Hello there,

I feel quite awkward indeed for being in this section of Mene. Not that it isn't a lovely place indeed. But I've never been much for posting my feelings for all the world to see. At least not in such a direct platform. But I feel that I need to vent, or at least get an opinion. First though let me start by saying I DID NOT make this thread for you to belittle me and shove your crass opinions and criticisms down my throat. I created it to get advice, support and perhaps a little understanding. So if you wish to be an outright ass or just disrespectful of me I WILL report you. Because this thread is about support, not judgment. -takes a deep shaky breath- Ok here goes.....

You may call me Syn, it is the name I prefer to use in non personal standing. And hell sometimes with people I know quite well. Either way I am a 21 year old female, soon to be 22. I'm in a very complicated relationship with a man I've known for going on three years. He and I are what most would refer to as swingers. [Once again, no judgment it's our lifestyle of choice] And although we have this status in our relationship we're still very dedicated to each other. Either way as you can assume this causes problems, but this is not the issue here. The issue here is my inability to choose who I care for lightly.

I am what some would call empathic [NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH EMO] which gives me the ability to tap, feel and pick up on others emotions. Even if over great distances. This here poses the problem, I have a really bad habit of putting myself out there, A LOT. And in doing so I tend to get hurt. Not in the way of "falling in love then getting rejected," But rather just falling to love someone in a normal of situations. This person coming to need me for some thing or another and me going beyond all lengths to give it to them. Then as I tend to over time I get attached, come to enjoy their need for me. But then their problem is fixed or their emotional dilemma's resolved they leave me. And I find myself heartbroken for reasons I can't really express.

So my question to you is this have you ever made the mistake of stretching yourself too thin? Giving a piece of yourself eagerly to each individual who has need of it? And in the end does this destroy you gradually with each new stolen piece? If so I would like some comfort, because myself love far too casually and I wish I knew someway to stop myself from caring so much about so many people. In conclusion I want to thank you for listening, or even reading this. I don't expect a response or much posting from you Mene's. But if you feel the need to discuss or even PM Me please don't hesitate as I stated, I am very friendly. Just don't be alarmed if I come to call you friend rather rapidly. It is my nature after all, as destructive as that nature might be.

I understand how you feel Syn. I also an Empath.
First let me say, that I have nothing against your life-style choice. If both you and your partner are ok with it, I see no problems.

I often find myself giving more of me away than I have to begin with... See the grand majority of my friends are energy 'vampires' (term used loosly). Whenever I'm around them, I feel drained and unsteady after a while. Thankfully, my boyfriend produces more energy than he requires, so a short session of snuggling, usually allows me to feed off his excess.

The difference between you and I, is that I love myself more than anyone else in the world. I believe that if nothing else, you should always be able to love and believe in yourself.
As for, to stop caring for others, it's nearly impossible for me, so I'm not sure how to give you advice. I can't stop loving people.


If you ever need someone to listen, please PM me. I'm very open, and friendly as well, and I will help you through any problems.

I gave too much of me away too fast and mt heart ended up more smashed than anything thats ever been smashed before i gave all my firsts to the same person and after he took it all (cept my <u>all the way</u> virginity) then left me and hasent spoke to me since.

First:
Kiss
make out
blowjob
sneakout
pot smoke (x.x) gross
love
theres more just cant think of it

@Syra: Thank you so very much. It would seem we have a lot in common. Although I don't love myself as much as I should. I make even the slightest mistake and I make myself pay for it indefantiyl. Just because I feel that it is only right. Even though I've had people tell me I take it too far, that sometimes I need to just let go of my mistakes and let myself as well as those around me heal. I'm a glutton for punishment and I take all of it inside, even if the person giving it to me doesn't do anything to deserve such adoration. Your boyfriend sounds like mine, I to get drained from those around me a lot and he in his love and understanding sustains me. If not for him recharging my batteries emotionally and energy wise I'd be one hell of a husk, far more then I am. I appreciate the invite to pm you, really I do. Would you mind too terribly if I added you as a friend? Oh, and I extend the same to you as well. Anytime, pm me and I will respond when I am able.

@KH4: Hey sam, thanks for stopping by and posting. Although your post upsets me. I'd like to find this guy and.....well I don't go into details. Your a beautiful young girl and I am sorry you were used so casually. Sincerely I apologize. I swear if I were a male I'd be the best boyfriend to any who needed it, because every woman deserves a real man. My innocence was stolen far younger and from someone who was supposed to protect me. I won't go into details because it's a touchy subject, but I can relate if not completely then at least on some level.

I don't mind at all Syn! ^.^ I tend to blame myself for a lot of things, as well. Somehow, things tend to be twisted into being my fault... But eventually I work through them, by reminding myself of how many people care about me, and how many people love me, and how if I untwist the problem it's obviously not my fault.

Try it. Next time you feel bad about something, think about how, if you where a 3rd person looking in on the situation, what would you think. If you weren't yourself, what would you do... I took 7 years of acting classes, so I'm pretty good at it, once I remember to try....