I'm having Life Issues. I can't clear my head enough to even think straight right now. Hopefully I am just over thinking.
For three months I've been in a relationship with this guy. My mom recently discovered him and I were actually in a relationship, three weeks ago. She's gone crazy. He was working for her, and he's too paranoid to show up now.
I can not have a decent day since my mom found out. Everyday she's giving me a lecture about dating an older guy. Him and I are nearly 3 years apart.
And lack of communication with my boyfriend is not helping my thoughts.
Him and I even considered taking a break so that my mom can cool down. Plus, I have a new class in school to work on. Once I actually come up with a solution to a problem a whole new problem occurs. I vented on my issues with my ex-boyfriend. I let my boyfriend know and he got pretty ticked. But, he's not making time for me anymore.
Is there any one that will help talk sense into me?

EDIT:

So, I finally got everything sorted out between my mom and I.. and right after I do so; my boyfriend considers the break up idea. We don't leap into it though. So, him and I are still a couple. But it just doesn't feel like it. I love him. But when I say it. his response is "you too." which pains me.
He never calls anymore- when he does it's to tell me he won't be answering. He just broke our date for Tuesday. Which is another ouch and he won't have phone service with his new job for the next two days.
I am not aggressively possessive. But I am Too Passive, which, at this point is my worst flaw.
I don't know what to do. Neither him and I (as it seems) want to break up. But he says we're "drifting a part" ?!
I travel, I know exactly what 'Drifting Apart' is!
Irritating. *sigh*
I need comforting ideas. ...
Should I start getting more possessive and state my theories more often? rather than being passive?
Or would that just being pretending to be something I am not?

EDIT: The End; Possibly for now.
Uhm. So, I guess everything is at an end. My mom stopped irritating me. But just as she had a change in attitude, my boyfriend decided this is just all going to happen again. He tricked me into having this little "Break" of ours my idea. I can't sleep. I don't eat much anymore. I keep getting that "I'm going to either cry or puke" emotion. Since I'm not a normal human being. I can't just sit and watch a chick flick with ice-cream. I can't just go out and "Wing it~" since I lost my social life due to this relationship. Some-how I'm blaming this last relationship.
Him and I made some sort of deal NOT to talk to each other for awhile. We need a big break do to living together too soon incident. I found my happy medium after 3 days of agonizing grinding emotions (which I'm not used to feeling.)
I was talking to an ex - last night. and Explaining to him what had all happened. Then my boyfriend//ex? started to talk to me. Just an average conversation . I felt that Puke or Cry emotion. I was about to cry then realized my best friend was next to me. I lost my appetite immediately. It was like someone had stabbed me and I watched a flash of memories flicker by.
I don't know what to do... I'm now constantly depressed. I am over thinking Everything. Or just not thinking at all.
I want to call him up and explain things out and clear things up. But, He's really self-absorbed right now. I think it's all apart of a stage of teenager life... ect.

Three years can be a lot or a little depending on how old you are now, so do you mind me asking your age?

Please don't take offense, but your boyfriend doesn't seem to be making a wise decision by not showing up to work anymore.

It also probably didn't help that you hid the relationship from your mother. Perhaps if you had properly discussed it with her beforehand, she might have been more open.

But, that's not something you can change now.

Where is your father right now? Perhaps he can help in some way.

My suggestion to you is to sit down with her and really talk it out. Genuinely listen to her concerns, and don't try to refute something she says. Ask what she's worried about. She'll feel as though you truly value what she thinks (and you should!), and she might ease up. Then, ask her what you can do to help ease her mind. If that means not seeing your boyfriend for a while, then maybe that's what needs to happen (that doesn't mean you should necessarily break up with him though).

I hope this helps. If you find out what her real concerns are, I can try to help you address those as well.

I am 17 years old. Still young. I'm just not a normal teenager. I grew up totally differently from my friends and most people I know. I got pulled out of public school when I was 14. Traveled, ect. Lost a lot of friends. Gained none. Non-social.
Yesterday I tried to sit down and talk with my mom. Heart-to-heart about the situation. But, she keeps calling my boyfriend 'horny' rather than anything else she can think of which frustrates me. Being, he's not actually that bad for his age. But she went up to him and said "I know guys your age crave a place to put your wing-wang..."
She made him feel really uncomfortable which I understand.

I guess her main concern is the sex, then. Are you having sex with him currently?

Yeah. Her concern is sex. But instead of confronting me, she's pinpointing his uncomfortable buttons and my own.
Is it a bad thing if him and I have had our moments?

I've narrowed my options down to 3 ideas.

A.) I ignore my mom and continue being happy. Since she's been playing with my moods and my emotions. Trying her best to convince me I'm not happy.

B.) I actually run away from my problems. Break up with my Love, move in with my Dad. But, only flaw is my mom needs me at home. My older brother is disabled which has made my mom go mentally unstable.

C.) I Decide to start letting my Teenager rebellious mood take over my brain...

or in all, I'm thinking wayy too much and let things go the way things intend on leading..

I'd mix A and B. Ignore your mother, and maybe spend weekends with your dad (if that's possible). That way you're still at home enough to help your brother and your mom, but since you're gone more often maybe your mother will have a greater appreciation for what you do for her.

I also suggest having that "sex talk" with your mom. You don't have to have your boyfriend present. I don't think that 20 dating 17 is a huge disparity in age (one of my friends started dating her 20 y/o boyfriend at 17, and they've been together for 4 years now).

Talk to your mom about what you're doing to make your sex safe. Maybe it's that you're not having sex very often (less than once a week) so that may suggest he's not in it for the sex. Tell her you're using condoms and you're on the pill (if you're not, you should, but don't lie to your mom about it). Tell her that, since you're monogamous, your chances of getting an STD or cervical cancer is extremely low. Tell her what you like about the relationship outside of sex.

My dad still doesn't like the idea that I'm sleeping with my fiance (and I'm 21), but I know that he still thinks I'm his little girl. Between my PCOD, condoms, and birth control, my dad is at ease about it now because it's highly unlikely that I'll get pregnant at this point. I've also been monogamous for 3 years, so STD's and cervical cancer are out of the question.

If the sex talk doesn't work, ask her if you can just "start over." That might mean not sleeping with your boyfriend for a while, but if he really loves you, he'll do what he can to help the situation, even if that means temporary abstinence.

When you start over, go traditional. Like, super-traditional. Have him ask her (or your dad) if it is okay to take you out on a date (like a movie or mini-golf or something). Let your mom (or dad) tell him what time he needs to bring you home. Then, be on time (or even 10 minutes early!). Do that for a while. Invite him to family dinners, or go have dinner with his family. Arrange a time where his parents can meet yours. Do your best to have his parents back you up as a couple.

Whatever you decide to try, I wish you the best of luck! I know what it's like to have parents that don't like your boyfriend (my dad has only ever liked one, who is the one that I happen to be marrying).

My dad actually lives 3 states away. i go once a year for a month or two at a time. I just love the freedom I have in middle of no-where north dakota.
~
I could just end up at my best friends' house a lot. I do anyway to get away from at-home issues. Being the house is rather full now due to family moving back in. -,- irritating. I go from a only child back to the youngest of five.

Please help me out people?

XD I have a seven year age gap with my own and nobody knows save some close friends.

I hope I don't get caught yet.

We never really go out and only see each other on occassion. It pisses him off like 100% but we have to work with these circumstances until I can actually get around things and go out more often. But we do talk a lot.

So yes, communication DOES work a lot.

>_> And I'm the one who's all 'you too' or none at all because I like to imply my affection through actions than saying it. Stuff happened to me I changed. -_- Sadly, he has to deal with all that but he occassionally cracks and takes that against me. ANYWAY.

For your situation dear, I'd say you have to talk with your mom. Reason out with her. Make her know your side. I know she's worried about you but enough is enough. What she's doing is bordering on lack of trust for you. Then again you're still so young so I can understand but she should give you more room and let you be.

Give her your word and tell her you'll be responsible.

As for your boyfriend, he's taking the stress of this matter quite badly too it seems. I suggest that you confront him as well but don't be too aggressive about it; don't be too passive either. Talk to him about him. Tell him what you want and ask him about his.

Compromise.

DO ALL YOU CAN. I can tell you really want to save this.

Don't give up until you've exhaust all your options.

Perhaps a cool-off might do with some regular communication, a compromise or what not. IDK. D: But you have to try!

Thank you so much.
That really helped. :)
Lately all I've been hearing is "you need to dump him" and such. And my best friends don't even say anything because they've never been in this kind of predicament.
My boyfriend and I live nearly 25 miles from each other. City bus is an hour each way. So, She's insecure with me being that far away with an older guy. And she wants him to come over here, but she's made him to the highest uncomfortable level. So he wont until he feels the trust/comfort zone.

If you did dump him just like that it would/might make him feel like crap because you gave up on him that easy.

Hmm. I have an odd idea but I think it might backfire.

Have you tried letting your mom be actually there while you two are together?

Show you two can actually behave.

Oh yes! I forgot to add in: when you reason out with her, tell mom that you will behave and it helps her feel better, you can get a chaperone/someone she trusts to go with you.

Or have a cellphone thats ALWAYS on so she can always check on you.

Strike a compromise!

Set the rules AND FOLLOW THEM.

That way you can prove your maturity even at 17. You know how the parental units are. They will never think of you less than their own babies so it's so hard for them to give their babies up to the babies of other people who might potentially hurt them and stuff.

It's called emotional investment. XD;

Well I've actually already have tried all those suggestions.
What Happened :
I had my mom convinced that my boyfriend and I were just good friends. I confided in my brother to keep it a secret that him and I were actually a couple. Instead he turned around and told my mom the same day she left to leave My boyfriend, my best friend and myself living out of town for a week at my sister's place. She was furious. Which terrified me. Immediately lost her trust. She came back a week later. Still flustered she cornered my best friend and questioned her for any inappropriate behavior between my boyfriend and I. My friend responded "I only saw them kiss once." and BANG.
Sex talk for 2 weeks straight. and That's when she tried her best to make my boyfriend uncomfortable. She literally told me later she wanted us to break it.

I love you Wiafy *puppy eyes*

Originally Posted by Yoruichi_Slave

I love you Wiafy *puppy eyes*

lol Love you too Wifey XD =3:P=3

Originally Posted by K0a

lol Love you too Wifey XD =3:P=3

love you more!!! *cries on your shoulder*

lol.
You must be bored. haha.

yup but I love ya xD look it's us ^^

Aww Nicky my brain hurts like hell!!! I just got in a little fight with him. I got cocky. I don't ever get cocky!! but he forced me too. It's like he took all my little angels out of my system and replaced them with gremlins.

cute but you know its not your fault he wont realy listen to you, you'll tell him your side and now explain how he feels bout that or what he thinks bout it instead he'll say his side and you'll reply to him

Yeah, your right. Some-how just noticed. He says he's great in handling other people's drama but when he's involved... He's the victim..
omg. He thinks he's the victim in all this. Just him. I fixed my end of the situation. And all that's left is to fix is his end. But he won't. He wants people's pity and endorsement. I haven't been paying attention but just now realized, he's overly selfish. Oh Joy.

OMG I HELPED AGAIN!!!!!!

Not soo much as Helped. lol. More like hit me across the head with realization. haha.

love you wifey :P

The things going across my head right now... *sigh* make me mad. He's got a verizon phone. And so do I. and he only calls once a day for about 5-30 minutes a day. and texts every once in awhile with some random bull-crap that I don't care about. like "oh great an ex- convention" "the cops showed up- I bailed be4 they got here" Something I can not Relate too What-so-ever! -hug me!- I need comfort. D:

*hugs then smacks across the head* luffs ya to Wifey

lol your signature made me laugh.
I need to Vent. Ugghherbuger, I need to vent soo bad!