I'm not kidding. Ever since the begining of this school year, my friends have been causing me so much stress. Especially within the last 3 months..

Relationship Status (as of the begining):
T and M (I'm just using letters for their names) are a couple. M and R are an ex-couple.

The Story:
Basically, T (male) started to get suspicious of M (female) because she had been going over to R's (male) house. So, T starts to ignore all of his friends because he's jealous. M became a miserable wreak, and decided that, because T was ignoring her, she should distract herself. And how does she do this? She goes to R's house even more, which made T ignore everyone more. Now, the only people attempting to get T to talk to us again was me, L and H (all female). And when we failed the first time, M got even more upset, and went to R's house even more. We got T to start talking when I gave him a cookie and L gave him a spork (he has ADHD and is amused my simple things). M still kept going to R's house. T started to talk to everyone again and we thought our problems were pretty much over. But, I realised that T had a point in being jealous, because who knows what R and M do at R's house. So, whenever I would talk to M online, she would be at R's house and I would end up yelling at her because she would ruin her relationship with T. She ignored what I had said. Then, a few weeks later, L tells me that M told her that she is starting to get feelings for R again. I was shocked. And so, I would explode even more at her when she would go to his house. And this past friday, everything seemed to happen at once. It was the last offical day of school, and during science class, I was talking to M about random stuff, and T's name happened to come up. Then, M told me that she had to do something with T. I started freaking out in my head and during lunch, I told L and H that M was planning on breaking up with T to be with R. R broke up with her at the begining of the year, because he was bored with her. I was telling L and H that he would probably do it again. And so, I decided, since my last class of the day is with T, I could distract him, let him have a good time, and make him avoid M, without saying anything about the situation. It all went well, and I got on my bus to leave the school. Then, as the buses started to pull away, I saw M, who was going to walk home with R, talking to T, and T looked upset. I cried for about 2 hours because I failed with them staying together. A bunch of other, not as important, stuff happened and now, M is now with R, T is avoiding M and R, and just a few minutes ago, at 11:00 at night, M told me online (and at R's house) that she wanted to sleep over at his house. I freakin' flipped out on her.

And here we are now.
Me mad at 2 of my friends, who are probably mad at me.
I need advice.
Please. Now.
~Nesu~

First, I have to ask: Why the hell are you trying to administrate their relationships?!

So what if M got bored of T and is now doing shady things with R? I know you're her friend and everything, but you've got to understand you're not her mom. Let her fail, let her fall and let her learn, by herself. She clearly doesn't want your help.

I'm sorry if this comes as flipping out on you or treating you like you're immature or anything, but I have to say that the part where you get in that private circle and try to manipulate their decisions was wrong. As I said before, it's good that you care, but not to act like their mom. And even her mom shouldn't dictate who M dates.

So, advice: Do not get into M's relationships. Advicing her about who she dates is okay. Dictating her and flipping out not. T must be feeling bad, he's the one you should be paying your attention to. Talk with him in person, but remember you've got to ask first if he wants to talk about it yet or not, as it could result in another fight. Good luck with that drama x_x

I think T may need a hug. And if they break up you can't stop them. But just tell T not to worry. It sounds like high school. It happens to everyone in high school.

If he's all depressed, try having everyone over, except M and R, for a movie party. Hang out, have fun, try to make life a bit better for him and keep his mind off it.

As for your stress, try chamomile or peppermint tea. And get regular sleep.

T needs a hug, yes.
Highscool brings drama like that, I always just suck it up and go through it. It'll be over soon.

what happens, happens and if M is stupid enough to try to be in that relationship again let her. If she gets her heart broken again its something that she has to learn on her own.

I have to agree with Kah

Really this has nothing to do with you, nor can you try to manipulate what they are doing. If you have such a huge problem with it, stop associating with M. Or stay out of it, it is their relationship and that is private

I hate to say it... but just think of how pleasant your life (and everyone else's) would be, if schools were segregated by gender. Your girl friends wouldn't be talking to you about this stuff because there would be no boys around to be obsessed with 24/7, instead of what people are actually SUPPOSED to be thinking about in school... like all of that stuff that stranger in the front keeps scrawling on that big board. And there wouldn't BE any guys in the story, because they'd be at that other school.

I saw a news story once about a girls school that was getting flack for BEING a girls school... but basically the girls who went to it said it was a LOT better, because all of that stuff just wasn't an issue anymore, or at least not nearly as much, so they could actually focus on what it was they were supposed to be thinking about.

I think it's sad people made it this big "gender war" issue to have separate schooling, because it was meant precisely to avoid this kind of drama when people need to have their minds clear to focus on the stuff that will get them through life. Yeah, the education should be equal in both schools, but... having separate schools would unquestionably do away with about 99% of this drama that is killing you, and probably most of the people who have the misfortune to be in public schools.

Uniforms too. It'd be nice not to have to worry about what the other people are wearing. Especially for those who can't afford $200 shoes and what not. And if people had only their brains to show off, they might get into some much more productive competition... like who KNOWS more.

I'm not even saying guys and girls should never hang out. But stuff like this just makes life miserable for everyone involved. How is that good? And more importantly, what is happening to the quality of education, when principals are having to rig test scores because the students can no longer cut it? Or is the reason they can no longer cut it, is because they're busy thinking about all kinds of other things instead?

Yorihiko, since at this school I used to go there were no guys, my classmates would... take pictures of them kissing each other, slapping each other butts, and would do stuff they would never do in front of guys. Don't think there was no drama either. This drama queen I had the misfortune to be in the same class with managed to get 6th graders angry enough to throw stuff at her from the second floor.

And my uniforms go up to $200, doesn't help that I have to lock my bag to keep anyone from stealing it. I've lost count of sweaters... ;__;


It's funny how more well-behaved the girls are at both-gender schools xD


*cough* Now, on your issue: Have you talked with T yet? Let's hope he hasn't gone back to how he was at the beggining of your post :/

Discipline and morality are different issues. But objectively speaking, less exposure to the temptation can only reduce it. (At least 9 times out of 10, lets say.)

Or it could feed their curiosity. It all depends on their point of view.

Seems like you're taking their relationship problems into your own hands and you're dealing with the stress of it because its not turning out the way you want it to be.

So, just lay off their problems, and deal with your own PERSONAL problems. Since it involves the three of them, let THEM deal with it. Who dates who should not affect your personal life at all, and if it does, that's your problem.

You're subconsciously stressing yourself out with measly things. Just let them deal things out and let it go its course, you can't sit there and tell them who they can and cannot date. Just be friends with both M and T and support M in her decisions unless she's REALLY doing something stupid.

And if M likes R so much then it's only fair for her to be true to her feelings and break up with T to be with R. It would be unfair if she stayed with T and played around with R behind T's back.

I have no advice, i just feel sorry for you... =( good luck

If you yell at m for doing things that she wants to then she'll be mad at you.

If M doesn't want to be with T then you're doing them a disservice by trying to make the stay together against their wills. As I'm sure t doesn't want to be with a girl who doesn't want him.

the more you try to interfere or change the course of things the more unhappy you'll be when it doesn't work out. People have free will and even though we may not like it and it may bother us a lot sometimes even people who we like do really stupid things. And if they won't listen to your warnings not to do those things then you have to let them make mistakes and be there with hugs after they screw it up.

True knowledge can only come from one's own soul. Without that true knowledge, happiness can not come. If the coming of that knowledge is obstructed, there will be only grief. Be a carrier of happiness, and let only truth prevail in every soul. Then, you too will find happiness.

Also, if all else fails, Get T some yuri manga and hit M over the head with a paddle or something.
My friend Dusk told me to post that. I also have advice from Alice who says to get the group together to watch gorey horror movies then get someone to go into M's room dressed as pyramid head. It won't help any but it would be fun to watch.

I, personally, don't advocate violence, but it's very therapeutic to imagine hitting someone who is causing problems.