My mother needs a date
 

So, my mom has been divorced for about 7 years now. She's come to rely heavily upon us kids to help her emotionally. January of this year she had an anxiety attack and spontaneously moved two states over (I live in the US). There's five kids and she still has 2 living with her, but I, being the oldest, usually took the brunt of her emotional needs. This is something that I can no longer do because she's so far away.

Recently she had another emotional breakdown and it's really hard because all I can do is listen to her over the phone. My mom's the type of person who needs hugs to really feel better. So the topic of boys comes up (like it always does) and she's always so sad about the fact that no one will ask her out. My mom's old fashioned, and so she never asks guys out, which I think is kinda a silly thing at her age.

Anyway. I was thinking about setting her up with a blind date for Christmas. Her birthday is coming up and she's going to visit home for about 4 days. I thought it might be nice to set her up with a date for when she's down here.

My Question to you, LI, is what do you think of this idea, and how could I make it so she doesn't get mad at me for doing it? I'm thinking of posting an ad around the community college to see if I can find someone interesting. Personally, I don't know a lot of people over 40 who are single. Am I going too far? It would be a non committing date, and I'd pay for the expenses (since this is kinda a birthday present). Like I said, mom's old fashioned so I'd have to set it up so he asks her directly to go on the date. Should I have some of her friends go with her? Like a double date?

I don't know your mother, therefore I can't speak for how I think she would react. I do think with her current state you should ask her if she'd be open to the idea about a week before the date.

I think perhaps arranging it with friends too will help. That way there is less nervousness. She can view it more as going out with friends than it being a blind date.

But above all, before you set anything up, talk to her and see if this is something she'd be open to. I know you're doing your best, and your heart has pure intentions, but it may scare your mother or anger her, as you've suggested.

There's nothing to be angry over something that doesn't even happen though, hence why I suggest asking her about it upfront beforehand. :)

It's frustrating that we are living in such a changing society. At this point it almost feels that if there are any old-fashioned men left they would feel just as intimidated to initiate anything. :( The whole idea can be daunting.

I agree that you should talk to her about it before hand. I would also see if she likes the idea of double dates or if she wants it to be just her and the guy. I would say try the Internet to find someone through classifieds, but there's too many weirdos out there in those kinds of ads.

:sweat: Yeah, I wouldn't want to look on the internet, I think. I've thought about it a bit and I've decided I'm not going to do it. Maybe next time she comes down, but she's probably already got everything planned for her trip and that might get in her way.