I have this friend. He's a great guy, though a little oversensitive and sometimes a bit too nice. I have a crush on him, but he doesn't know about it. He has a girlfriend.

That's where the issue comes in. My personal interest aside, I really don't think she treats him right. Granted, my opinion is rather biased, but still. I don't feel like going into it, but she kind of disregards his feelings, and being the super sensitive guy he is, he gets upset. And then everything's all sunshine and rainbows a day later. I honestly don't know if she knows she hurts him. He's completely in love with her. I don't know if he blocks out the times that everything isn't so perfect or what, but he's completely blinded. But, crush on him or not, I don't like seeing him get hurt. I don't know what to do. I can't really say anything to him since I'm a girl and all. I don't want to meddle in what isn't my business, but at the same time, I can't watch this. He's going to get his heart broken, big time, and that's something I just don't want to see.

Wwell, you can go the route of comforting him and letting him find out by himself. That's probably the safest route for you. His heart will be broken, but he's old enough he can handle that. He'll know your still his friend too.

You could also tell him that you're worried about how she's treating him. He may take offense because this is his girlfriend. But eventually he'll see your right. However, he may be hurt in the short run. All you need to say is you care for him because he's your friend, and you don't need to bring up your feelings at this time.

Please feel free to take or disregard this as you wish.

Fairywaif has a point. Tell him your worried about him. If she really is hurting him, and he sees you actually caring it may bring him to his senses. Sometimes the best thing you can do for a person is let them know you care. Even just as friends, knowing there is someone out there to turn to when things get rough is an amazing feeling. I am in a similar situation with a friend of my own. He's...a dunce but a good guy.

Yah I'm kind of agreeing with these two in the thought you'll have to let him crash and burn for himself. If you try to jump in the middle of it chances are you'll end up hurting your relationship with him. Sometimes the only way to learn is the hard way. :(

Thanks guys:) You all make a good point. I mean, no matter what I say or do he's gonna wind up getting hurt at one point or another. As much as I don't want to see him have his heart broken, it really isn't my place to meddle in his (or anyone else's) life.

I mean if he asks for your opinion I would honestly give it to him, but otherwise let him call the shots. If you try to rush in there and 'save' him I don't see it doing a bit of good for either of you in the relationship. Perhaps just being there for him he'll realize perhaps there's something more...if not wait until he breaks up. ;)

Happiness is everything. The purpose of today is to be happy. If that is not possible, the next most important thing to do is be sure that happiness will be in the future, as near as possible. If his happiness is false, it will lead to misery. The happiness must be true or not at all. His happiness is a treasure, that must not be protected and polished so that it shines. If he can not protect it, someone must.

But be warned, that if the happiness is true, and it is maimed, the one at fault will pay in their own happiness.

Be wary and true.

A friend and I just noticed he doesn't really talk to anyone when things are going well with his girlfriend. I don't think that's healthy?

Should i like put a note in his mailbox or something and not sign it? No that's creepy. I should mind my own business.

Clinginess. A common trait of those in love. Not necessarily unhealthy to that person, but possibly unhealthy to friendships of that person. I wouldn't worry too much.

I'm not sure clingyness is the right word. More like disappearing off the face of the earth and pushing everyone else away. What's gonna happen when they inevitably break up? I mean they're 16 for god's sake!

Yep, it's clinginess. That's what happens. And when the break up, he'll magically reappear again. Trust me, I know this sort of thing.

Alright, if you say so. I just don't know if he'll have anything to come back to. He never had too many friends to begin with. From past experiences, I know that if I'm rather distant for a while, when I decide to be social again, it's not the same, because people only wait for so long. I don't know, I can't escape this horrible feeling I have about him and I'm not sure why. It isn't my problem, it isn't my business, and I should be staying the fuck out of it.

Yes, that's the biggest problem with clinginess. I understand how you feel, but he is your friend, correct? If he is becoming distant from you, then it most certainly IS your business. Do what you feel is right, examine the risks, and act intelligently, balancing emotion and logic.

I disagree with fairywaif. If you let him find out on his own, and he finds out you knew all along, no matter what you say it will damage your friendship irreparably.

You should most definitely tell him what you think. Be sure to use examples of things you've seen. If he gets mad, then fine, but when he finds out on his own he has no right to be mad at you any longer.

Also, you could try talking to the girl, explaining that as his friend you don't feel she's treating him right. If she calls you out on your feelings, and she probably will, say something along the lines of 'that's why i want you to treat him right.' or something similar to get your point across.

and if worst comes to it, and it may, just try to remind him you were his friend and only trying to help, but if he doesn't want it you'll gladly leave him to his own decisions.

About him disappearing when him and his girlfriend are doing well - it happens. A good friend lets him get on with his life but lets him know he's there for him when he's ready. Eventually you'll grow up and get married, have kids of your own and then that's when it really feels like they've fallen off the earth...or at least the social radar.

Now there is something to be said of maintaining a healthy balance. You do need your support group in case things fall through, but he'll find out once things break up between them that he can't let the relationship be his end-all and be-all. It's one of those things best left to learn the hard way for most. How else do you explain it? When someone falls head over heels for someone they're not going to listen to reality...especially if it isn't what they want to hear. :gonk:

Oh gosh....
I remember when I was talking to this one guy.
I know I sound terrible, but I was never all that nice to him.
Called him names/insulted him on things he couldn't change (like the shape of his head, lol, it was as flat as a table top) but he was so freakin' smitten with me.
I don't know why, but I guess some guys like it when the girls they like, are mean to them.
That may or may not be how your crush is, I don't know.
But whatever it is, wait on it. If he's in a relationship, he wanted to/wants to be there. If you try to talk(romantically) to him anyways, and they break up, you will be the girl who breaks up happy couples(regardless of how happy they actually are).

Even though it may not be pretty, it may be something he has to go through.

I've seen tons of relationships like that, though it's usually the girl on the recieving end.

I once gave advice to someone a couple of years ago who went to my school who was in that similar situation. A week later they broke it off and she couldn't have been happier :p

Shtill, I think it's something you should let this guy experience first hand. As difficult as it may be to watch, the most you can do is stand by him and support him. Wisdom comes from experience, and by overcoming a difficult relationship you grow stronger over time.

As for having a crush on him, once he starts to feel better try and give it a go, though that might take a while if things turn bad :p

Relationships are always tough~ I hope he doesn't get hurt x.x

Maybe if you treat him like she does he would have a crush on you instead.