Hallo again,

Over the last couple of weeks, two of my friends have been missing from our weekly hanging out with the rest of our group (for this, we'll call them B and E). We kinda figured it was fine because 1) they've just suddenly disappeared on us before and 2) they had just gotten together so it was natural just to spend time together.

Find out yesterday that the reason we haven't seen them is because they're pissed off at us over our apparently "lack of empathy". B apparently has been in the hospital and no one called to check up on her or E. So they're upset. The way they said they let everyone know is that "well, I posted a bulletin on Myspace about it! You should have read it!"

...

Here is where I get upset. I can understand if I ignored your call or a text. But Myspace? Especially when everyone doesn't log onto it on a regular basis or, for my part, I only check messages, blog subscriptions and comments? That's why I'm upset.

So there it is, should I be upset with them because of this or should I not?

Well, if you're good friends...it is an overreaction on their part to be upset because you didn't read their Myspace page, but I'd forgive one of my close friends if they got mad at me for that. In fact, I'd apologize and explain why I didn't check in on them and that I didn't see the bulletin.

Sometimes friends overreact for silly things. My friends have done it too me and I've done it to them, the only way to fix it is to talk things over.

If you don't want to fix it because the friendship doesn't mean that much too you, don't apologize. Being really upset at them for it is kind of an overreaction too though I think.

Normally...I would agree with you. I would apologize and try and make everything better. But the reason that I won't is 1) this isn't the first time they've done this and 2) they've basically told everyone to 'go screw yourself because you're evil horrible bastards.' Not just me but my boyfriend, my best friend...basically our entire group of friends.

As I see it, that's an overeaction on THEIR part :stare:.
But it may be best to let it cool off, if they don't want to talk at all...

Hmm, whilst it's sad that they've been in hospital, they seem to be in dire need of learning that the world doesn't revolve around them, they sound extremely attention-seeking to me.

I wouldn't let it bother you, "friends" like that can be a real pain in the ass. It's not up to you the track them down or hunt the internet for them if you haven't seen them for a while. I take it they just posted on MySpace and sat back and waited for the sympathy to flood in...

Well if they're being ridiculous enough to call you names over it and they do this kind of thing often, maybe it's best to move on. So you might want to just ignore them rather than being angry at them.

I'm inclined to agree with jelly, they sound like they're being self centered. Of course, they don't realize that they're being that way which is why they're getting so angry over stupid stuff...but that doesn't stop it from being annoying. Hopefully they'll grow out of it.

I see that as overreacting on their part. How were you supposed to know, and who logs into myspace daily anyway? >_>; *hasn't been on there in forever and didn't even want an account, her sisters talked her into it* She could have texted you and told you. I'm sure you would have gone to visit.

They should get over themselves and stop looking for someone to sympathise with them. So yes, your anger is justified. Theirs, however, is not.

I'm generally straight forward with my friend about what I do and do not do. Like you not paying attention to bulletins-do they know that? If they do then they are being childish for being mad that you didn't see a bulletin they knew you wouldn't look at. If they didn't know, then you should explain to them that you don't pay attention to bulletins.

I'm not sure who is over-reacting, or if anyone is over-reacting at all. It seems like one big lack of communication to me. They're mad that people didn't know when they didn't really tell anyone-I'm sorry, myspace is not an acceptable form of communication when something is seriously important.
Then they got mad at you and your friends and didn't even tell you about it.

It seems that people are just not discussing their issues and are just being needlessly mad at eachother for things that aren't their fault.

It sounds like they're a couple of drama queens to me.

@ havensmaster: The reason that they're justifying that I would have read my myspace bulletins was, because about a year ago, they were robbed at work and posted bulletins saying "OMG WE WERE ROBBED!!! (not a chain letter)".

However, they also know at the time, I had a grand total of 30 friends on myspace, it was my main place to hang out and that I wasn't working at the time. Now, I have exactly 100 friends, I spend most of my time between Gaia and Menewsha, have TOLD them that I only check messages and blogs when I have a notification for them and work a full time job. That, and now going back to find any bulletins made by them and they currently, the titles are, because I could only find three, the following:
">.<"
"You know..."
"[insert Russian here]"

Knowing in the past when I did see bulletins, often these were the kind of titles that lead to chain letters. So I ignored them. Even if I did see them, I still probably would have done so because it triggers my "chain letter spam".

@ jellysundae, Yume` & aoi midori - I'm beginning to agree with you on the attention seeking/drama whoring thing.

@juniper_silver - That's very true. I have a million things I can say about them but...it's not really worth it right now you know?

Your anger is extremely valid. They are the stupid ones who are over reacting.

Well there you go. You have told them before that you do not check bulletins so they cannot be mad that you didn't get information that they put out ONLY in a bulletin.
And it doesn't matter why you do or don't check them. It's your preference and if you don't want to check them then you don't have to. You even went so far as to tell them that you don't so it's their bad and not yours because they knew. That's almost the equivalent of something like them getting mad at you for not calling them, even though they never gave you their number. They are mad that you didn't respond to information that they didn't give you...get it?

I also think they are just being all dramatic. Really, if they were honestly just upset, wouldn't they have just come to you and your friends and asked why no one acknowledged them? The only reason to stay away from everyone like that is to be dramatic and not have to actually address the issue.

So yes, your anger is very valid. You didn't do anything wrong and you haven't failed them in any way.

I never check the bulletins anymore on myspace because they are always filled with stupid chain letters or some random stupid topic. Now if they had posted a bulletin I would have read it and tried to get ahold of them. We aren't expected to check everything for our friends Tobira. If it had been really serious they would have gotten ahold of one of us, and then the word would have spread. Since they weren't getting ahold of us properly they shouldn't have expected us to suddenly flood their message box or call them all at once.