Alright, I'm an extremely jealous person. I don't know what to do about it, 'cause I really am getting sick of it. >.<

As soon as I meet somebody, I start judging them. =/ Like, what do their clothes look like? Is their hair better than mine? Are their eyes prettier? How do they talk? Stuff like that.

I always compare people to myself and it only ends with a low self esteem. My boyfriend calls me pretty and beautiful, yet all the girls I meet are prettier than me or have better hair or longer legs or are more intelligent.

Is there a way to get over this? Do you guys compare yourself to everyone you meet? I'll meet my boyfriend's "friends who are girls" and get jealous of them! Like, I never show it or tell him. But he still talks to this one ex of his, and I just get so quiet when she's around. >.< Like I wanna get out of their way 'cause I know she's better than me and more in his league than I am.

When I go shopping with my friends and that I pretend that I'm comfortable with myself and everything, but inside I'm remembering all the things I want to change and just wishing I were different. I get positive things said about me all the time. Like "oh, I love your hair" or "you look great in that dress," but I always feel like people are lying or faking it.

I just wish I could stop secretly judging others and be happy with myself. I know the whole "you have to love yourself before you love anyone else" thing, but I don't know how! I try to focus on the positive things that I like about myself, but then I'll see another girl with even bigger eyes or better hair! And then I'm back to feeling horrible about myself and trying to find things that are wrong with her.

I hate when I have boyfriends who are jealous, so I've never told anyone about this before. How jealous a person I am....I think it's weird. I've never known anyone as judging as me, I probably sound worse than those girls on "Mean Girls." xD

But it's how I feel, and I just want to change. =/ Does anyone know how I can do that? >.< Or have you felt this way before? o.o If you have, how do you cope with it? >.< It's DRIVING ME INSANE. =(

I think you are probably giving it more thought than it needs, perhaps.

The only reason you could possibly be comparing yourself so much to every person is because you somehow feel disatisfied with yourself. Solution? Learn to like yourself a little bit more. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE has something unique.

Why on earth would someone bother complimenting you if they didn`t mean it? Could EVERY person who bothers to compliment you possibly be a liar/insincere?

A lot of it I am sure can be chalked up to age. The older we get, the less self-conscious we get as a whole, I believe. (Eventually I am sure you'll be VERY comfortable in your own skin. Chin up!)

:)

Jess, you'll have to learn that no matter how good you are at something, there will be around a couple of million who are better. Do people care? No, because they know even then they're better than another couple million. And you know why? Because one person holds a million features, dear. The issue here is that you see that girl with the prettier eyes, but you fail to notice you have better smile/legs/dress sense/analitic capacity/etc etc etc! You're not only putting too much thought into that, you're noticing what you shouldn't.

You have to accept these other people are a whole different world. I get good grades but fail at social interaction. Some other people are way better at social interaction but epicly fail on the intelligence department. Who is better?

Since jealousy has become an habit to you, the easier solution I can suggest is pointing it to another direction. Instead of aiming that jeaslousy to a negative [critizicing yourself negatively and lowering your self-steem], aim it towards a positive [think on if it's something you can improve and brainstorm how-to's]. Be constructive! That girl is outgoing, and I want to be outgoing - try to be outgoing then! That girl has bigger eyes, but I can't make my eyes go bigger - make-up was invented for beauty purposes, show you know how to use it!

Basically, a matter of looking for solutions instead of more defects.

You sound pretty self-analytical, which can be both a blessing and a hindrance. It's a blessing to know your flaws, but it can become a hindrance if the knowledge eventually cripples you.

It's kinda hard to just say "stop being so self-critical". It doesn't happen overnight. It's not a switch anyone can just turn off and on at their will.

Advice? I am uncertain. You seem pretty self-aware. Have you tried to catch yourself in the moment and say, "So maybe her hair is pretty... maybe I like her hair more than mine... but does it matter? Other people I care about like me."

There is always going to be someone better. If you are a brilliant... oh, I dunno... what about a mathematician? You can be really great at what you do, but someone out there is going to do it a little better. Focusing on that too much will drive a person insane.

I don't know you, but the fact that you can be self-analytical seems to show to me that you are intelligent and able to see two sides of a coin. (Believe it or not, in my experience it's rare for people to even admit or know when they are something, be it jealous, angry, sad, etc.) I think if you can catch yourself in the act and try and tell yourself to lessen up on yourself, eventually you can cope better.

It's just so easy to say and so damned difficult to do..

Thanks for all the advice, everyone. =) Haha, I practiced it all today when I was out and about, and I already feel a liiiiittle bit better, because I got it off my chest now. >.<

Chi, I think you hit it right on the button, too. o.o I really don't know what to say about it anymore, but I'm definitely going to just keep telling myself that there's always someone better and that there are people that care about me who tell me how "good" (or whatever) I am.

And Kah, I think I'll try that technique. Mostly, my trouble is I'm so shy around people. I either click with someone and I'm myself, or I don't click and I'm this shy little mouse or something! I yell at myself like "wth, comon, just say something! Be yourself, they aren't scary!" Thankfully, when I met my room mate the other week for lunch and shopping, we clicked. xD (I was so worried I'd be so shy and not say anything. x.x) I always thought my shyness had something to do with self esteem, like if I think someone is better than me, I feel like I can't open up or be crazy around them. Ahhh, I can't even explain it anymore.

I didn't mean to open up a new window! >.< But, thanks again for alllll the advice, I really am taking it to heart. =) I'm gonna test things this next week and see what works best. I'm gonna try try try not to judge! x.x 'Cause I definitely don't wanna be a jealous person, 'cause I've bottled it up so long, I know if I get really jealous I'll turn into a monster or somefing! =s

Ahh! x.x

Oh, I kind of have that issue also. But one thing you can do is to try and think of ways you're better than that person. There's no one in the world that can be absolutely superior to you in every single way. Like say maybe that person had longer legs, but their hair might not be as nice as yours. Or maybe someone's really pretty, but they're not as smart as you. Just keep concentrating on the positive.

Meh. I look at them and pick out everything that is wrong with them.... But then again it kinda helps that I like both guys and girls. Like I could be jealous that a girl is skinnier than me but then I take note that she is overly tan and I picture what she'll look like years down the road. Its no pretty. I had a teacher who was only 40 and she tanned so much that she looked like a worn out brown leather purse! It was scary! I could look at a girl and be jealous that she has smaller breasts than me (I have chronic back pain because of how big mine are). But then I take another look and notice that while her breasts are smaller they sag to her navel or something like that. Not everyone is perfect. I saw a girl who was absolutely stunning but she was so stupid that she thought that gas was $295 and not $2.95.... I would rather be of average beauty than be beautiful and a moron any day!

I found a good way to get over it. Find something you are really good at. Get better at it then show it off. People will appreciate it and your confidence with grow. When it does you wont be so jealous anymore. Everyone has something they are good at. Find your thing. Knitting, dancing,, computer, music, horseback riding, anything.