NA

Well, he obviously wasn't cheating on you, so he's probably a little ticked that you got so angry over nothing. I suggest you:

1) apologize.

2) work on your trust issues.

You obviously aren't trusting him if you're still holding his cheating from five months ago in his face. If you can't trust him, your relationship with him will deteriorate very quickly and you certainly shouldn't be considering marriage until everything is straightened out.

So, do what you need to genuinely apologize to him for your behavior, and work with him to help re-establish trust within your relationship.

I mostly agree with Keyori. However, he's also at fault. he lied to you saying he'd be at a freidns, and he didn't go. I can understand how you'd think something is up, but I would say wait until he comes home before you get too worried. he might just need his space. But you do knew to work on communication and trust. I think communication was the key in this, not so much trust. he's obviously having trouble telling you where he's going, and thinks he needs to lie. So I would work on that first.

NA

Yeah, I was going to say that sometimes guys just need some space, but honestly that didn't sound like the case here to me. So sorry that that happened to you. It really sucks. Not all guys are like this, but sometimes they think that their lady is mad at them all the time, just beause it's a girl thing, and that's not really true. That's why they feel like they have to hide things sometimes because they just don't think they [being the lady] would understand the case. It's all just very confusing. But bottom line, you can't control if a guy is gonna cheat on you. If he is, he just is, and there's not much changing that. so really in the long run it's just better to say goodbye anyway. >.< Cuz if it happens the once, it'll happen again.

That's why i could never go back to someone who cheated - because you're always thinking or wondering if the person is cheating on you now
You start doubting everything they say and it just turns into a lot of drama

Originally Posted by ahill787

It actually all turns out that he was with two girls, they went to a bar with his guy friend who just got out of a relationship. And he didn't come home last night. Trust is an issue. His lies are an issue, and it's all okay because his issues are no longer any issues of mine. Thanks yall.

Does he want to stay in a relationship with you?
If so, someone who wants to "get on your better conscience" wouldn't lie to where he's going, who he is hanging out with, or act a little distant.
Maybe he might have thought you're too protective and clingy after the cheating
and he's avoiding to talk to you to avoid a conflict.
I personally think that you have a reason to feel this way. I would.
Trust and communication is an issue.
You should tell him that you want to trust him but he needs to do his part.
Try not to overreact--it seems to keep you guys from being with each other.
If he is with his female friends (and not cheating) then try to tag along.
Try to prove that you're okay with him hanging out with friends (females too)
but also note that it's suspicious if he tries to hide it when he's not cheating.

You need two in the relationship to work out a problem together.
It's not one person deals with it and the other does nothing.
Compromise and discuss how you feel.
He needs to shape up and tells you where he's going without lying to make it more suspicious and contact you if he does notice the missing calls.
You need to try to not overact and prove to him that you're fine with hanging out with female friends (easiest way is tagging along and ENJOY the time rather than glare and argue with him).

He feels like he is being suffocated--but that is his own fault for cheating and lying about his whereabouts.

I would have dumped his but the first time he cheated.
If my BF ever...EVER cheated on me...there would be hell to pay. and he knows it. <3

I'm really sorry that happened to you. If you guys are still together (which by the sound of your last post, you aren't) I would work on communication, and try not to get mad at him until you are sure he is doing something.
I know a couple who had this problem, and she took his house key,so if he didn't get home before she went to bed, and if she didn't like where he had gone, or was suspicious of what he was up to either cuz he didn't answer his phone, or he did answer, and she heard someone in the background, she just wouldn't let him in. (he had moved into her apartment though, so she can do that legally.) I wouldn't suggest that though. . .

Why did you even stay with him after he cheated the first time?

By the sounds of things, it sounds like you are extremely paranoid about him cheating on you. Especially after he had done it before. I'm thinking that maybe he is wanting his own free time away from you once in awhile.

(My boyfriend is like that too and so am I sometimes)

Maybe the reason why he 'lied' to you is because he is wanting to hang out with different friends that you aren't acquainted with. Do you know what I mean?

Anyways, the best thing you could do (in my opinion) is to learn to trust him more. If something like this goes on for a LONG time. Then he is more than likely cheating on you. But again, in my honest opinion, I just think he wants some 'guy' time with his friends. Ya know?

As stupid as this sounds, I believe you have one of three options. (One of which may or may not be impossible, its the thought that counts)

Your first option is to express your feelings with him when he's sober. In a nice calm matter, saying I haven't appreciated how you've been acting (or have acted tonight), and I really want this to work, but only if your willing to do you part to help make it work. Be open with him basically.


Your second option is to keep your engagement ring, grab his stuff and throw it out on the street (or be nice and give it to his mom), and dump him. If he really loved (and/or cared for) you, he wouldn't be pulling any of this crap. He wouldn't have cheated on you 5 months ago.


Your third option is to sign up/get on Tool Academy, if you really want to make this relationship with him work. On Tool Academy you and your fiancee will go through a serious of tests and races to get a date with your man. Your man will have to earn a series of badges, if he does not earn a badge, he is kicked off, and you will be waiting outside as to what you want to do. Your options when he is kicked off, is to stay with him and drive home with him, or you leave him on the stand and break up with him and enjoy a peaceful car ride home.