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Aggrivating comments
Well, there's a few kids at school who I'm in an art class with. As a class, we've been working on painting a mural on one of the hallway walls. I go out to paint with a group of about four other people, typically. It consists of three boys and one girl. The guys keep making nasty comments to each other, and joking about things that are racist or just downright mean to other people. Occasionally they call me a certain name, I won't say it, since it's based off my real name, but I don't mind it too much. It' just a joke, after all.
However, the thing that really gets on my nerves is how disgusting some of their comments are. They'll ask me disgusting things sometimes, and occasionally make a joking perverted comment about me to someone else. I'm not sure if this is normal, should I ignore them, or is there something I can do? I really don't want to hurt their feelings, though, and I have a bit of trouble conveying my thoughts to others. I'm afraid if I say something to them, they'll get angry at me and start spreading more rumors about me than there already are in my school. |
It's completely normal, sadly. They are teenage boys, this is what teenage boys do...
the best thing to do is join in with them. Become one of the "lads" and they'll think you're cool and stop picking on you, or they'll just do it in a less offensive way. But reporting them won't get you anywhere, you've just got to suck it up, basically. They're trying to get a reaction from you, that's all, it's how packs of juvenile males behave. Your main problem is that it's not something that many people learn to be able to deal with in a way that will shut the boys up, not until they get a lot older. Don't ignore them, or they'll just escalate because they know you're ignoring them so they'll know it's getting to you. I'm not sure what I can say to help you to deal with them you see. I know I could knock them flat with a few well chosen words, but then I have a lot of years life experience to fall back on. Maybe just turn to them, raise an eyebrow and coolly ask, "you ladies going to spend all day trying to get a rise out of me, or are we going to get some painting done here?" That's the kind of attitude that you need with them. |
Ah, thanks for the advice. I'll try and do it, not sure how it'll work out, but I'll try. Maybe then they'll stop bothering me so much. ^^ Your suggestions are very helpful, so I thank you for them. I just hope that it doesn't provoke them further. Thankies~ (: |
Well honestly it hard to tell with boys of that age, they're such jerks xD; Some of them grow up eventually though...
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Ah, that is true. I sure hope they grow out of it...
Ugh, I don't want my little brother to become a teenager... urk... it's going to be troublesome when he does. >.< |
just joke with them and they'll stop. Boys pick on people to get reactions out of them. So they'll keep doing it if they know you're offended or annoyed by it, because they're TRYING to get you to be annoyed.
So just join in the conversation and find new things to talk to them about. |
Thankies, Liath. Any suggestions are very much appreciated. I'll try and do that as well, then. Perhaps that will help. Thanks a lot for your suggestion. ^^
All the suggestions so far have been very helpful, thanks to you both. :3 Other suggestions are appreciated as well. I guess I shouldn't have lost my temper and scolded them today. One of them spilled water, so I got ticked and snapped at him, telling him to clean it up. The other girl and I wound up doing most of the cleaning, though. Sigh~ =.= |
xD; I used to deal with boys like that when I was younger.
What I simply did was stand my ground and give them a piece of my mind. I'm not one to mess with and don't piss me off or we'll get into bad terms. Though I don't think being TOO aggressive would work. Just assert yourself and make them know you don't want things as such. There are many ways to do it. Being one of the lads is one of them. ^^; Another would be yes... To scold them. xD; I don't know how you do it, but when people do things on the guise of 'getting a reaction' it's because they're testing you. But to me, it means that I'm not well respected enough that I have to be tested if I'm worth their respect. : / And frankly? I don't feel the need to show that to people but if I do, I can get nasty. XDDD; But yes... Respect isn't given, it's earned. Especially on this instance. =w= |
Thankies, Whitebeast. Testing me? For what?
Humm... that is a rather good point. I just wonder if I'm not earning respect from them, or they're not earning respect from me. I suppose I'll try and be straightforward about it. Maybe then they'll quit joking about everything I say. >.< |
Yeah, I sit with a bunch of boys at lunch. They tend to be a bit perverted, but i'm used to it. But I can hit them, lightly, or yell at them and they'll normally stop. For a little while at least.
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Ohs... Humm... I wonder if that would work with these dudes. I think they'd be too shocked if I even so much as poked them... Sigh~
Rather useful advice! ^^ Thankies~ |
Testing if you're getting respect.
Like the caliber of your person. That's what I mean. xD |
You should know that if someone says a perverted or sugestive comment to you, it is legaly consiterd sexual harrassment. I have been in this kind of situation multiple times, and the best thing you can do is report it to a teacher.
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Ah, okies Whitebeast. Sorry, Kidalanna can be a little slow at times. >.<
Well, I suppose reporting it to the teacher could help, Majokko Honey-chan. Thankies for the advice. ^^ |
boys can be jerks its true. I personally would knock them upside the head, but in this day and age you would get in trouble for that. So i would just be smart and think of come backs that leave their mouths hanging open and you smiling.
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That is a good point, Transcendence. I'd probably be expelled or something if I hit them. =.=
The staff at my school is uber sensitive about stuff like that. So, then, I guess I'll try and think of come-backs. Thanks. (: |
I remember getting mad at a guy and I ended up splashing water on him. xD He stopped bugging me then after.
Or this other pack of em who respected me because it turned out they could actually talk to me about mecha and their other interests. o w o How long do you have to be with them anyway? |
That sounds rather amusing. ^^
I have to be with them until I finish my portion of the mural, which is to be soon, hopefully. However, I'm stuck in the same class as them until about May 22nd. >.< |
A group of my friends are like that.
They seem really rude and obnoxious toward each other and others that annoy them ... and the occasional person they don't mean to be rude to. They're really nice though, once you get to know them. If your group of rude and obnoxious guys are like mine then simply telling them that it bothers you will work. (In a nice way of course, otherwise you're spurring them on. It is probably a game to them after all.) They may make a rude comment but after that it should be fine if you stand your ground about it. If they don't stop then either get someone else involved to help you/back you up (such as a friend or teacher or a school councilor). |
Go and talk to a school counselor about it. They will tell you what you need to do. And if it's serious enough they will get talked to and warned to quit it. If they don't the school will take action. You should tell. If they spread rumors they will only get into more trouble. And plus your true friends won't listen to what they say about you, they know the truth. So don't be afraid to tell. If it's hurting your self esteem do something about it. Words do hurt people, you can only ignore it for so long.
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@ Massage:
Okie, then, I suppose I'll just go and tell them, then. Maybe they'll stop then. Thanks ^^ @ItsKissten: That probably would work, seeing as the school counselor usually understands such things. Thanks for the advice. (: |
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