Sorry for writing so much here... but I really just need to get this out of my system... and I wouldn't mind some advice or opinions either...

Ok... so I've been dating my online best friend for a little over 4 months. ((Yes I dated someone online... No he's not a 50 year old guys... Just thought I'd make that clear.)) He was the sweetest guy in the world to me when I first met him well over a year ago, though he could be a bit annoying. He developed a crush on me and eventually I started to like him back... so we ended up dating a year after meeting each other. He was an amazing guy for at least the first two months... We used to talk all them time, and he has never once tried to do anything stupid like cyber with me or anything. He was really respectful... Even when I was at my worse he was there for me...

Then things started to change...

He started talking to me less and less... and he suddenly started acting a bit like an ass towards me. He kept blowing me off for a website, and would start trying to impress everyone on that site, but didn't seem to really care if I was happy with him or not. I even found him flirting... a lot... with other girls online. D: I've talked to him about it, and he says the flirting thing "isn't the real him" and that I shouldn't worry, and he told me he got easily distracted... At first I gave him the benefit of the doubt... I mean, I'm guilty of being easily distracted too, I have wasted my life away on certain websites before, and he did cut down on the flirting a lot after I asked him to.

But after awhile... it started up again, and he started ignoring me even more then before, especially when I made a comment on something he did that upset me... He keeps logging off on me... and ignoring my messages... It's stressing me out a lot, and I keep bitching at him because of it, and I hate it... He keeps telling me he loves me... but I'm just not buying it anymore. I just sent him a message after he ignored me and logged off on me again, asking what he wanted... like if he really wanted me to be his girl friend anymore or if we should just move on, and I explained to him that he had been hurting me and I was kind of sick of it... I don't expect to get a reply until tomorrow...

Did I do the right thing? I'm a little worried I over reacted... Outsiders opinions would be nice... And hugs... lots of them please!! T_T

Edit: I'd also like to add that I omitted a few things... I don't feel up to sharing everything. ^^;;

*rubs his chin* Sounds like your man is bored and looking to broaden his horizons but also keeping his original port he left on his map incase the winds turn foul ...

and he has never once tried to do anything stupid like cyber with me or anything.

What is stupid about cybering? couples have sex, both real and cyber/phone if they are distant. Could this be a possible issue? Does the guy strike you as sexually frustrated?

id I do the right thing? I'm a little worried I over reacted... Outsiders opinions would be nice...

I think you are in a damned if you do or dont situation. It sounds like he is looking for someone else and keeping you in tow 'just in case' as i stated above. It may be time for you to start looking for something else.

And hugs... lots of them please!! T_T

*Huggles you* you got hugged by a pervert >:3

You're actually not the first to say something like that. >_< One of my best friends actually suggested he was doing the same thing... Maybe it is time to start looking... I want to see his reply first though. ^^;; lol

Actually, nothings wrong with sex in my opinion, unless you aren't ready. ^_^ I kind of meant he wasn't trying to force it on me or anything. xD;

*huggles back* That's ok... I'm usually hugged by perverts. ^_^

And thank you for sharing your opinions. :3 They kind of raise my suspicions more... but that's ok... I might of needed that.

Yea dont let a guy take advantage of you dear. It really does sound like he is showing the signs of looking or has already found someone else. That is one of the hazards of online dating. People can lose interest randomly and quickly sometimes if something better comes along in r/l or even online. Or they may just get confused over the whole thing and distance themselves.

I try not to... that's why I decided to call him out on it... So right now, it's very well possible I will be single by the end of the week... Which surprisingly I'm starting to think that's not a bad thing. I really think that might be what he's been doing... It hurts a little... but I guess I need to get ready to move on. ^^;

Thank you again! ^_^ I really do appreciate it.

I think you did the right thing ^^

: D
*huggs*
D:
ahh you has noob germs now ;_;

I hope so!

And aww! *hugs back*
Don't worry... I'm still new too. :'D Barely been on here a week. xD

I'm going to be blunt, but honest here. It's the internet, things don't always work out the way you'd like them to. Not to say that all relationships that start and form over the net turn out to be a mistake. But by judging from his behaviour towards you, the guy is an asshat and doesn't truly care about you.

If you don't get a reply, I'd just rid of him. I'm sure you're still at a young age. So I know you'll find someone else eventually.

If you're tired of being pushed aside without an explanation - I'd probably make another account (on whichever instant messaging service you use) and pretend to be someone else; asking him questions (does he have a girlfriend?). It's wrong, sure - but at least you'd get your answer. Does he really like you or not. *shrugs*

The sooner you find out, the sooner you can get over him and find someone better for yourself.

-hugs- I know that relationships can be tough, online or off. I'm thinking that maybe he got more than he bargained for when entering the relationship. It looks like it to me that he thinks that he can just log off and not face any problems that can be happening. Which is completely not true~ You've done the right thing. If he's not making you happy, there's no reason to sit through it and suffer, hoping he will change. Because honestly, you can't change a person. I hope everything works out alright~ -more hugs x a million- C:

OK wow. I can relate to the whole online boyfriend thing. I met my ex-Husband online, as well as my current one! And I know for a fact not everyone is a 50 year old pervert or something like that...! In fact, most people are fairly normal.

The way your boyfriend is acting is sort of how my current husband was acting - a bit distant. But we had only been together for a couple of weeks, had yet to meet each other face to face, and he was in the hospital for over a week for a procedure that was suppose to be a walk-in and I was so worried about him that I called him daily and one day I slipped out those three little words 'I love you'. To which he immediately locked up and thought "WTF" and kind of distanced himself for a little bit, until we met. The logical side of his brain kicked in and he thought what am I doing? I haven't even met this girl yet and we're already getting this serious. He told me we needed to back it up a few steps and take it easy. I agreed, plus he was uneasy with me wanting to desperately move out to get away from my mom and didn't want the relationship to be needy and doomed from that. Anyways, we met up and it was an instant attraction - we really liked eachother as much face to face as talking, and after a couple other meetings I packed up a bunch of stuff with me when I was only going to stay a couple days while he was off work, but he ended up not taking me back. I got a phone line set up for work and just stayed here with him. We went back up once more to get the rest of my stuff and well the rest is history.

I find it strange though that the fact you guys have known eachother for as long as you have, started dating and perhaps haven't gotten a bit farther. Maybe he's thought long and hard about what's weighing against you two making it long term, or perhaps found someone who lives closer or fits his personality better. Perhaps he's sexually frustrated...there's a lot of possibilities, and the only way you will know for sure is to be up front and ask him. A relationship is doomed if there isn't open communication. He is being a bit of a dick for lack of better words and instead of doing this avoidance crap and 'hinting' there's something wrong he should of just talked to you about what's going on. I'd be a bit peeved too. I don't think you did too much, in fact I think you should be totally honest with him and say you think something is up and for the sake of your relationship (or lack of it) you need to know what's going on an what's up with this weird behavior.

With internet relationships, it's usually a bit of an uphill struggle to work out how to take things to the next level, or if you're rushing things. Of course I couldn't comment on how it's different from meeting eachother face to face and then dating while you're both already living in the same town as I've never had that happen....I've always been a bit socially introverted until lately, and then I lived out in the middle of nowhere so the chances of me finding a single male where my parents lived that was my age was pretty slim. (Something I keep on telling my dear single friend who is 30+ and never been married and only had one real serious relationship, but the guy turned out to be a real loser...long story...)

Anyways, I hope you work it out. If he's not willing to be honest, I'd say kick him to the curb. I wouldn't even bother on spying on him. That's pretty much stooping to his level, and just cause you know what he's up to doesn't make it easier to move on. Like I said you need to have open communication and if he's going to hide crap from you it's just not going to work out...even if you know what he's been hiding, or have evidence in cheating.

@Stupid: I'm actually 18... :3 Which is still pretty young... but not what I think you were hinting at. xD;;

He's actually really protective of me if anyone brings something up about me... or at least if any other guy brings up something about me. xD; I actually did get a reply back, and he's willing to work things out... he's sick of the craziness too and wants things to go back to normal. :D


@StripedSocks: Thank you so much. ^_^ Yeah.. that is one of the biggest problems I have with him... is that he sometimes avoids our problems... but he replied and he seems really willing to talk it out... he apparently feels really bad that he's been hurting me... and I guess I've been hurting him a bit myself... I think we might be able to work this out. <3

@Izumi: Thanks for sharing your own experience... I'm really glad things worked out for you and your husband. ^_^ We actually haven't really pushed things that fast... We're both comfortable with saying I love you to each other... and (virtual xD) hugs and stuff... but neither of use feel the need to do anything sexual until marriage... so I'm not too worried about that. One of the things he asked me before he asked me out was if I was a virgin... he apparently has a huge issue with people who aren't ones that aren't married... I'm not sure if this is what you mean by "sexually frustrated" but thought I'd make that point. :3

I actually plan to meet him in person once he moves to Maryland, since he'll be so much closer to me, then where he is now... He constantly tells me that I'm the only person he wants to be with... and he's told me he wants to marry me some day, when we're ready. X: Our biggest issue is mostly communication issues... and he seems willing to listen this time... and I really hope he does. ^_^



And also... I'd like to add... Thank you everyone for the advice and opinions... but I think we can settle the rest on out own now! ^_^

I'm glad that things are looking better. C:

So it looks like this is resolved- but if you want this reopened please feel free to PM me or anther online mod and we'll unlock it for you blaze of ice.