Mom thinks I'm skipping, but I'm not.
 

Me again.

I'm a sophomore at a community college. I am taking three classes on campus, and one online.

My mom is convinced that I am skipping. If I come home too early in her opinion, she will assume that I did not go to class or that I left early without the teacher/professor's opinions. It only takes ten to fifteen minutes to get home, even with traffic. Plus, there are times where a teacher will end the lesson early. My mom does not seem to get that. I have teachers who will go until the very last second and some who will wrap it up beforehand.

It's not just, "Did you skip?" She'll yell at me, scream, and accuse me of skipping until I leave the room. When I do leave, she'll claim that by doing that I am being guilty, etc. Honestly, I am tired of her crap and am waiting until the semester ends so I can move out.

She doesn't listen to me. I give her proof. I show her my homework, classwork, etc. But, I don't have much. It's only the first week of the semester and I am just getting my first paper to write. My only assignments have been to read pages in my textbooks.

Then she'll say, "Well, you did this last year." I never did. The only time I "skipped" was when I had a fever, strep throat, and couldn't sleep. Not to mention I had a doctor's note excusing for me all these days.

That, and my math teacher from hell. She never took attendance, besides the first day. She was constantly asking students if they were there last class and they would say "Yes" no matter what. Towards the middle of the semester she apparently sent something to my address saying that I was missing too many classes. Which was bullshit. I was going to class AND coming in for extra help so I could pass this class. It was all computer based. I ended up proving it to my parents that I did attend (assignments, teacher e-mailing my dad, etc.) but apparently my mom still believes I didn't go to that class.

She's also using today as an example.

I woke up today, feeling really nausea and light-headed. I took an advil, told my mom, who just told me to lay down and see if I felt better. My mom went to her doctor's appointment around 10:00 and I left awhile later to make it to my second class. My mom knew I didn't feel good, and I thought she understood why I didn't go to my first class.

I went to class, went to the library, and came home.

My mom snapped, and asked where I was. I said I was at the college. She said that I was lying, and that I must of been with a friend. She asked me what time I left, and I said a bit after her.

She told me I was wrong, that she left while I was in class (11:30) and that I was still laying down when she left. I told her that I got to the college before my second class (starts at 11, ends at 12:20) but she insisted I skipped.

I don't know what to say to her. She's telling my dad how I'm faking being sick, skipping class, etc.

Have you talked to your dad about this? I think you need to sit down with him and express your concerns. Maybe he can give you advice on the situation and help you out. (Hopefully that advice isn't "Move out while you still can... Save yourself!!!", but... It shouldn't be. I was just kidding about that)

wow, that is just messed up! how in the world would you have gotten school work if you had ditched?! honestly, i mean really! and oh come on! faking sick? yeah right! and, you're in college? why would you pay for college and then skip? ugh, that makes absolutely no sense, whatsoever! yeah, try talking to your dad. he beleves you, right? maybe he can convince her otherwise.

This reminds me of a similar situation my boyfriend is in with his father.

His father is constantly harking at him for not buying all of his textbooks yet (third week of school) and that he "won't be able to get any homework or studying done" without them. Thing is, he doesn't NEED all of his books; they're just not required in all of his classes. But his father is still persistent in saying that he needs to get them & that he'll fail his classes & and if he fails he's getting kicked out & etc...
:|

I've considered advising him to get a video recording from his teachers saying he doesn't need certain books.

Maybe you could do something similar? Perhaps have your teachers say, on film, that you have *not* been skipping class?

ooh! i like Jesmond's idea!

Does your current class keep an attendance record? If so, I would bring your mother into the school and give her the proof that yhou are attending class there. While you are at it have the teacher e-mail your mother telling her that she is indeed wrong and that you have gone to school during those days. If she is still being stupid after that, just calmly tell her that you have given her all of the proof, that you are taking your classes, and that if she is still concerned about the matter she should take it up with the school.

I agree with some of the things that some of the other people here have brought up (Dad). Also though, something you can consider is to try and not engage in an argument with her. It sounds like she's being fairly immature about it.

If it were me I would probably avoid her. As in, let her yell, and then go in your room without much of a word. In the end, if you get a good grade, then it doesn't matter if you're skipping or not. Even though you aren't skipping.

Another thing that you can do is to stay on campus for a little bit longer afterclass and do your homework there before you go home. That way, your mom doesn't know when you get out of class exactly, and you get a peaceful enviornment that you can do your homework in. When you come home, if she still doesn't believe you, you can tell her that you stay on campus to do your homework and then show it to her....But you shoudl realize that...

If you're old enough to move out then she doesn't have a right to see your grades because I'm assuming you're a very capable and independent young woman at this point and not someone who has the mentality of a freshman out of high school. Her paying your tuition is a gift, not a privilege. You know how I know that? Because my parents are making me pay my own tuition in entirety.

Well, you need to sit down and have a heart to heart with your mom, which seems like a lot of trouble for you. You need to let her know two statements. The trick is getting them out before arguments start, and make them as clear as possible.

The first is that you do not skip classes. The second is that even if you do, it's your life and that though her concern is appreciated, you are taking hold of your own future.

Now, there is a third statement but the odds of you being able to get it in edgewise before an argument are low. You need to tell her that your interest is in passing the course, and at the end of the year, your grades will dictate if your activities, be them skipping or not, were sufficient.

Hope I helped
Good luck with whatever path you take

bring home your homework, classwork, and other things like that (notes, if you take them) and show it to her. if she doesnt believe you still, tell her what you learned. what you reviewed, things like that. if she still doesnt believe you, tell her she can go ahead and yell, but she'll feel like an ass when she sees that report card.

Bah. She sounds ornery like my mother use to be. I remember trying to sign up for college and my mom quite bluntly blurted out that I just wanted to go to party. I hate to break it to her, but I feel quite let down as I never got to go to any parties the semester I went to school. :XP

In all seriousness, I think that yes you should sit down with your dad and ask him to approach your mother on this subject. He believes you, you've shown enough proof right? I'd bring home anything graded and show them how well you're doing, including your end of the semester grades. She sounds like she's got some trust issues with you, which may or may not have any logical reasoning to back it up. I wouldn't bluntly suggest moving out, unless you're not able to put up with her harking. To be honest, now that I've moved out, going to school is a bit more difficult. Trying to maintain a household and pay the bills is quite a bit, with trying to throw going to school on top of that. It isn't impossible, but if you're given a place to stay, sans rent or any other bills I'd totally take advantage of it.

If that doesn't work, and your parents are helping you financially, what you might consider is applying for FAFSA (federal student aid) and other programs to help pay for a portion, if not all of your tuition. If you're paying for it already, I don't see why she's getting so bent out of shape if you're staying in school, doing well at it, and most importantly not any financial hardship to her why the hell should she care?

If at all fails, I'd do what I can to avoid her. Do homework in the library, go find somewhere else to hang out and try to not give her the chance to come at you like that. :|