do not always reach an orgasm. Some women even prefer foreplay to actual sex and orgasm. According to the Sexual Dysfunction Association, 12 percent of women never have an orgasm.

3. Myth: Females can’t ejaculate.
Fact: Many people believe that females don’t ejaculate which is a myth as women do ejaculate (it's a non-lubricating fluid that is simply wet) and at times with much more force. It is a relatively new acknowledgment in the scientific community yet there’s plenty of evidence to support the claim.

4. Myth: The G-spot doesn't exist.
Fact: Quite a few people think that there's no such thing as G spot and it's just a myth created by women to highlight the inadequacy of a man in giving pleasure. But what they don’t know is that every woman on the face of the earth has a G-spot, which is located two to three inches deep inside the opening to the vagina on the outside or anterior wall.
Studies show that all women describe some degree of sensitivity in that area. Some females love having their G-spot stimulated but many don’t.

5. Myth: A circumcised penis decreases a female’s ability to experience orgasm.
Fact: Circumcision is the surgical removal of the male foreskin, usually during the first few days after birth. Some circumcised men reportedly experience a lack of sensitivity when engaged in sexual activity. A circumcised penis may need additional lubrication for both partners to experience pleasure but there is no study that links circumcision in men to a woman’s ability to attain orgasm.

6. Myth: Size matters for most women.
Fact:The size of the penis does not matter for women and both smaller and larger penises alike can offer the same amount of pleasure. As the G-spot is only two to three inches inside the vagina, it can be easily accessible via fingers or an average sized penis.

7. Myth: Using condoms affect a female’s ability to have orgasm.
Fact: Condoms are an effective and necessary method of contraception and also help prevent the STDs (sexually transmitted diseases). Some men and women say that due to the use of condoms they have decreased sensitivity during intercourse, thus making it harder for them to orgasm.
The fact is condom does not interfere with female orgasm, particularly in case of clitoral orgasm, an orgasm resulting from direct stimulation of the clitoris. But if a female does find the condom to be getting
in the way of her orgasm then she can always go for specialized condoms designed for her pleasure.

8. Myth: Men know how to please their lovers.
Fact: Past studies show that nearly 70 to 90 percent females never reach orgasm during sex and also five out of ten women never climax with their lover. So, men boasting of their abilities to make a woman orgasm must remember that the ultimate knowledge of a woman’s orgasm lies with her.
- source: themedguru.net

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Anorgasmia is an inability to reach orgasm and is thought to occur in about 10% of women. Anorgasmia may be either primary (the woman has never been able to reach an orgasm by any means) or secondary (an orgasm was experienced at some point in the past). It may also be global (orgasm is not experienced by any means) or situational (orgasm may be experienced in certain sexual situations but not others; for example, with manual stimulation but not with intercourse).

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Source: warezrocker.net

What I would like to discuss is, if you think the female orgasm

1) Really exists
2) Is necessary for a woman to have enjoy sex?

Uh...it exists.

Unless the orgasms I have been having for the past few years don't really exist. At least they might be really, really enjoyable hallucinations. =D

It's just that orgasms during sex for a woman...it doesn't happen often. I have had no orgasms during sex, but plenty during masturbation.

(By the way, I enjoy sex and I haven't orgasmed from it yet.)

Wonder if a man wrote those "myths", most of them are pretty uninformed. Women can generally have two different forms of orgasm, one from clitoral stimulation, and one from actual penetrative sex. A great deal of women do not/cannot orgasm from penetrative sex, but that doesn't mean they don't find it enjoyable. Especially if they're fully aroused and have already reached orgasm prior to penetration.

So in a way you could say that an orgasm is necessary for a woman to enjoy sex, but really only if they're not having one because they're not aroused, either through lack of desire, or their partner not having a clue how to arouse them; and if that is the case it's the woman's own fault because she should offer some guidance as men aren't born with these skills, neither are they mind readers.

Some women certainly will prefer foreplay to sex itself, mainly because, for women who don't orgasm through penetration, sex can get boring if it goes on for too long xD

Yes, I do think the myths were invented by men xD

I think aside from any possible physical l problems,I think not being able to get an orgasm is a problem of being unable to completely let go.

A woman experiences sex completely different as a man and woman's orgasm lays "between her ears' more then being it just a physical reaction to stimulation.
I mean, there are a lot of women who fake orgasm in the bedroom with there partner, just as much as there are men who do orgasm, but not enjoyed it.
When you have troubles on your mind, of course you might have problems to fully let go.

Another part I think is the whole taboo around masturbation with females. When you see that like more then 90% percent of the men masturbate often, against about 60% of all the females. If you yourself don't know what you enjoy, then how can a man know (they are such doofus already :XP)

I think the one myth that might be true, is getting a simultaneous orgasm during sex. Hollywood, you so mean! xD

I think we are thinking too hard here about all those technicalities. I mean, foreplay is usually just clitoral stimulation and stimulation of the other erogenous zones, as opposed to sticking it in there, un-lubricated and not prepared. Just an important note to remember is that many women climax with clitoral stimulation as opposed to vaginal stimulation. During penetration it is mostly stimulation from the shaft of the penis stimulating the clitoris that adds to the sensation. That is not to say that vaginal orgasm do not exist, but the clitoris is a very important part that often gets overlooked. In a lot of media, they make it seem like it's just the ol' stick-in-the-hole game.

Well, a lot of times when there are myths or questions listed on a site or booklet, it's done in a leading or misleading way just so someone can talk about another topic. Just a vehicle from an uncreative person and nothing to get super upset or focused about.

And no, you don't really need to have an orgasm to enjoy sex, but it's not that much of a challenge to have an orgasm. Although I do enjoy the guys who think the clitoris is your pee-hole. ._.

ROFL......Sex. I'm so immature. D:

I have never had an orgasm during sex.
The man I was with didn't care though, sadly. He was annoyed when he had to please me, so we would both get angered and nothing would happen.
My current boyfriend and I haven't done anything sexual yet, so I'm hoping that since he loves me and wants to do things for me, I'll be able to have one with him. :)
I've been able to give myself orgasms, I'm just kind of scared I won't be able to have one with someone else.

I have never been able to have an orgasm without direct clitoral stimulation, but one day I want to experience a gspot orgasm. I've tried many times to have one but I can never make it happen.

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Originally Posted by *Hime* (Post 1764524058)

1) Really exists
2) Is necessary for a woman to have enjoy sex?[/SIZE]
[/SIZE]

From personal experience,

1. It's most certainly possible, yes. But like *Hime* said though, it happens mostly between a woman's ears too. It's possible, but whether or not it happens depends on a multitude of variables.
2. No, not at all. It certainly is a bonus, but definitely not necessary.

Echoing everyone else here, yeah, these've gotta be myths invented by men. Very sad, untalented men... :lol:

I wonder if they were invented from some sort of insecurity.

When the woman doesn't come, it seems to be a bruise for the male ego. Personally, I can enjoy having sex without being able to climax, especially when I love the guy in question very deeply.

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Originally Posted by Stupid (Post 1764524654)

I'm so sorry you had such a selfish lover, that really sucks. But rest assured there are many guys out there who get off on getting their woman off ;)

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Originally Posted by *Hime* (Post 1764539938)

When the woman doesn't come, it seems to be a bruise for the male ego. Personally, I can enjoy having sex without being able to climax, especially when I love the guy in question very deeply.

Honestly, I think a man easily "bruised" by this is almost as insufferable as one who is selfish and doesn't care at all.

I don't want to feel like I don't matter, but I also don't want to feel pressured into having any one specific sexual experience (especially ALL the time). I want to be able to enjoy good sex in MY way, with a partner who cares enough to experiment and enjoy it without USING me as an ego boost.

Though I don't really like the fact that I've got a female body, I still have sex whenever I can with my boyfriend. When I stay at his house for a day and we're able to, I normally orgasm after our second time, sometimes even the first time that day (we're rabbits.. lol). So yeah. I'd say it exists. I like it, but I can't get it by myself. Probably because I don't want to touch there.

Echoing Islines, the answers to your questions are yes and no, respectively.

Doomfishy, I know what you mean. Being constantly asked 'have you come yet' makes it harder to enjoy sex. Just focus on what makes you feel good and it generally works for me too :)

I don't think a woman needs an orgasm to enjoy sex.
Ofcourse there is sex without love, purely for lust. In that case, the priority for both parties would probably be an orgasm.

In any other case, I think you don't need an orgasm to enjoy sex. Male, or female. If you love the person you're having it with, it wouldn't have to make a difference.

@ All men
Talk to you girlfriend about this. ;)

it is not a myth nore is it or dose it have to be a long and strenuious jerny it is all about mental state and obviously the ability of the other party, and as for males taking a short period of time also lies ofteen in the bedroom i out last my gf it is all about ones mental state the period of time between last having sex and forplay ect.

Well said Urufu.

The female orgasm has to exist, simply because i believe in the principle of equivalent exchange, Thank FMA.

That and my girlfriend whom i love very much has had orgasms during every intercourse we have had. Hoorah.

Or atleast, you think she does. ;)

Quote:

1) Really exists

Yes, they exist.

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2) Is necessary for a woman to have enjoy sex?

I've known women who get headaches if their partner is incapable of bringing them to orgasm. For these women orgasms are necessary for them to enjoy sex and hence necessary for a healthy relationship.

The female orgasm totally exists. I don't really think that not orgasming ruins sex, it depends on weather you are in love with that person. If your are in love, then it doesn't matter, what matters is being close to that person. If you are just doing it purely for the satisfaction with someone you do not love, I guess it does matter.

Yes I do believe it exists, and yes i do think is a necessary part of sex. HOWEVER, I don't think it's necessarily the all the mans fault if the female can't/doesn't climax. Let's be honest girls...how many of us actually direct our men to what makes us feel good, and how many of us just let them do there thing blindly?

A lot of younger women especially don't know there bodies well enough to even know what they like. Basically if you've never had an orgasm WITHOUT help of a man it makes it harder for you to vocalize what you want them to do.

Of course it exists!

I can only imagine a myth like this coming about from a combination of - 1- men not even trying to please their lovers and so they don't orgasm from sex with those men and 2 - women don't tend to ejaculate so there isn't much physical "proof' of the climax.

And... the second question really depends upon the woman, I think. Every time I have sex and don't orgasm, I get really effing pissed off afterwards. This is heightened by the fact that 99% of my orgasms are the result of touching myself. So, if the man makes it impossible for me to do so and doesn't seriously try to do much of anything himself, then I get a sour feeling about the entire experience.

And... it doesn't have anything to do with loving my partner. I am insanely in love with my boyfriend now and he's the best lover I've ever had. But it is extremely difficult for anyone to make me orgasm on their own (and YES I certainly do direct him towards doing what I enjoy, but I still don't feel its all his fault)

I personally have never experienced an orgasm, I think any way. If I have it wasn't that dramatic and was VERY hard to reach. I know a few women who are able to reach it easily and even.. squirt which is just the female equivalent to ejaculating. I do not think orgasming is necessary to enjoy sex. I personally enjoy it every time and sometimes it only lasts a few mins. I love my boyfriend very much and just to be that close to him emotionally and physically makes it the best sex I have ever had. He does try to make me orgasm but I think I have only orgasmed once with him. It really just depends on the girl herself.

Oh my goodness...how did I ever miss out on this topic?? Hopefully I won't be stoned for answering, but I feel compelled to reply...=3

YES - the orgasm is not a lie. It's just much more difficult for a woman to obtain. It's one of those things where everything needs to be 'just right' (at least for me) and I need to be in the right mindset for it. I will also tell you right off the bat that an orgasm achieved from masturbation is a much different feel than having one during physical sex. Also, I've had both an orgasm from clitoral and vaginal stimulation. I don't think I've ever achieved it off vaginal alone.

I'll tell you right now that 90% of the time I have sex I will not reach orgasm but I still really enjoy sex so if you're asking me the answer is no it isn't needed. But it feels great.

Now the G-Spot orgasm I haven't felt, nor have I actually 'ejaculated' anything noticible or I should say 'stream-like'. Apparently it's just a big mess anyhow and not really that much of a turn-on. *shrugs*

The interesting one is my husband has actually physically blacked out twice after a really intense orgasm. Once with an ex of his, and then once with me. He said just everything went white for a couple of seconds...I've never had that happen...

I like how people think the female orgasm doesn't exist. Anyway... I think a huge part of female orgasm is psychological. I know that it's harder for me to orgasm while messing around with my boyfriend because I'm paranoid that his parents could walk in at any time. But I'm perfectly fine with orgasming easily when I'm alone. It's also easier for me to do it by myself because I can actually feel what I'm doing, whereas he sometimes has no idea. xD

ADVICE TO GIRLS: Show your guy what you like during foreplay. xD And guys, ask? It helps lots~