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Break Up- When you stop loving someone
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Aw dear I'm sorry to hear this,
I've never been in a long distance relationship before but I hope can I help you out a bit. You should not blame yourself for feelings going away, and like you said, there isn't another guy, so it's not like you're betraying him. I agree with that you should tell him as soon as possible, because if not, you will only hurt him more. With that said, when was the last time you saw him? 10 months ago? if so, that's a really long time. Keep in mind that people can change, for better or for worse so maybe you should try to see him face to face, then decide. Every relationship is different, & don't mean to be cheesy, but in the end you have to follow what you're feeling. Best of luck~ & Happy Holidays |
Just tell him you think of him as a friend and no longer as a lover. It will be hard to do but it will work out better for the both of you. =)
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it's very difficult to leave someone, especially if there's nothing specific that broke it up. unfortunately people just grow apart sometimes. the weird thing is you can still love them, but know they aren't right for you or just don't click anymore.
i've thankfully never had to deal with any break ups like that. mine have all been for specific reasons, or my genuine dislike of the person they'd become, something like that. i don't envy you at all. good luck, i hope it goes well. just be honest with him and explain how you're feeling. |
reading this, i'm seriously reminded of my ex girlfriend. the same thing happened with me and her. we lasted almost 3 years though.
tell him. just be nice about it. let him down easy and offer to still be friends. my ex and i are still friends and that helped a lot right after. us breaking up didn't mean that i'd never be able to see or talk to her again. i was really upset at first, bawled just about every night. but she just explained to me that she wanted to still be friends, and that she cared about me, but more like a sister than a girlfriend. so just tell him something like that. it'll take a while for him to get over it. i know it did me anyway, but in time he'll find someone else. |
have you asked him lately how he feels about you hun?
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Rizzpheal:.Thanks for that. I needed to know I wasn't being selfish as I thought something similar. Your words are definitely reassuring.
The last time I saw him was back in July. Quite a while ago. Thank you, and I hope you have a great holiday as well <3 Bartuc:.I'm sure it will. Thank you, Bartuc :hug: Dementes:.That is exactly how I feel right now. It's what made breaking up so hard. I don't hate them at all D8; Shadow:. Unfortunately for him, he still cares for me quite deeply, but I've already told him about how I feel now, so there's really nothing to do. I got a response from him and everything. He didn't react horribly or anything, but he didn't take it well, either. I'm just hoping we can get past the awkwardness of upcoming conversations now. |
The first couple conversations may be difficult but I am sure you will weed through it and it will work itself out. =)
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well ive dealt with a break up recently, with him not loving me anymore because my personality - he cant take no more, after 2.3 years of being together.
he said i changed. *sigh* he wants to stay just friends aswell. well i reacted really badly, it was my first time being heart broken by someone who i really loved for the first time. the only thing u can do is straight up tell him and not let it drag but finish it before anything gets deep since you guys have been together for 10 months already! better hurt now than later. |
I have been and still am in a long distance relationship (1.5 years!). However, I do at least get to see my boyfriend every month or so. My roommate was in a long distance relationship for the better part of a year, he's in Florida and his girlfriend was in Alaska. What happened is very similar to what happened with you, his girlfriend just didn't love him anymore; however, her behavior ended up turning sour and resulting in useless fights that she would pick with him. It is admirable that you are at least being honest and not picking fights so that you have "a justifiable reason" to break up.
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aww platypus, dear! I'm so sorry. I should have seen this sooner. D: breaks my heart.
I've never broken up with anyone but I think, from what you've told us, you did the right thing. Dragging it on when you didn't feel the same any more would have been just like lying. if you need ANYTHING or anyone to talk to, PM me! i'll give you my email if you want it sweetie!<3 |
Well, we finally talked with each other after the break-up. He did well in keeping it as normal as possible, and didn't throw anything in my face or anything. He's great that way.
Picking a fight just for the sake of breaking up would make me feel extremely unintelligent. It's just not my thing. It picks at my values, and I just can't do anything that goes against what I think is right ^^; I'm glad you think I did the right thing <3 Aw, Thank you, Jordan :heart: I'm feeling better now, but I'll be sure to let you know if anything else happens. Thanks for the support :hug: |
I've been in a long distance relationship before-although it wasn't quite as much distance as yours-but it wasn't always easy.
It's understandable that your feelings have changed. It happens, and I can especially understand that when you and he are so far apart. I understand that you feel bad, but you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. You don't feel the same and it's not fair to either of you to pretend that you do. Think about this: there may be someone perfect for him-and you-but he can't get to that person because he is with you. It may hurt him, but if this is the way you feel, you should end the relationship. Best of luck. |
no problem. :D
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I kind of understand you. But from the other perspective, of the guy who still wants to be with the girl, but she's clearly moved on.
I'm pretty positive that she'll never ever be with me again. We dated for a year, and have continued to be best friends for 2 years after that. But I really haven't dated anyone. I've pretty much been waiting for her this whole time, even though she's been dating. She told me she wasn't ready to settle for just one person, so I understood. I'm really just living in denial. I have MANY reasons why I know she'll never ever go back with me. And I think the only way to get over my feelings for her is to date someone else. But I have no desire to. So I've just been single. It's pretty horrible, because I really do believe I love her, but we're great friends. I feel like I'm almost a burden on her life, with my constant feelings. I don't know. I guess a tip would be, tell him the straight truth. Don't lead him on if you don't want him. If you want to be friends afterwards, then its up to him to decide if he can handle that friendship. Just spit it out. |
Aww... Dx... I am sorry for the way things happened... But some things are unavoidable...
He will understand, you seem to still care for his emotions, just please don't beat yourself up over this, things like this happen and in the end it will be happier for both you and him... There is someone for everyone... and sometimes that someone is a little harder to find than you would really want. I hope it all ends out alright for ya, here I am rooting for you. If you need to talk go ahead and pm me... or add me on msn if you wish... but anyway... i'm here for ya^^ |
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