Herpes
 

I've had Herpes for about 5 months now.
So far I've had 2 out breaks. I was with this guy ((Lets call him Alex)) that knew he had Herpes, and Chlamydia, but he didn't tell me. Whenever I was awake I told him to use a condom, and I always wanted him to use a condom. However he would wake me up with sex, with no condom on. He swore up and down that he was clean.
A couple of days after we moved in together, and he woke me up with sex. I got a rash. I thought, oh it's just something minor right? Well it wasn't. Now Alex and I were in an open relationship. So I still slept with my ex, he was the only one I ever had unprotected sex with, we both got checked every 6 months, so I know neither of us had it.

Well now the rash was really bad and, I put off going to the hospital... Big mistake, I found a free clinic and I had my ex ((Call him Max)), well max took me to the hospital and they looked at the area. It was super painful, I couldn't walk, I was hardly eating, I didn't use the restroom unless I absolutly had to. Even then Alex or Max would take me.

Well they told me I had herpes, they ran all the tests. When I confronted Alex about me having Herpes he came clean about everything. He told me that he didn't think he could give it to me unless he had an outbreak.

I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with all of this...and I know it sounds stupid, but I can't even imagine having sex again with anyone. I feel ugly, and just. I'm not sure how to say it, but... I don't know anyone else with Herpes. Not any more. I broke up with Alex. I still talk to Max, but I couldn't imagine sleeping with him. I mean we sleep together, we just don't get physical.

I just need someone to talk to is all...

That's awful!

But, don't feel ugly. It wasn't you fault you got it.

'Alex' should have told you he had it instead of keeping it quiet.

It was wise of you to break up with him.

And there are medicines you can take and as long as you are careful, you don't have to worry about giving anyone else Herpes. :]

I do feel really ugly.
And I know I shouldn't, because it wasn't my fault. It's hard though, cause I've tried going out with a couple guys and I tell them I have Herpes, and they find some reason to leave, to get out and never talk to me again.

I'm about to start taking Lysin <((Spelling?)), which is supposed to help, but I'm not sure it will. Thank you.

You're welcome.

If those guys would leave you just because you have herpes, then they aren't worth your time.

Just keep looking, you'll find someone who'll love you so much that they wont care.

:3

I know I will. I'm sure that it's Max, because he takes care of me. When I feel really down, he sleeps over with me, and doesn't try and get into my pants.
But I'm scared of being with him, because I've been with him in the past and it was just no good. Now it's just like, he wants me back and I don't know if I can be with him...

Well, all I can say is you need to do what you think is right.

I know that's easier said then done, but right now that's really the only thing you can do.

Depending on what he did last time, then maybe you should give him another chance as he seems to really love you.

He broke up with me to go to college, and he just breaks up with me if I do something wrong. If I flirt with another guy, when he flirts with other chicks. Which you know I don't get jealous, but he does. And he knows I don't have relations with anyone. I'm scared to death to give anyone this...disease that I have.

I understand. You're in a really difficult position right now.

Maybe you should just take a break for a while until you get everything under control.

It seems to me that right now you are in a position where people can take advantage of you if you aren't careful.

I want to take a trip up to Seattle to just clear my brain for a couple of days and think. With out worrying about anything.

I don't want to be taken advantage of again, it happens way too many times.

that Alex guy really did wrong.. >.> you know you could even sue him from not telling you!
I think this guy isn't trustworthy.

I didn't trust him, and I told him I didn't trust him and didn't want him to have relations with me unless he had a condom on.
I told him that, but he woke me up with out having it on.
And I know I should feel ugly, but now I'm feeling much better.
You should hear about this.

Both of you should have gone to a doctor to get tested for STDs before having sex. For him not to tell you is very stupid of him not to even think twice about it.

and beside he is an idiot. Didnt knoe that he could spread herpes to others unless he had and out break. what a load.

First off there is information everywhere about herpes. he could have looked it up on any webs site and found out something about it. not to mention that medication commercial that says that even when not having an outbreak it is still possable to spread herpes to others. So he can play dumb all he wants but the fact of the matter is, is that he wanted sex so bad that he risked your health for it. so yes legally you can sue him because he was also waking you up with sex. that can legally be counted as rape you know. I know it was concentual but still it is rape.

but besides that you should not blame yourself for what happened it is his fault for not telling you. your not ugly for it and it was a good thing that you ended it with him but still he should have had gone to the doctor so he can get his damn facts straight. being a guy it pisses me off that most guys think with their dick instead of their brain.

@marissa12345Yeah, well I told him I wanted him to get tested, but he swore up and down, I still wanted him to get tested though and he had agreed, but the day that we were going to go he had 'something' to do. -.- That should have been my first warning sign.
Starmor I hear that. I think he's just stupid. Cause we always watched tv together and we saw that commercial together, and I would always comment on how sad it would be to have Herpes, and he would just agree. I would have said something like "I know cause I have it"
I actually ended up with my ex, not the bf that gave it to me. I told him to get the hell out of my life before I ended up killing him. I think I am going to look into suing him, cause I know he has some medical papers somewhere that says he knew. Well he has to, other wise how else would he have known. Right?
@Xyana
Oh no, I wanted to have him tested hun.
I told him, we're going to go get tested before I let you stick your weenie in my who-who with out a condom on. I don't let guys just have sex with me with out one on.

I'm not having kids. I'm not able to have kids, but I've been talking to women on a herpes support site, that have had kids. The natural way and none of them have been born blind, or have had herpes. One of my friends, his mom has herpes and he doesn't have it. So it's just one of those things that happens, but not that much any more.

Xyana, was that really necessary? She was playing it safe, and this is not her fault. It's not realistic to tell someone just to cease having sex.

Anyway. I know you feel ugly, but remember that there are others who won't think of you that way. Mike, for instance, seems to really care about you... I doubt it matters to him. You just need more time, I think. Eventually you'll start feeling normal again. You'll have to play it very safe for the rest of your life, but you should be doing that anyway. xD

You don't have to feel ugly. Not because some idiot lied to you. Although telling guys you date that you have herpes right away... well, it doesn't seem like the best idea. I'd keep it on a strictly need-to-know basis. If someone I was interested in walked up to me and announced they had herpes, I'd be a bit freaked out too.

Hahah, Yeah I know. I don't tell them like right off the bat, I tell them after a couple of dates, you know when sex comes up and all that jazz.

Well I'm pretty much just going to stay with Max, he seems to really care about me...

I want to have sex too. I mean I've always been safe when it comes to stuff like this, and I know I should have thrown him out, but I needed the money he brought in too. Now I'm back with my family.

Another part of me wanted to make Max mad because he had hurt me so I knew me being with another man would piss him off. As well as make him want me back. It worked, but with a really big cost to it. An now it was just a really big mistake on my doing, but there's nothing I can do about it now.

Right? So I just live with it, and learn to deal.

Wow, what a jerk. Did you know the Center for Disease Control used to inform people of new cases of venereal diseases when they came up. Imagine learning about having something from a cop showing at your door. But it kept people honest so I guess that was good. I suggest L-Lysine in addition to prescription medication.

Naw, my family is way broke too.
They get by with renters renting out the house. I just moved back home recently, so now I'm helping to pay the rent there too.

Yeah I'm taking Lysine. I don't take anything else because I don't have a prescription, or the money to buy the pills even if I had the prescriptions lol. It's all good though.

Take a trip somewhere by yourself, or maybe with a friend(but not someone who you feel you could eventually hook up with or anything like that...a girlfriend of yours would be a lovely choice or family) and spend time alone. Write about how you are feeling and talk to friends. You need time to figure yourself out right now. Max seems like a decent guy but right now I think the two of you need to remain friends only out of the fact that you are in a very sensitive place right now and any relationship you where to get into might simply be a way of coping and not really a true relationship. I feel you need to first learn to love yourself again before you can love or trust another. You'll live though....it may seem hard to you right now, like the world suddenly fell apart but the sun will shine through eventually...you just need to find it.