I wish it were just an outside situation trying to come in.. instead of having to live with this person every day. && Him having control over my life so adamantly. But what am I going to say if I just up and call the cops on him? They never once honestly listened to me when I called the cops on him before. Heck, the only times cops have ever listened to me was when I was calling them on my sister (and she went to juvi for assault on me). But any time that it comes to calling the cops on my dad, the situation changes. I was told by a few people that this could be because of the way he stands. Even if his story doesn't quite fit together, they figure it as "good enough" and walk on by, whining at me for contacting them in the first place. It's like a lecture whine, really. And it gets really old. Because i'm just trying to watch out for my safety... and that of my brother's. But just because he stands as if he were an officer, they relate to each other in a way that I don't. I've seriously wondered if maybe the greens he can pocket out has something to do with it too. I mean, as in... he's probably bribed people before. And I think it's absolutely ridiculous that my dad had.. don't remember the exact number, but I know somewhere from 7-9 lawyers at one point up against my mom just for a seemingly simple custody battle. Doesn't any one find that fishy? She's just an ordinary mom looking out for her children, and the dad has to whip out 7-9 lawyers against her to try to win the fight. I can swear to God, my mom hasn't ever been abusive to me, not ever like my dad has and she doesn't want to harm us. Truth be told though, I couldn't be happy living with either of my parents. And call me crazy, but of my choices right now, I'd rather live with my dad. Yes, I don't have my own room.. he tries to tear me apart every day... and my mom is disappointed in me for this decision, but honestly.... it's the most stable place I have to live right now. See, my dad hasn't moved in.. I believe it to be 26 years now... while my mom is trying to get the 21st move that would be through the duration of my life span. *is 16* And then there'll be the 22nd when she has a chance to upgrade. -.- And I can't keep going around to so many different places like that. I need to be able to just finish my last bit of school, get a car, decent insurance, pack up my clothes (harder to figure out what you want when 70% of it is in storage), and get out of there. I tried the first and last step while with my mom.. to at least start a foundation for it... and... wow.. that phailed!! >< It was so hard to get my life organized living with her the way that she did. And when I noticed things about her that I got annoyed at.. or was confused by but she wouldn't help me understand.. just yelling at me when she doesn't understand my side either. At least with my dad I can just go and call him the big bad wolf. But with my mom.. it's like... she's someone I love and then.. she just came and bit my head off. So..idk... I know... that... I don't have very many obvious options from my own perspective. I have a place to go when another person finishes school, we can move in together and try to make something work. Something that I'm dedicated about. With my family situation, I feel like giving up on it. Just building up my own life on the side and letting myself just run with it when I get my chance to. Should... I.... still call the cops on my dad?
Time until I'm free:
489 days
11744 hours
704640 minutes