Okay, here goes:

I've had a huge crush on this guy I know from anime conventions, Danny, for over a year now. Problem is, we're never single at the same time. When I first met him, he had a girlfriend. And even though I had a crush on him, I never acted on it, because Doris was in the picture, and she seemed like the jealous type. Hell, I never even hung out with him one on one, because I was afraid she'd get her friends to shave my head or something. As big as my nerd herd is, they're mostly wimps that couldn't fight off girls with a vendetta against me. Anyway, Doris breaks up with him at a convention a few months later, and he tells me about it, and I keep him from getting too emo about it. Now would be a good time for me to tell him how I feel, right? A few weeks later? Only...I've got a boyfriend at this point. And even though he'd been in military training and gave me permission to fool around if I wanted to, I couldn't do that to Danny. I just couldn't.

So anyway, a couple more months go by, Bobby gets out of Basic, I spend a week with him and his family, then he dumps me. So after I finish being all mad and crazy, I text Danny, to see if he wants to hang out. He's got plans with his new girlfriend, so maybe some other time. I don't want him to feel bad for me, so I never tell him about what happened with Bobby, because they're cosplay friends.

Last week, Danny's girlfriend, whose name I never bothered to learn, dumps him. Danny texts me about it, and of course by this time, not only do I have a new boyfriend, I'm living with him.

Yesterday, my best friend and I go movie hopping at Sawgrass Mills, and invite Danny along, mainly because he and I had been texting back and forth all night, and Ellie wanted to meet him. During the first movie, we end up linking arms so that I can get some of the arm rest, but I really don't think much of it because he and Ellie had to do the same thing. Danny has really muscular arms. During the second movie, I fall asleep, because I'd gotten 3 hours of sleep the night before. When I wake up again, not only does Danny have his arm around my shoulders, I'm cuddled against his side, and he's been kissing the top of my head every so often. I say every so often becuse I'd felt something like it while I'd been asleep, and he did it after I woke up and I realized what it was. After freaking out inwardly, I casually get myself out of the cuddle by pretending to stretch.

The rest of the day, we're just having fun, all three of us. Ellie kept 'scooping' my boobs (that's when someone runs up to you and pushes the underside of your boob upwards, so it jiggles), so I'd grab her butt, but one time I missed and sort of...groped Danny. It wasn't as awkward as it sounds, amazingly. Eventually we all have to leave, and so Danny hugs us both, then hugs me a second time and I kiss him on the cheek.

On the walk to Ellie's house from the bus stop, Ellie keeps saying that she saw more of a romantic vibe passing between us than she'd ever seen with Hector, and it was sort of humiliating when I realized that she was right. But at the same time, I LOVE Hector. He's different around me than he is around other people, so she's never seen what I see. I've had a huge crush on Danny since Yasumicon last year when I met him, but I don't know if I'm his rebound girl or what, since we only talk about things other than comics and music and our jobs/lack thereof when he breaks up with a girlfriend.

The part that makes me sound like a shitty person: If I break up with Hector, I'll have to move back in with my parents. I couldn't stand living with them before I moved out, and I sure as hell don't want to move back. I may be isolated from everything I know and everyone I care about aside from Hector living down in Miami, but it's better than constantly arguing with my mom and the complete lack of privacy I have living at home.

I'm going to be hanging with Ellie and Danny this weekend. I was never planning on breaking up with Hector until I'd figured out where I'm at with Danny, so don't worry about that. Another thing I probably should mention...I'm commitment-phobic. Either I can't stand seeing myself happy, or I have the wanderlust of youth, I don't know. All I know is that I've never been able to be with one person for a long time without wanting to go out and find someone else. Maybe I just have a cheating heart, even though I've never actively cheated on anyone I've dated.

I honestly don't know what to do. I don't know what, or who, I really want. I've been romantically crapped on (not in the German sense) so many times, I've just begun to seek partners out of habit rather than need. Hector is secure, comforting. He's the kind of guy that isn't about to go out and screw other girls while pretending he's at work. Danny is a hopeless romantic and no matter how many times he's been burned, he's convinced that the next relationship will work out. I hate to put it that way, but it's totally true.

So help me out a little, Menewsha. I'm confused as all hell, and I need a bit of advice.

This still isn't resolved, and I could really use the advice.

This is a very difficult decision and even if someone, like me or anyone else on this site, or even if a very close friend gave you advice it would still ultimately be up to you.

If everything in this is true it sounds like you aren't too far along in your relationship with Hector and that you really need to be talking to Danny about this, ask him if you guys could work out or if you want to give it a try. You need to talk to Danny and perhaps Hector.

I'm not sure, i'm not you so i don't know what would be best for your situation, but i'd rather get hurt by rejection than hurt someone by wanting someone else (as in if i was in your situation i would go for Danny and risk the chance of rejection rather than secretly wanting someone else and risk hurting Hector.....)

This advice would be great...if it weren't for the fact that I messaged Danny on Myspace about how I feel early yesterday afternoon. Now he's avoiding me, and logging out of any website he sees that I'm online on. I don't know if he's avoiding me because Ellie and I were reading him wrong and he doesn't like me, or else he does like me and is just avoiding talking to me because I basically told him that while I really, really like him, he deserves someone better than me. I wish I was less of an idiot.

I messaged Danny on Myspace about how I feel

What the hell? something as sensitive as feelings and you message him on myspace?!?! this is something that needs to be aired personally face to face, not on a web site or a text message.

I don't know how old you guys are but it sounds like both of you are going through lovers like toilet paper or getting them for the wrong reasons.
Personally i think you should stay far away from each other because it sounds like both of you are too volatile for one another, you dont seem to understand what a relationship and love is all about. It's not a convenience it's not someone you text constantly or cop a feel off of in the movie theater.

If you are unhappy with this hector guy then leave him, hell to the consequences, however if you are just doing the grass is greener on the other side thing ... remember this native american proverb. "If you chase two rabbits, you will lose them both."

I'm 19, he's 22. And we're both pretty freaking stupid when it comes to emotions. Also, if I don't write something down, I never talk about it. I can't. It's just...in my internal programming or something.

Originally Posted by Touch of Grey

I'm 19, he's 22. And we're both pretty freaking stupid when it comes to emotions. Also, if I don't write something down, I never talk about it. I can't. It's just...in my internal programming or something.

If you dont love the guy you are with, leave. If you are just using him for free room and board, leave. I dont know what you are hoping to accomplish with this whole thing. you have a guy taking care of you and loving you and you are off like a love sick twit chasing some other guy around.

If this guy does not do it for you then move back in with your family but dont just use him while you look for someone else.. On the other hand if you do love your current b/f and are happy with him, then i suggest you realize that the grass will always look greener on the otherside and just deal with the crush.

I have been in a relationship for 8 years and i have gotten crushes on other girls, does not mean im gonna cheat on my girl or sever this relationship just to go chase after some random tail i happend to like for a year or something. ><

Honestly, people who mainly talk to you when they're on the rebound aren't usually worth it. I've known so many guys like that. If you love the guy you're with, a crush you've had for a year shouldn't matter. I mean, there are guys I've had little crushes on for a long time. However, when I started to love my bf (now fiance) they didn't matter anymore. If your feelings for this Danny guy are more than just a little crush though, then you should probably break up with your boyfriend before something happens.

I've been dating Hector for four months, and he's already more interested in his games again than he is in me. It's like, now that I'm living with him, the chase is over. No need to keep trying. Half the time, all we do is fight over stupid stuff. Honestly, I think I may just take a chance and get the hell out before he decides to start hitting me.

If you honestly believe he is capable of violence towards you then i would recommend leaving and going back to your rents or something. However i would not look at this cursh as your free ticket either.

From what I've read, it seems the best bet is to leave your boyfriend and go back to your parents' house.

Or even room in with a friend maybe?

I'd also say forget Danny, if you guys only talk when either of you breaks up...
=/

I think the only fact that you and Danny speak to one another is only when you guys have a "break up" with your significant other speaks for itself. You only come to one another when it comes to emotional comfort after a heartbreak, and you're mistaking that emotion as a crush. And if you guys don't talk much while one of you has a boyfriend/girlfriend, also helps with this argument that you're mistaken.

I can tell you to try and forget about Danny in the idea of him as a crush, and just try and manage being friends with him. Nothing wrong with having a friend there to talk to for comfort, but going out with him because you think you may like him, may end up badly and you just end up screwing yourself over, but that's not 100%.

Also, imagine your boyfriend and only your boyfriend. Try and remember what got you two together in the first place and what made you guys this far, and hold onto that feeling and don't let anyone else get in the middle of that. Bickering happens sometimes, and fighting over small stuff is normal, as long as it doesn't lead to anything major or gets too out of hand or violent.

Good luck (:

**Resolved**
Hector promised to cool it with the jealousy issues and I've promised to spend less time netside. In that vein of thought, later!