I'm feeling really down right now, and I'm kind of scared because I don't usually feel this bad.

So our family is participating in this sort of homestay program, and this girl from Korea came to stay at our house. There's nohing wrong with her, but after 5 days she's pretty much gotten down where everything is in our house. If she's hungry she'll get things from the fridge to eat and stuff like that.

So today we had dinner, as usual, and my dad is just saying things like "Eat more! are you SURE you dont want to eat more? Here I'll just give you some" and makign her eat all this stuff when she's clearly very full. So incase this poor girl explodes I just say to my dad calmly "Dad, can you please stop, she's full right now, and If she wants more she'll get some."
All he gives me is that ":stare:" look and puts the things down.
So later on, we finish dinner and I go to pour a cup of water, she also pours a cup of water by herself.
So all my dad does is runs and brings a whole bunch of bottled water and goes "Did you know the water was here? Do you? Here have some incase you get thirsty"
Then shoves it at her.My mom is doing one of those akward nervous laughs to lighten the mood but I swear I saw sparks fly between me and my dad.
All I manage to say it "Dad, please. She already knows where everything is, if she needs somethign she'll let us know or get it herself. You dont have to worry aobut her, shes fine. I already showed her everything"

So he gives me the death glare and I just go upstairs.
5 minutes later he comes stomping up the stares and like gives me this huge lecture on how shes a guest and it our duty to baby her and everything and offer her things. And I just argue back that she knows where everything is, and that hes FORCING her to eat more, or do things she doesn't really want to do.

So he just starts YELLING about how I'm making him look bad and everything, and I better improe my attidtude or I'll be fired at work later on. So heres how it went form there;

"IM FREAKING 14 DAD. 14. IM NT EVEN IN THE SECOND YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL AND YOUR TALKING ABOUT ME GETTING FIRED"
"YOURE BROTHER DID SO MUCH BY THE TIME HE WAS 14. WHY CANT YOU BE LIKE HIM"

And that was just seriously it. I busted into tears right after he left, and to save HIM face I tried to hid it so the homestay girl wouldnt hear.

I'm just so sick of this. I'v heard everythign about how its 'for your own good' that my parents push and push me in everything. They can always find something wrong about me, i feel like im jsut one big freaking mistake. I'm a slightly above average student, but obviously that complete crap compared to my Cross country running, chess champion, harvard pre-med graduate, valecdictorian and STILL not socially stupid brother. I can't even hate them, all I feel like is killing myself so I can win something like the Darwin award and spare the future gene pool.

Someone please help me.

*pats on head* Having an over achieving sibling can make you feel pretty down. I would just remind your father that you are not your brother and should try not to confuse the two, you are you and have your strong points. They just are a bit different, you seem to be a very good home stay sister =^.^=

My trick with my mother was to politely remind her I could be pregnant, addicted to this or that with a whole string of boys and a rap sheet, so she should be over joyed that she had raised a well mannered average daughter. And then remind her of the vast amount of money she spent on her over achieving daughter, not to mention the time, reticles(you just say nutcracker now and she cringes >.>; Then again we all do...), and last minute this and that she would have to put up with times two if I was that way. Usually ended our arguments.

As for feeling down it comes with being young and moody, it is when they turn to wanting to hurt your self or others that they are a problem. Coping with them, by doing things you enjoy and spending time de-stressing. And since you have a host student mayhap just go out with her, and find some thing fun to do.

As for the exchange student, you might want to point out the fact that she is a home stay student. The whole point is to live with a family and not to be a house guest. That just gets awkward fast...I can vouch for that one. I would sit down with him and your mum, at a time hopefully she is out of the house in case it gets to the yelling point >>; and just calmly say back off, and if he really wants her to feel welcome to ask her about her day. I had a better time with my family when I was abroad when they asked me about my day or would include me in the conversation.

There are some people that you can never please, no matter how hard you try and or how badly you want to. My mother is like that. No matter how your family treats you, you just have to remember that you are the only "you" they have. Your brother may be incredible and amazing, but you two are completely different people. You are special in your own ways, and if all your parents value is achievement, they are going to miss out on those qualities that make you unique. If their pushing is hurting you, it is obviously not for your own good, which you might try pointing out to them. If they don't listen to you, find someone who will listen. Ask if you can get some counseling or something.

One thing to remember is that you did nothing wrong. You were the one who acted like an adult, and your father acted in a childish manner. You saw what the girl really needed and spoke up for her, which means she's probably very appreciative. While it might not help much right now, another thing to remember is that you won't always live with them. You'll get to the point in your life where you are the one in control, the one with the ability to choose what to do and what not to do.

Suicide is a bad route to take. From what I can tell, you have a good heart, and there aren't enough good hearts in the world. It's true that your parents have priorities for you, but what about what you want to do in life? Don't let their idiocy ruin your chance for a wonderful life. Even if you don't turn out exactly like your pristine brother, you can still do amazing things with the talents you have.

I completely agree with kerryfox and Nocere about the parents thing. You're clearly a really great and sensitive person and if they can't see that, it's their problem, not yours.

As far as the exchange student goes, have you talked to her and know for sure that she is uncomfortable because your dad is trying too hard? I definitely agree that it could potentially make someone uncomfortable, but if I were her I think I'd be more uncomfortable about my host family arguing, especially if it was about me. It puts her in a really awkward situation when someone says "here have some bottled water" and another person says "she doesn't want bottled water" because then she has to choose sides.

Try not to feel too upset about your dad babying her. I guarantee it has nothing to do with her in particular, he's probably just nervous about having an exchange student and is overcompensating by trying too hard to make her comfortable. If you were the exchange student, he'd do the same for you.

Awww, that sucks! It sounds like you need a hug! *hugs Moofin*

sounds like your dad has a crush on your houseguest to me.

*hugs Moofin*
You know, I also have an older brother who is much smarter, funnier, and better at things in general than I am, and it makes me feel uncomfortable with my dad, who prioritizes grades and good impressions above everything. Because of this, I felt so bad about myself that I just didn't know what to do with myself anymore, and thought I wasn't good at anything, so some time ago, I got tested on my personality, traits, good and bad points, you name it. It came out that I WAS good at things, and so is everyone else. So even if you don't stand out in academics, maybe you're really good at sports, or are really creative!

I don't know exactly what kind of person you are, or what you're good and bad at, but I can tell you are not lazy or bad or anything that would give your father the right to yell at you like that. You should know above all things that you are your own person and should never let others belittle you, because maybe you can't do things they can, but hey; it's the other way around, too.

I don't know how your mum thinks about how your father acts, but maybe you can talk it over with her, because she's the one who knows you, your father, and the situation. After that, you could try to talk it over with your dad. You and your brother are two different people, and I think he should realize that.

Not sure if this will help you, but maybe it gives you something to think about.