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I just need someone to listen to me......
I am a modest person. I almost all of my friends are guys and I get along with guys better. It seems as if no one but my sister understands that they are only my friends and nothing more. One of my guy friends (I'll call him.... "Geoff") I like a LOT....///// and he might've liked me for a while but I think I sent him the message that I didn't like him instead of the message I like you.
In may of this year I went to the homeschool prom (yes homeschoolers have a prom too) I had decided that I wanted to invite someone to go with me (I knew I'd need someone to talk to because my sister would be hanging out with her friends and she would be the only person I knew there) and I wanted to invite the guy I like but I knew he would NOT like prom (and his mother thinks he and almost every girl he even talks to a little are going out.I mean, his mother thinks he and my sister are going out, even though they always say whenever asked if they are going out "no.". I didn't want to cause any problems for him.) So I invited my other guy friend (I'll call him..... Mark. yes, I don't have many friends, a fact that I hope to change at some point.) To prom as a friend (I decided to ask Mark's parents first if this was okay and when I asked them I made certain, absolutely certain I said to them as a FRIEND) and he came. We went to his house and picked him up (I did invite him, okay?) And give him that flower thing girls buy and give to their "dates" and he gave me this georgeous (that flower thing the guys give to the girls....oh what's its name...) Red rose (they'd held different flowers up to one of their three rabbits, the black and white one, because my dress was black and white, to see what would look the best)with a pearl bracelet and they'd bought him a suit (he didn't own one before then) and when I saw the rose thing and found out they'd bought the suit I was starting to worry that he thought I was interested in him as a boyfriend. At prom we danced (yes, him and I. We did the rumba, which he had to teach m and west coast style swing) a lot and I was starting to freak out even more because of this. Afterwards we (him, I, my sister, and two friends she'd invited) went and ate breakfast-y food. About a week later I was at swim practice and he was in a lane with me. Apparently, according to my mother who was sitting in the stands, Geoff was keeping away from me while I was talking to Mark. When I heard this I started to freak out more than ever. Geoff seemed to think I like Mark just because I'd invited him to prom as a friend, a detail Geoff did NOT know. Then loads of orher people have been saying to me over the summer ion my summer league team "you like Mark." And every time I tell them "No, I don't like Mark that way." Mark understands (atleast I think he does.....:?) That I am his friend. I have to admit this, but I at one point when someone kept bugging me with the "you like Mark" comments I said over and over "no" and then subsequently I screamed extermely loud in the middle of a pool deck during the biggest swim meet for summer league. Afterwards I told Mark about this, Mark made his usual comment about "gee, I can really tell you love me." And then he told me to just go along with it the next time someone says I'm going out with him. I have a problem doing that because.... Well, because I an a extremely fair person, almost to the point of being OCD about it and I know that it is not fair to guys to have a rumor spread about them and me going out together even if they know about it. Example: I had a guy once insinuate that I liked a boy for less than pure reasons to the boy's face while I was standing there and I went ballistic. I ended up crying and apologizing to the boy involved (he is not Geoff or Mark) at least twice. The boy was right there and I still had a problem. The guy said that he was "just joking" so, I said "if that is your version of humor it's not very funny." Since then the guy who said that to me has not spoken to me at all. The coach who was present when this incident happened told him to not speak to me and I thank him for that. Sorry about segwaying from the topic and now back to your regularly scheduled story. Another thing that troubles me concerning Mark is the possibility of him liking me. There have been many instances where I've wondered if he was doing something to make me like him more (like picking up, holding me just above the knees and lifting me into the air while spinning around slowly for about a minute.) And that worries me. I mean he is a complete gentleman, the type of guy all parents want their daughters to marry, because he can protect them (he is on his highschool wrestling team, can lift 235 pounds, is not a stereotypical sweaty and aggressive wrestler and is extremely intelegent.) And would treat them with the utmost respect, but, I don't like him that way. I like Geoff. He's funny, kind, helpful, cute, intelegent, generous and someone I want to spend every day with. Of course, I picked the guy who dosent seem to like me at all.... There was a time when he would look at me and I'd feel all buzzy and a little jumpy from his gaze and I liked it, but I didn't know what to do when that would happen, so I'd tell him to "stop looking at me like that." Which I should not have done..... :headdesk: why'd I do that?!?! Stupid! Idiot! For all of my brains and intelegence I've done something extremely stupid.... I can't help but fret and worry and mentally berate myself for causing this problem...... :headdesk: (And yes, currently I am banging my head on a desk.) I AM SUCH AN IDIOT!!! |
Wow that can get complicated fast. Why don't you try talking to this 'Geoff' face to face? If you've been friends for a while then it shouldn't be too hard, in theory, to approach him about what's been going on. Might be a good idea to speak on what's happening to both of them and clear up what's maybe being misunderstood. ^__^
I'm not sure, that's just my thoughts on it... That's never really happened with me so I'm just guessing what could work. I hope it works out for you, don't give up on this Geoff if you like him so much, he'll come around. :) Best of luck! |
Oh god this sounds like my life. Only instead of inviting someone as a friend I just went solo. Now understand that when I say this I speak from personal experience. Go tell Geoff you like him and were wondering if he felt the same way. This SHOULD send the message to everyone about who you really like, and you get the chance at least to be with the one you really want. I waited a bit too long and he was taken by a horrible girl who broke his heart and then he needed me as a friend more then as a girl. So please listen to me, muster your courage and chase your dreams. I'll be rooting for you.
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You should talk to him about it before it's too late. Take a chance, you may never know what good things will happen from it if you don't. :)
Best of luck, and i hope all things from then will fall into place. |
Speak to Geoff, the worst he can do is say no.
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You're probably tired of hearing this, but talk to Geoff. Like Wandering Echo said, the worst he could do is say no. And as much as it may hurt, Mark seems like the type of friend that will sit with you and listen to you cry.
And if he says yes, well there you go. Problem solved. Trust me, no point in going after a guy that doesn't like you that way. |
Why don't you just come straight out and tell Geoff you like him? See what happens. If he doesn't like you back, then go back to doing whatever you were doing.
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I am an old lady. I have been married for 25 years. Listen to the words of wisdom. Love cannot be controled but ........Find out if Geoff likes you. Talk to him. If he doesnt then go with your friend. If you cant talk to Geoff now what makes you think he is the kind of boy that you will be able to talk to 20 years from now. I have found after all this time that I think the most important part of a relationship is the ability to be able to really talk to someone. When you get older it will be more important than anything else. Trust me. Believe this.
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No. :no: I can't ask him that especially when I know for a fact that he likes hanging out with a friend of mine better than hanging with me. Quote:
even after spending about two months trying to figure this mystery out I still have no answers....... I feel so dense right now...... Oh! and once I tried to hug Geoff I failed utterly and completely....... His back was to me, he was going through a door into a building AND he escaped the hug, although hugging someone from behind... you don't do that unless you are or are trying to go out with them, right? and don't guys usually do that kind of hug? also I don't think he even noticed my attempt to hug him..... Needless to say I've not tried that again............ and yes, I am tired of being told to tell him. FYI (this comes from a gigantic hipocrite (did I spell that right?) who has been telling her sister for years to tell this one guy she likes and my sister refuses to do so even when, at least to me, it is obvious that he likes her. *shakes head sadly* those two will never get together......) |
You posted how much you like to hug your friend and feel so comfortable with him, doesnt this tell you something. I think something is looking you in the face and you are passing it by for something less. If Geoff hasnt noticed you yet he isnt going to. Try the one you can be sure of.
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but.....but.....but
.............. .............. ................ I don't like Mark like that............. |
I think you're too worried about what other people are thinking that you've confused yourself. If you only like Geoff as a friend, then don't worry about him. You've told him and everyone else how you feel about that subject, now all you can do is ignore it. As for your actual interest... if you can't talk to him about it, then you're in a pickle. You're just going to have to chill and wait to see what happens. Things generally work themselves out eventually - it just takes time. And I'm talking about months here, not weeks. I know TELLING you to stop worrying isn't going to make things magically better, but just try to understand that the more of a deal you make of something, the more of a deal it becomes. If you don't want people making a fuss, then don't get worked up about it yourself.
I took a regular friend to one of my proms, and he and everyone else thought it was a date. I was so baffled. It was a last second decision because my mom didn't want me going alone. But things calmed down after it became obvious I didn't especially care what he thought, we weren't dating. |
Just try to calm down, I am sure everything will work out in the end. You are not an idiot, you're a normal teenage girl. You'll be fine. As long as Mark understands, thats good, and if Geoff doesn't understand you can always try telling him in person that you like him. It might help start a relationship or give you closure, good luck if that is what you decide to do. I think that would be best honestly.
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whoa........... that sounds a lot like what happened to me........ 0.o I mean, that's freakishly similar............ Quote:
I understand how you mean "normal", but FYI I have never been and never will be "normal". Usually when something happens to me not just one thing happens but two or three annoying/horrible/stressful/expensive things happen at once AND this happens quite frequently. Honestly I am getting tired of all of the things that happen to me......... It seems (even if it really isn"t actually happening) as if the whole world is after me........ also it seems like whenever i get one or two friends they end up fading away into nothingness and i never hear from them again or I find them later and they've turned into a sicko, perverted, crackhead. Isn't that just my luck :sarcasm: and i know my luck (which it isn't good) and it never seems to change......... |
Like it or no, you're going to have to go right up to Geoff and lay things down straight. Life ain't like some romance movie or drama show: the girl has to take initiative just as often as the guy, if not moreso. Boys are generally pretty dumb when it comes to reading the opposite gender's emotions, especially in the high school age bracket. He's not going to suddenly wake up and realize that you like him and sweep you off your feet if you don't make it aware. And for boys, you gotta be damned obvious, and even then they miss it half the time. So just march right up to him and tell him. Lay things down straight, at least. With teenagers being the annoying rumor mills that they are, he might have the wrong impression firmly set in his head, and how else is he going to know the lay down if you don't set the matter straight?
Like it's been mentioned before, the worst that can happen is that he'll say no. While it may seem like a heartbreaking concept, life will most certainly go on. And at the very least, you'll still have Mark at your side. Sounds like he may like you, and from how you described him, he honestly sounds like a good catch. ;) |
youd dont have a choice to or not, you have to go tell him how you feel. HAVE TO. its gunna be a short time before he tries to forget
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I....I... I can't! Why does everyone seem to think that I can tell him?!?!?! Honestly. I can't, I just can't! Really!
I almost value Geoff's friendship more than the chance of him accepting my feelings (almost)! Well.... Maybe I could..... He does love playing chess with me eventhough I ALWAYS win.... Well..... Maybe I will tell him.... Yeah, I should..... ....... ......... ........... No! I... Can't! I just can't! I... I may be outgoing and exuberant and happy normally but I can be extremely shy when I want to and well, I'm being extremely shy right now! It's not like I can walk right up to him and say "Geoff, I like you." Or something like that! That takes planning and preparation and other things like that and.....and....and I CAN'T !!! *is mentally writhing and spinning in circles currently* I feel like I am not good enough for Geoff..... And I think I might just be clinging to the [I]idea[\I] of Geoff and not the real thing and that scares me..... I might be fooling my self, which I'd like to believe I am not doing, but I could be.... I mean, none of the typical book reactions are happening.... Well... the fluttery feeling is, but nothing else is, no electric current type thing, no time stopping, no blushing- no, I do blush (which I don't like blushing) who am I kidding? I can't not blush when Geoff is making me feel all fluttery..... *daydreamy sigh* Geoff....... ////// ..... ///// I..... Feel like a wimp.... I mean Geoff was at my house this weekend..... Though I had other friends there too, but still...... *unhappy sigh* such a wimp...... :headdesk: :headdesk: :headdesk: I need to be less wimpy..... When I am faced with telling a guy that I like him I freak out, as this whole post shows, and then I kinda can't tell them at all ever.... |
That was a lot to read. Now I am just exhausted into typing this. Here goes, My advice may seem stupid...just don't take it into seriousness. Dx
I think you should tell guy number 1 that you like him. Then tell guy number 2 he is only a friend. I don't know, because that seems much more better than not telling him he isn't. Though he probably knows you like him only as a friend. I don't know, what is going on in his mind. But it is worth a shot, no? Tell guy number 1 that you invited guy number 2 for your prom because you didn't know if he wanted to come because you thought he thought that you didn't like him. o.o; Because honesty is the best policy. ^^ Wait, You guys are all at the same school or something. I mean, home school...thing? o.O; Gosh, Home school sounds complicated. There I gave you what I thought should help you with your complicated life. Even if it wasn't good, I gave it a shot and now you must tell me if it works out or not. I mean even if you didn't take my advice. :) I hope it goes good. Because as complicated as it sound. Guy number one sounds nice but guy number two sounds amazing. Haha, But that is just me, I guess. ^^ |
I have told Mark (guy number two) that I like him as a friend already.
Guy number one (Geoff) as best as I can tell now knows that I don't "like" Mark. I think this because Geoff hangs around me a LOT now as in comparison to may of this year. Knowing that makes me feel sooooo happy.... This weekend Mark and Geoff (eventhough Geoff had told me he wouldn't teach me this) taught me (sort of) how to play Naruto TCG (is that what they call it???) At the party we held at our (my sister and I) house. Of course they explained the drawing on a new card that hasn't come out yet (Ino is on this card) and the drawing is risque and hooker looking/like. Ino (or in the case of this card Inho. They called her that not me) is clothed in a belly tank and a miniskirt, her hands are on her hips and the drawing is a front shot and to add the cherry to the top of this particular cake she has long hair. ....... I got off topic didn't I? .....///////......sorry....///////..... |
I Know What You Mean. In The Sense That Whenever A Guy I Like Looks At Me, Or Something I tend to be overly sarcastic or say 'stop looking at me like that' |
Yeah..... I like it and I still do that.....
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wow pretty harsh
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yesh..........
I am getting the feeling that I am clinging to the idea of dating "Geoff". I have said this before and that feeling has gotten stronger recently............. |
DON'T DO IT!
I had a "Geoff" of my own. We were such great friends (he was my best guy friend and would have been my absolute best friend if not for this one girl I'll call "Katie", whom I love to bits) until I told him that, well, I wanted more. He started COMPLETELY avoiding me in the hallways at school, ignoring my texts, etc, etc. I was so completely destroyed that my best guy friend had ditched me entirely. I can't tell you what to do, really, but I can let you learn from my experience. Ultimately, you have to decide whether you "like like" him enough to ask him out, or you value his friendship too much to try for more and potentially lose him. Best of luck, though! |
Maybe you should just clear the air and be honest with EVERYONE
Hint that you like 'geoff' Make sure Mark doesnt like you or think you like him And just ignore all the people who insist on believing you do like him (him being 'mark' of course) |
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