When I was really little william and I used to LOVE to hang out, well up until my 10th birthday. I found out he has been..well hes been watching p**n, I was horrifide and imbarresed. I stoped talking to him and shortly after that it got to the point where we couldnt even say hi to each other without getting into a fight. I cant even see him as my father anymore, and every time I say 'I love you' to him I just want to die because I know I'm Lieing to him. Well in the past year about half way through my freshman year he looses his job and were forced to move to New Jersey. everything was going fine we were hanging out again, we were talking he was smilling again...we were a happy family like we used to be. Well four months after moving to New Jersey, he gets laid off for saying a racist comment to one of his co workers and we where forced to move back to louisiana. Now hes always been racist and I didnt have a problem with it because i would ignore it and it wasnt all the time, but after he got laid off for saying that, he cant seem to stop he started his "alone time" on the computer and its getting to the point where i can hear the video and him through my walls. Its disgusting and my mom doesnt seem to care, I've been going to my grandmothers house to hang out with my cousin and get away from him but school is starting on the 15th and i wont be able to sleep over at her house once it does. I dont know what to do and to tell you the truth with the way hes been getting angry and the "alone time" has been getting longer... im scared that soon it wont be enough for him and hell do something to hurt me....

second problem: My school
I dont think i can go back to higgens. I cant stand the fact that out of 2,500 kids only about 5% of the kids are white and im the only "non-ghetto" white kid at the school. (their words not mine)
last year I joined a club called sisters serving sisters where we hung out with other girls helped them with their problems and what not. Well a few weeks after joining the club i starting getting these notes in my locker telling me "quit the club or get the shit beat outa ya" now I wouldnt be that scared (i am a great fighter) but earlier that year a kid brought a gun to school and shoved it in his "friends" face because he wouldnt let him borrow his gym shorts. so of course i quit the club. But the notes still didnt stop they kept saying you dont belong her you never will go to another school already and so on.... When i left to go to new jersey they were so happy. when i opened my locker that day to clean it out there were all these notes saying good ridence and im glad your leaving. I cant go back to that school. im not safe there but because of the school boards rules i cant go to a school outside of my district and even if i could i wouldnt have anyone to bring me in the morning and pick me up in the afternoon.... i dont think i can go back to that school without something bad happening....

Third problem: well this is really only for a girl to answer Dx
So i used to have to take birth control because of how bad my period was. well about a year ago i stopped takeing it because school got out and since i was home all the time i thought it would be ok. well when i stopped taking the pill my period stopped with it. I dont know what to do i cant tell my mom shell freak and i cant go to my docter because shell tell my mom. I was looking forward to having a child of my own someday....but without a period that aint ganna happen....im really upset about this and confused.....

The first problem; I kinda have the same problem, my mom does nothing about it, but he's not as open to let people know what he's doing, I just ignore it best I can. If it's that bad that you can't sleep there, I would try to talk to him about it.
The second problem; If your school is that bad, I think you should talk to parent/guardian about going to a different school, maybe possibly one closer to your grandmothers house, if it would help.
The third problem; I am a bit confused myself about what your saying with that, if you don't mind, please explain a bit more, I maybe possibly could help.

BTW: I'm not sure if this is what you're looking for, I wish I could help more. I really hope this helped.

D: This. Is. the. worst life story I have ever heard (not saying it meanly) YOU POOR THING!! I don't even know how to answer these problems i have absolutely no experience with any of them! (my periods aren't that bad at all) Ok, this totally depends on your school and your grade and where you live, some schools (or maybe this is only in CA...w/e) let you take your senior year as "independent learning" if you get good grades maybe you could take that for senior year. Family problems? Sorry, i'm very anti-social with my parents so...yeah. *Still freaking out over this story*

AAAH. :hug: I'm really sorry you have to go through all that! ;w; I can't say I know how to deal with any of those situations, but I can try to help?

As for the first one... just. wow. I'm somewhat of a prude when it comes to these things, but I think that that is just unacceptable. Have you actually tried talking to your mo about it? Telling her how damaging it is for you? >__> I can't say it would help much, but... From what I gather, that sort of thing is an addiction, like coffee, or cigarettes, or drugs. I just want you to watch out for yourself, because like all addictions, people can get violent when confronted with them. But like I said, I don't have experience with that sort of thing. But I am really sorry. At the very least, consider investing in noise canceling headphones or maybe earplugs?

For the violence and the threats... God, again, I just don't even know. I think some of the people may feel threatened by you, either that, or they really are just mean. I'd say don't let it get to you, but at the same time, threats are nothing to take lightly. You can ignore petty insults, but have you ever saved any of these notes? If you ever get any others, you need to save them and take them to the principal, or to the school board. As a future teacher, I'll be the first to tell you that that is NOT okay and if presented with proof, the school should do something about it. >[

Problem number 3. This one I can help with, a little. Your hormones are probably just a little unbalanced after taking the birth control. One of my friends goes three months without her period regularly. I think it's something you should still bring up with your doctor, but I don't think it means you won't be able to have children someday. Might I ask why you feel like you can't come to your mother with this?

Well first off thank you all so much for your feedback.
I have talked to my mom about it but she tells me to ignore it but because shes always so tierd shes eather at work or sleeping.
as for the school I cant go to a diffrent school because its the only highschool in my district so theres no way for me to go to another school
as for the period when i turned ten my periods started to get so bad that i couldnt even move without getting sharp pains in my sides so my mom brought me to the docter to get birth control to try and fix the problem well it started working. i was so tired of walking up so early just to take the pill so during that summer i stopped taking it (my mom and my docter said it would be ok), its a year later and i have yet to have a period. I cant tell my mom cause shell freak and think im having sex. the same thing happened to my sister but she was really having sex and got pregnate, so now everytime someone in the family misses a period she freaks out and thinks there pregnate.

That's a lot to go through. I'm sorry :[

First problem... if he wants to look at porn, that's his decision and you can't stop him. But if he's bothering you with it, that's not right. Bang on his door and tell him to keep it down, or confront him directly. Embarrassing him might get him to keep it down.. he might not know you can hear him.
Also, it sounds like he's more than just a casual viewer and might be developing a porn addiction. That's serious; probably something to bring up with your mother. Maybe she can help him further, if he won't listen to you.

About the second issue, if it's impossible for you to switch schools (I would if you can, look up a big listing of all the schools in your area and see if you can choice into any of them) then I suggest going to parents and teachers and telling them you're being bullied. Are there any private/charter schools in the area you can try to get into? Those follow different rules, I think.
But it's NOT right that you have to fear for your safety at school, and the kids who are doing this should be punished.

Finally, how long ago did you stop the birth control? It can take your body awhile to adjust once you go off the pill, because it has to start producing its natural hormones again. I definitely wouldn't jump to the conclusion that you're infertile just because of this.
If it continues (or has continued) for more than two or three months, it's probably time for a doctor's appointment to see if anything's wrong. Even if your mom freaks out, it's about your health. That's definitely more important. There are also other causes to having a messed up period, such as a bad diet and stress- if you're really stressed about all this, it'll be affecting your period.
(I'm saying all this assuming you can't be pregnant, of course.)

well its not in his room its in the living room and its all in the open so walking out of my room i can see him doing it, my mom knows hes doing it and says to ignore it and he knows i know he watches it.
i do tell my teachers and my parents again my mom says to ignore it, she claims she had it worse as a kid but i doudt that the schools she went to were nothing like they are now. as for the teachers they suspend them and give then detentions but thats it. so once all of thats over they come back madder than they already were
my mom was the one to bring me to get the pills so yea she knows. no im not pregnate, but i dont have a bad diet, and ive only been stressed out for the past few months but its been a good year...maybe a little over a year since my period stopped.

Oh, wow. That is really disrespectful.. I can't believe he does that.
I'd ask him to either go into a different room, or if you only have one computer wait until you two are out of the house or asleep. If he refuses, put some parental control on that computer ;] You shouldn't have to be subjected to his stuff too, if you don't want to be.

Your mom seems to be very determined not to be involved in the lives of her children. :\ At least if the kids get suspended enough they'll eventually get expelled... there's always that. But I would speak to a counselor or something, and see if there isn't any way you can somehow switch schools. Maybe you could attend an online school, if worse comes to worse?

Over a year?! You definitely need to go see a doctor, as soon as you can. Your mom can't even logically think you're pregnant, because you would've had the baby by now xD

well thank you very much for your feed back on my problems ^_^;

Anytime ^^ I do hope everything works out well for you.

Thank you. ^_^

For the problems with your father, I'm gonna have to echo what Fabby said and say confront him about it when he starts bothering you with it - tell him to keep it down at least, if that fails then...he might need counseling, as it would seem he has a pretty serious porn addiction. Unfortunately, I'm not sure who you'd talk to about that - your father would probably just deny that he has a problem (most people in that situation do) and your mother seems to just...want to have as little involvement with her family as possible, which seems to be the core issue in and of itself. For that...I actually have a similar problem and have no clue how to help myself, so I'm afraid I can't be very helpful there. :sweat: Is there anyone else you can go to, perhaps?

On the school issue, that's a case where...I don't really know what to say. Absolutely, you want to switch schools if you can - if you can't, you could talk to your teachers and say you're being bullied, but in that case you're kinda damned if you do, damned if you don't - I did this when I had the same problem and unfortunately, being punished only served to piss off the bullies. If worse comes to worse, again, I'm gonna have to agree with Fabby and say go for an online school. Find a listing of all the schools in your district, see if there are any that you can attend online.

On the last note, I would say get to a doctor as soon as possible. There is a slight possibility that it's far worse than hormonal issues - while it's not a GREAT risk, it's still not something you should just keep sitting on, especially not if you've already waited over a year. Your mother freaking out isn't worth risking your health - get it checked out.

Good luck with everything - hope it all works out. :hug:

From what you've said, your father seems pretty arrogant about this. What have you said to him so far about it? If you can, when he is not busy, talk to him calmly and in an adult way and tell him how you feel about what he is doing. Tell him it is wrong and to take a second to look at the situation through your eyes. You should not have to go through that.

The bullies are also a very serious problem, I'm sorry that you have to experience it. Any notes you find, keep them in your locker. Is there a guidance councelor, pastoral manager, or head of grade/form? (I wouldn't know the setup of staff in american schools so forgive me if I'm wrong.) I would strongly suggest going to see one of them on your own at lunchtime. Tell them about what has been going on and show them the notes. Tell them that you don't want it to be obvious you have come for help as the bullying could be worse. Hopefully they can help you sort out the problem and look out for your safety. Also, if there is a person you can talk to about your family life, tell them about your father, or hint at what is going on as it could be embarrassing. Ask them for help as to what you should do as they'd have better advice.

As for health problem, talking to a doctor would be best. However, arranging to see a doctor would probably result in telling your mum. So, there should be a school nurse at your school you can go and talk to at lunch or before or after school. They will be able to tell you what is wrong, or to put your mind at rest.

I hope you get the help you need, good luck.

First problem. Im, not quite like a lot of people when I say this. I don't find anything wrong with the fact your father watches porn. Every man atleast once in his life views it, and enjoys it. I was expecting, when you said disgusting, something like your father rapes you and makes your mother watch.. though if it's bothering you, this does pose a problem. Confronting your father while in the act will most likely put off the mood, and he will become more aware. Most likely he doesn't even realize how loud he's being. If he continues to do it, I suggest you listen to some music loudly, either in headphones or speakers. Blast yours to block out his.

The school problem, yes, we have 'ghetto' people coming out the wazzoo. Mostly though, it's all talk. However if you feel threatened then you should speak to your mother about switching schools.

And lastly, I know you don't want to. But you must talk to your parent about it. If they freak out, it's because they're worried about you. Make sure your mum's not busy when you go to tell her, just like if you're in the car driving to the movies or having girl time.. just be like,"Mum, im not taking birth control, and im not having my period, we might want to go see a doctor."
- You're not sexually active are you? Because if you are, then you might be having that child you want some day a bit too soon. And if you're not, im sorry if my question offended you in any way. -

Third problem: If you've been taking BC for a while, your body will take time to adjust just like when you started. Your monthly visitor might decide to skip [not that you mind] and show up next go round. Missing a period isn't a big deal unless you think that you might be pregnant. It's only if you miss three in a row that something might seriously be wrong. So if it's been a year...dang woman, you need to tell somebody. :yes:

Go to your gyno and tell them about, but ask to keep it confidential if you don't want your mother to know. They can run tests and scrape you [pap smear] to see if anything is really wrong. I dunno if your body could've become dependent on the hormones that the BC pills supply to regulate your periods.

I am currently on my own BC because my period is beastly awful, but I haven't gone off of them before...so I can't tell you from experience.

But you ought to do something about it at least. Look up the name of the drug [if you remember it] and find the information on it about side effects and whatnot.

@hmgc- no im not and even if i was its been a year since my last period i doudt id still be prego at 12 months
and i will go to the gyno im just trying to get up the courage to ask my mom first Dx

third problem: the doctor can not tell your mom anything you clearly tell them you dont want your mom to know because if you say dont tell my mom and they do i think they could get fired

but im a minor so anything i tell them they have every right to tell my mom or at least down here that is