I'm new here so hello first.

I am 19yrs old and have 4 month old son. I currently live with my mother who is holding me in what feels like a hostage situation. I hate it here. My Fiance and I have tryed to leave twice both times it ended in her threathening to take my son from me. He is my life and he deserves more than what he has. My soon to be husband's family has offered to take us in but getting there is a problem if i leave my mothers home all hell will break loose. I want advice...what would you do in my shoes??

You're 19, you're a legal adult, you have the right to leave. If there's a better living situation waiting for you somewhere else, do whatever you can to get there. Well, don't steal anything, kill anyone or rob any banks. XD

Originally Posted by For-Chan Cookie

You're 19, you're a legal adult, you have the right to leave. If there's a better living situation waiting for you somewhere else, do whatever you can to get there. Well, don't steal anything, kill anyone or rob any banks. XD

Well its hard to just walk out. We have no car or money. she has literally covered all sides of us growing as a family we're stuck here. I just need out. and it feels like it will never happen.

That's when you hitch rides. Get a friend with a car to smuggle you out or something.

How are you supporting the baby with no money? D:

Look into support in your area -- public programs often provide things for mothers with children who don't have enough money. See if your fiancé's family can give you a loan, or even intervene with your mother. Try to get an outside adult, someone your mother might listen to, speak with her on your behalf. But whatever you do, act as mature as possible even if she's infuriating and childish. Look into public transit to get from your mother's place to your in-laws', or, as Cookie suggested, hitch a ride. If your in-laws are willing, see if they'll come pick you up.

If things get violent, you might be able to go to the police and get a restraining order.

You *are* an adult, and you do have options as well as recourse.

On the other hand, perhaps there's something your mother sees that you don't -- a reason why it might make sense for you to stay with her. You haven't told us the entire situation, so I don't know.

Another thing to think about it getting independence in stages: stay with her and get a job first. Argue bit by bit, negotiating -- tell her that you want to show her that you *are* responsible by earning money to support yourself, etc., etc. Again, getting a recommendation on your behalf from someone your mother respects can really help you.

Good luck!

Originally Posted by For-Chan Cookie

That's when you hitch rides. Get a friend with a car to smuggle you out or something.

How are you supporting the baby with no money? D:

My husband and i are in a program that helps young parents find work and pays them for the time they put in. We make about $300 a month plus wic and foodstamps


My mother "helps also but not without holding it over our heads. She blames us for her oter children not getting what they want but won't let us leave so they can.

I have a question:
Does your mother have custody over your child, or do you? If she takes the child from you and won't give it back, you can go to the police and report it as a kidnapping.
As for getting out - don't be afraid of your mother. She can't legally control you anymore. I know this isn't really very good advice (or much advice for that matter), but I just thought I'd say something.

I'd like to know why your mother is refusing to release you. It seems pretty clear to me that she's trying to protect you from something or other. I actually do think it's probably a really bad idea to move out unless you're financially stable first, which from what it sounds like you're not. Despite the 'strings' maybe it's better to accept your mother's help for now, until you and your fiance have a stable income, before trying to move out on your own?
If you truly want to leave and you feel that staying is just not an option, there's actually nothing she can do to stop you. (It's not legal for her to just take your son from you, by the way.) It might be in your best interest not to burn your bridges with her just yet, though.. as a young mother, you might need her help in the future.

The child is yours. If you're able to provide a safe home environment for him, then you should have no problems keeping him. I think your mom just really doesn't want to let go. Have you thought about going to college or anything? Even just community college will help, and you can probably get a lot of financial aid.

HE'S YOUR SON!! she has no right to take him from you and your fiancee if you try to leave. Who cares what she threatens, she can't legally do anything to him. And if he does go missing, you know who did it so go to the cops. When it comes to missing children, they're all over it.