Okay, my mother is furious at me, for something out of my control.

It was Saturday night. Fiance and I planned a date to go out to eat at Chili's and to see "A Christmas Carol", after the movie we would've had about 3-4 hours to ourselves to do whatever, and then I could go home.

Well, it didn't happen, because fiance overslept for about 2 hours. Then we went to eat at Chili's and bought the movie tickets to see "A Christmas Carol"..HOWEVER, Harkins.com lied the movie didn't start at 10 PM, it started at 11:20 PM.

Ugh, so we waited an hour until we got to see it. It was 1 AM when the movie was over. Annoyed and very stubborn, I decided to continue what was our date plan right then and there instead of going home, sleeping, and then continue on Sunday afternoon (because I felt like it kinda lost its meaning, well the romanticness of it).

So we continued by watching webisodes of shows we missed, together all snuggled and then talked about random stuff =D It was great -- except I looked at the time and it was almost 5 AM :cry:

I was about to text my mom and say something like, "since it's 5 AM and I don't want to go home and wake up everyone T_T;; I'm gonna sleep over" but then I remembered last time she was yelling at me for texting her at the last minute. So this time I didn't text her, thinking she'd gone to sleep and already know that I was at his place.

Well, she just texted me and ranted to me about "moving out and forgetting to tell her", not true because I didn't. So I explained to her, why I didn't text because of what she said and because she knew, but she's like "that's no excuse", and then I told my mom that I'm coming home in an hour.

I'm actually dreading coming home now....I just KNOW that I'm going to get into another argument with her if not, an hour from now, then tomorrow. I know it's my fault for being stubborn and all and not wanting to split up date night into two days, but I really don't see the big deal about texting her over something like this, especially if I don't even KNOW what will happen. I usually decide things at the last minute -- because any number of things can come up.

I tried being courteous before and giving my mother a heads up, but that still brings up an argument the next day. But this time, I decided not to give a heads up and I'm still getting an argument from her. Ewww... I feel like I'm still a little kid instead of 22 :angry:

you're 22, tell your mom to cut the apron strings already, you have no business with a curfew at your age. Xd

Well from past experience I'd say let your mom get her frustration out, when she's calm explain what happened. Your 22 she should not be on your case like that anyway. I'm not sure what your mothers like, maybe she'll listen maybe not. I don't know, move out? I did at sixteen...never been happier.

Haha, alot of people tell me that but it's actually harder than it sounds.

I did move out temporarily before, but only for 2 months. When I moved out, one week I had my friends from Texas came over and at the apartment she was staying at, we just had sooo much fun, that basically all of us forgot to talk/phone our parents often. Everyone's parents were okay, but my mother...ugh, not even 3 days past after the last phone call that I gave her, that she drove to my fiance's then apartment complex, phoned me and told me she's waiting in the parking lot. When I came out all confused, she yelled at me about me being irresponsible and worrying her that I hadn't called her back in days. Me and fiance were like, "...is she kidding us? Is she seriously acting like this?! O_O;; "

Tell your mom I know the # of a good shrink if she needs to talk to someone about her abandonment issues.

Lol you're funny Gary.

Ironic thing is, my mother's dream job was to be a psychologist but she had to give that up when I was born XD

My mum is kind of the same way, a massive worry wart. I'm the same age as you, but I have to tell her where I'm going and when, approximately, I'll be back or she freaks.

Not very easy to tell a parent to quit hovering, but ultimately you just sort of have to tell her your not a child anymore and that she needs to cut the umbilical cord already. She can't cling to you forever, especially now since your full grown and engaged.

Ahhhh, this sounds familiar. Your mother... is like my mother. I'm sorry sweetie.

.... Except the part where my mother is diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and yours probably isn't. :/ Heheh. It's hard to deal with mother's when they are like that, they tend to treat you like a youngster and therefore take everything you say with a grain of salt because "they know best" or whatever. -_-; Annoying, as I'm sure you know.

I certainly 'hope' talking to your mother in a logical sort of way would help, but it never worked for me, so I don't know. >.< I say get out of there as soon as possible, when you can. I doubt it will be easy, but the more opportunity she has to hover over your life and keep you on a leash, she will. TRUST me. I'm sure she'll try even when you DO eventually move out, but at least then you'll have some control over your own life and can tell her to piss off. xD;

It got so bad at the house, that my grandmother planned to move out as well. My mother broke down crying, and basically used emotional blackmail to keep my grandmother from moving out. I have never seen my grandmother so broken and upset before.

Good god! That's totally nuts! O_o;

Your mother has some severe abandonment issues, or just hates the idea of being left all alone, and desperately tries to keep anyone she can desperately close. Even if it means suffocating them. Either way, total death trap.

*throws comfort and support your way* T_T

*Disclaimer*
If you live in your mother's house, then she holds the right to set rules for you, regardless of age. I think that a curfew or text/phone call requirement is legitimate, especially if you know that she worries.

That being said, it sounds like the both of you need to take steps towards fixing this situation. I'd honestly suggest that you two draw up a "contract" for behavior. Decide that you need to call home if you'll be out past midnight, for example, or text if your plans change and you are unsure of when you'll be back. Keep a little notepad on the refrigerator that states when your next date night is and where you think you'll be going. Just think of all the past arguments you've had and find a compromise that will satisfy both of you. Neither person will be completely happy, but I'm sure you can find a middle ground where your Mom knows that you're safe, yet you don't feel suffocated.

Then, no matter what, stick with the contract. If either of you break it or start an argument in spite of following the contract, decide upon a course of action. If she breaks the contract, for example, maybe you could be given some special privileges around the house. If you break it, maybe you'd be given some extra chores.

I'm afraid that I can't give any advice about your mother's emotional attachment to the members of your family, but you can at least deal with this current situation. It sounds like things will become much harder when you move out on your own. :hug:

Aye, yei, yei. Only you know what to do with your mum, I'm afraid. I'll tell you this, though: try sharing your thoughts with each other more often. I've found that even simple conversations build both the trust and independence of the family members.

your mom sounds a little like my mother in law. she's just the same way with my husband, and he's also 22. since we're stuck living with her for the time being, she always must know everything that we're doing! it's so bothersome! it's like she doesn't want us to have our own lives.

N/A

Your old enough to make your own desisions...if a parent can't see this when there child turns 18 then something if freaking wrong and they just like to freak control every thing, boo on them

You have to look at a few things:

Your mother loves you
Your mother is like ANY good mother and probably worries
She probably stayed up until an hour after you texted her that you weren't coming home
You DO still live at home, it isn't the same as you living on your own.
Meaning- You still have to follow a set of rules
Which means you will at times not be treated like an adult.
YOU are still her baby girl...even if you ARE 22.

What you should do is go home, talk to you mom. Tell her how you feel, let her tell you how she feels and agree on certain terms and rules since you are living at home as an adult child.