do you ever wonder what to do about wasted potential? Do you feel sorry for people who squandered their lives and talents, or do they revolt you? Do you feel as tho YOUR time is being wasted? What's holding you back from attaining the goal of being whatever you most want to be?

Well, I think it has a lot to do with the environment you grew up in. A lot of those winos and crackheads probably grew up in a bad environment where it would have been really hard for them to realize their potential. I think it depends on the situation, really.

Originally Posted by coconutberry

Well, I think it has a lot to do with the environment you grew up in. A lot of those winos and crackheads probably grew up in a bad environment where it would have been really hard for them to realize their potential. I think it depends on the situation, really.

talking about wasted potential....hmmm....maybe they knew they were talented but they think that the talent is something not important or maybe they don't want the talent..-_-''
what about time being wasted?? >> sometimes, yea...sometimes, it gives a good effect. who knows~
what do they wanna be?? >> I guess they had to give up for it...
why?? >> lack of confidence.. environmental factors..no self esteem..etc..

what am I talking about..oh never mind..

All my potential was ruined by my mental illness and the inability of the people around me to accept me as I am.
So they put me on medication, and now I probably can't have kids of my own, my memory is shot, I have seizures and trouble dealing with my emotions.
I'm very smart, but I was left completely unprepared for everything because I had so many opportunities available, but everyone around me routinely shut them. (I want you to get a job, but I won't provide transportation or money for you to apply to said job/get to (after I get hired) said job when I don't have ANY money of my own--no allowance, no chores money, ect.)

It's very frustrating--and because I don't want to end up a hopeless fuck up, I'm slowly working on reopening some doors. But most of them once shut, are locked forever so it's hard. :(

I try not to judge people by where they are in life, unless they routinely fuck it up for themselves of their own free will--like junkies.

I'm not wasting one drop of my potential. So when it comes to me, my life, my potential, it's all goooood~

As for others, I pity them. If they wasted their potential on purpose, willingly, and knowing what they were doing, I pity them. I spare myself one second to feel so sorry for them. Then I go 'bout my way cuz that's all the time they deserve from me. But when the potential is wasted due to external circumstances, that's harder to say. But frankly, if it's just "the environment" one grew in, I feel they can overcome it if they truly want; some might blame it on that because they never amounted to anything, but plenty of people who are now celebrities can attest otherwise. Self-pity, I think, is harmful in those cases.

When it comes to cases like what monstahh`endured, then I wish I could have done something, if I noticed this being done to a person near me. I know what it feels like and I know if around the right people, that potential can be nurtured and not wasted. So then I do wish I could have played a part in that person's life.

But I guess my reaction is very different depending on the situation.

Do I feel sorry for people who squandered their lives? No I don't feel sorry for them. I am never sympathetic to those who made choices of their own free will. The poor environment isn't a great excuse, lots of people have come a long way from bad situations so it's not impossible to make something of yourself when you're down. I say leave them. They made their choice now they can deal with the consequences.

To me it all depends on the person. Some were born and rasied in a bad enivorment. And rised above that its how you take it. If you let it eat you up it will. Some people can't control the outcome of there lives but try to make the best of it.

i had my issues in the past, whichi s still holding me back to this day because of the legal system. But you know what, everything I've been through has made me a better person today.

I've always said you can either be a victim or a survivor. As you may know the victim mentality often makes people as bad or worse of a bully than the bullies who kept them under- "I was attacked, the world owes me!" But a survivor lives thru and rises above it all.

That said, I've always tried hard to be a survivor. :)

There's this kid in my neighborhood. Last night I was in the store picking up some things and heard the storeclerks chuckling over him shoplifting and calling the cops on him. I had to sort of have a laugh about it with my roomie when I got in, because this same kid had robbed a delivery guy bringing food to our house the year before. He had tried to start a huge drama in the neighborhood because he was furious we 'ratted' on him (in other words, called the police to report our food stolen!) Because the neighborhood has a lot of criminal types in we were actually shunned for a good while as we hadn't been living by 'convict code'. Which, you know, having no criminal record, is not something I'd know about or care about at all if one of the neighbors who did talk to us hadn't explained it. Since a lot of them are on probation or trying to keep out of trouble bringing the cops into the neighborhood scares everyone, so we were the 'bad guys' for awhile. For what? For not wanting to be robbed??? Anyway. Long story short the kid and his friends carried on causing trouble and doing little crimes for the rest of the summer and then finally got caught. Because they were minors they only got a short time in juvvie and then were released on probation.

Now, a smart kid would fix their life after that little wakeup call, right? Go back to school, maybe get some legit work, something like that?

Apparently not. He went right back to trying to stir up trouble for us for what we did to him. And of course, will probably blame the store owner likewise when he gets caught for violating his probation and shoplifting.

Like said, wasted potential. Wasted life. There probably goes the rest of his childhood.

Originally Posted by coconutberry

Well, I think it has a lot to do with the environment you grew up in. A lot of those winos and crackheads probably grew up in a bad environment where it would have been really hard for them to realize their potential. I think it depends on the situation, really.

I very much agree with your statement. For example, a child will have to learn to adapt to little food or he would die. If the child had an impatient streak, then he would learn to be patient if someone corrects him every time he/she throws a tantrum. And maybe it was just plain bad luck that made it so they could never work again and they keep on getting harassed or something and that just drove them over the crazy line.

I don't care what people do so long as it doesn't affect me negatively. If they're adults and they want to make less than smart decisions, they can.

I don't want to be anything in particular *shrug*

Originally Posted by Explodey

Do you feel sorry for people who squandered their lives and talents, or do they revolt you?

I don't believe in pity -- it's a destructive emotion that's let's a lot people think they are off the hook for ignoring their blessings. Some people will do anything to get it, tho, and I don't know why. It's not love or kindness.

I think some people fear success -- they don't think they deserve it, and for all I know, they might have a point. You look at what too much of it can do to certain people -- they implode because they take it all too seriously. Some extremely successful people are no better off than those who are destitute -- they are both lonely, reviled, unloved with the same anger and addictions, and no one knows who they are really.

Success is important, but it cannot be your sole purpose -- if you are unhappy with yourself before it, you won't be any happier after it. I think that's why so many successful people become even more depressed and miserable -- their magical cure-all doesn't work, and the revelation hits them hard. If you just have to learn to love and accept yourself as you are first, and then the success become meaningful -- and you don't go seeking it to elevate your own worth or look for other people to validate you...

Funny you should mention that. I was talking with a musician friend I know about this subject the other day, and they were pointing out the reason he doesn't do much with his music anymore is that nothing changed after he had a few hits. Besides, it was about whether or not the music gave you any feelings or not. He quoted Craig Strete's Burn Down the Night-ever read that? it's about some character's fictious time hanging out with Jim Morrison of The Doors. The part he quoted was when the main character is hanging with some band, and when they went onstage they sort of transformed- the singer wasn't just this drunken schmoe he'd been up to that point, he was like a god. But later when someone told him he played a good show he snapped at them- "so what? it's over." and another C said something like "they only love for that moment up onstage. Everything before and after is like so much shattered glass."

Potential is a difficult word. I used to think in very linear terms about my life but now I am realising I effect things a bit like ripples in a pond. I went to teachers college because it was there and I got accepted. It was never what I planned and worked towards. Now, looking back, I see how much richness I have because of my career but also because of incidental encounters... some of them with homeless "losers", some with the very wealthy. What I am trying to say is, you can't judge anyone by the snapshot of the moment, or hour, that you see in their life. Mother Theresa said, "We cannot do anything great in this life, we can only do small things with great love". Sometimes calling the police is doing something in great love, it gives people a chance to make a change, sometimes they need that chance several times. Sometimes helping the homeless is loving, sometimes it is enabling them to make more bad choices. It is not my job to decide how my encounter helps or hinders, but to do what seems right at the time. In a small act of great love.

I must say I do get quite jealous when I see people that are so insanely talented and yet this don;t maximise their potential. Like my friend who is a stunning artist.......yet dropped out of her art course and is now a cleaner. It frustrates me so badly because she could have gone so far, and if I had that talent i'd be drawing everyday...I work so hard and my efforts only come across as mediocre at best. It is very annoying.
I also find it similar on mene when you see someone with all the expensive items yet the avi's they make are terrible and you just think....the things I could make with that item.....

Originally Posted by Eastriel

I must say I do get quite jealous when I see people that are so insanely talented and yet this don;t maximise their potential. Like my friend who is a stunning artist.......yet dropped out of her art course and is now a cleaner. It frustrates me so badly because she could have gone so far, and if I had that talent i'd be drawing everyday...I work so hard and my efforts only come across as mediocre at best. It is very annoying.
I also find it similar on mene when you see someone with all the expensive items yet the avi's they make are terrible and you just think....the things I could make with that item.....

Talent is such a small part of the equation. Self-esteem, confidence, hard work, perseverance, bravery -- that can do a lot more than mere talent. It takes a thick skin to take a lot of rejection, ridicule, and criticism and talent alone is not going to see you through. You have to believe in yourself and the work that you do, too, even when the whole world is ridiculing you...

Originally Posted by Eastriel

I must say I do get quite jealous when I see people that are so insanely talented and yet this don;t maximise their potential. Like my friend who is a stunning artist.......yet dropped out of her art course and is now a cleaner. It frustrates me so badly because she could have gone so far, and if I had that talent i'd be drawing everyday...I work so hard and my efforts only come across as mediocre at best. It is very annoying.
I also find it similar on mene when you see someone with all the expensive items yet the avi's they make are terrible and you just think....the things I could make with that item.....

You also have to think in terms of practicality. Sure her art is great, but is it good enough to put a roof over her head? Food in her mouth? Given the economy and the art field in general, the answer is likely no.

Originally Posted by Ancasta

You also have to think in terms of practicality. Sure her art is great, but is it good enough to put a roof over her head? Food in her mouth? Given the economy and the art field in general, the answer is likely no.

It could be if she believed in herself and was willing to work hard at it. I find a lot of people who are business-savvy have no artistic sense and people who do aren't good at business because they have a hard time promoting themselves. They get an idea that if the product is good, it will speak for itself, and sadly, you have to sell hard and point things out.

Lots of artists sell their work way under what it is truly worth. I always said art schools need to have a lot of business and self-confidence/assertiveness classes. People who are talented and love art pretty much practice all the time and love what they do -- what they can't grasp is how to sell their work without selling out. So many artists are resigned to being starving artists -- and they don't have to be. They just need the proper investment and incubation. Mind you, I am not blaming artists -- it goes deeper than that...

Originally Posted by alexandrakitty

I don't believe in pity -- it's a destructive emotion that's let's a lot people think they are off the hook for ignoring their blessings. Some people will do anything to get it, tho, and I don't know why. It's not love or kindness.

I think some people fear success -- they don't think they deserve it, and for all I know, they might have a point. You look at what too much of it can do to certain people -- they implode because they take it all too seriously. Some extremely successful people are no better off than those who are destitute -- they are both lonely, reviled, unloved with the same anger and addictions, and no one knows who they are really.

Success is important, but it cannot be your sole purpose -- if you are unhappy with yourself before it, you won't be any happier after it. I think that's why so many successful people become even more depressed and miserable -- their magical cure-all doesn't work, and the revelation hits them hard. If you just have to learn to love and accept yourself as you are first, and then the success become meaningful -- and you don't go seeking it to elevate your own worth or look for other people to validate you...

I agree with you. Throughout my childhood, I've wanted to become an animator. A small part of me still wants to, but most of me would rather just be an illustrator since illustrating is a more fluid career. Sometimes, though, I think to myself, "Ya know...even if I didn't even have a career in art, my talent isn't wasted if I still use it and enjoy it." I don't feel that it is bad at all that one wouldn't apply their natural talents for the sake of a successful career because, it's like you said Alex, one just might not be happy in the long run. I remember an ex-art instructor of mine telling me that she would never rely on her art for a living for both personal and practical reasons.

Some people are put into bad situations due to natural causes such as our bad economy and being laid off. I am fortunate to have a mother who is willing to let me live with her rent-free at 22 years old, but I would really love to live independently. She always reminds me that if I really want a job, I'll get it if I get out there and actually try. It may not come today or tomorrow, but the only reason why I would be out of work is because I don't want it badly enough. As much as I hate it when she lectures me, I know she is right. The problem is that there are people who are homeless and who would love nothing more than to get back on their feet, but they were probably never given the advice that I am given. Granted, there are people on the streets who do not want to change. They just prefer to beg or even mug for what they want, but that's a whole different thing in itself.

This is the kind of topic that serves to be a double-edged sword because it isn't an easy one to piece together. Sure, some people do come from bad backgrounds and sometimes, in a psychological sense, you can't blame them because those individuals only know the wrong things that were taught to them. However, as others have mentioned in this conversation, there are also individuals who found success (however you want to measure success) and came from the same harsh background if not worse. So where do we draw the line? That's the fun thing about debate. ;)

Originally Posted by Demoscout

That's the fun thing about debate. ;)

Which is why I thought this'd be a spiffy topic to put up, doncha know. :)

But of course! :lol:

Everything is effected by the will and motivation the person has to drive-on. They can lose the will and/or motivation simply by how others treat them. I recently got out of a maintenance company back into a flight company. I was extremely depressed and lost alot of my drive to do my job. The maint company was really demoralizing and just.. a horrible place to be. It was simply due to the surroundings and knowing there are better places then that. I am still trying to pull myself out of that rut that company put me in for the two months I was working there.

That sucks Bartuc. I have a friend who works at a recycling plant and he can't stand it there, yet he still keeps the job. Oh the stories he's shared...

Anyways, you are right. The matter can be so complicated. There are people out there who want the help and just don't know how to properly get it, there are those who don't really want to be helped, and there are any other possibilities that we're unaware of. As my sister once told me, "We don't know their stories, so we shouldn't just automatically turn them down."

I am not revolted by this people but I also don't feel sorry for them. I mean everyone has a choice in how they want to live their life and what exactly they do in it. So if they choose to do things that hurt them and ultimately ruin the potential they could have had, it is their own fault. I don't really understand why people would want to do such things but to each their own. It doesn't bother me, because I can make my own chose, and that is to not do things like that to pretty much waste my life. However, I have a lot of respect for the people who come back from those paths. The people who decide that they want more from their lives and see that they can achieve it. I think it makes them better people to go through the challenge of bettering themselves. They deserve everything they earn because they worked to get there.

Originally Posted by xRhii

I am not revolted by this people but I also don't feel sorry for them. I mean everyone has a choice in how they want to live their life and what exactly they do in it. So if they choose to do things that hurt them and ultimately ruin the potential they could have had, it is their own fault.

Sometimes people do have psychological problems that cloud and taint their judgement, too. It's just one of those things that can truly go either way. I don't believe in pity, but I try not assume that the person's free will and clarity of perception is functional, either. A lot of people do have problems such as schizophrenia, and some do try to self-medicate themselves, and that's how they get caught in downward spiral...