I had a wonderful fiancee who i loved and cherished every passing day for the last 4 years. Even if we were both financially unstable we were still happy with one another. Whatever little money we had I'd go above and beyond to spoil her and make her happy.

She just graduated from college, is stressed out about her loans charging us right now,Jobs have been unstable and we both lost ours. I've been job hunting for months now and to no avail, i've been Unemployed all this time. Still that kind of stress didn't stop me from loving her with all of my being.

Her family... well that's a tough story to cover. They were ok with me, but not completely, her step father being the racist a-hole automatically labeled me a "good for nothing mexican" and decides to give me the whole "I'm better than you because I have more experience" Bs at the worst time, During New Years (last year of course)

He blamed me for not having asking him if i can have 'her' hand in marriage, But her mother was ok, and she was welcomed warmly within my family. When i told him that with all respect i didn't want to be rude, but he's not her biological father, he lost it and kept rambling about me being lucky that he lets me in 'his house'.

Anyway all of that aside, the rest of the family welcomed me warmly and i felt comfortable at first. As time went by, my fiancee told me that her mother has a bad habit of talking bad about her behind her back in Romanian. Now... both her and I don't know anything, but judging from the awful looks they give her and the typical "i'm ashamed of you" looks I'm not surprised why she'd feel that way.

To my surprise i honestly thought the rest of her family was a-ok with me, with the exception of her step-father. I Finally got to meet her bio-father during her graduation, and he was abit skeptical at first, but with the few days we talked to each other and from what he saw, he knew i was a trustworthy guy, and accepted me 100%.

As the days went by, everything started to somewhat snowball, and fast. My fiancee was super stressed and ranted about not being able to have the vacation she always wanted. So, I offered her to take a few weeks off of job hunting and relax, spoil herself and enjoy whatever free time, that i'll go ahead and job hunt and try to keep us stable. Now keep in mind I've been unemployed for months now, and she got fired for a very ridiculous reason.

Even with stress and I poured my heart and being into every little thing i could do for her, and i thought i was helping making her feel better. It wasn't until a few days ago that she just completely lost it. Her stress made her snap and get annoyed at every little thing, she then tells me that she just wants to give up on everything. That she doesn't want to be with me anymore and that it would be perfect since her family disapproved of me. I just think that they got to her, and that the stress is making her act insane, because i know deep down inside she's not like that.

4 years of the best relationship we've ever had, even through thick and thin we've been happy and had each others back. But just one day goes wrong (Friday 13th, of all days ._.) one little date goes wrong. and she just decides that she will NEVER get things to go her way, that her family will always destroy celebrations, that she will never get a vacation and that her mother will haunt her even if she moves out.

56 months all gone up in an elaborate tantrum, just because I said the "wrong thing" after waiting for a whole day to go on that date she had planned, just because i thought we'd start off in the morning together, so I went ahead and got rid of all my chores around my apartment and didn't sleep at all,m just because I didn't want to sleep past the morning, which I had assumed our date would begin.

So dear readers, should I honestly just give up? You have no idea how many times I've had to hear how her mother gives her hell and views me badly, etc. etc. and how many times I've had to endure this kind of pain and had to still stay positive, aside from me having my own kind of stress that I cast aside, just to give her my 100% everything. Don't get me wrong she has helped me out ALOT and helped me calm down from going over board, but i've not only dealt with what's on my plate, but on hers, and still had to be the positive one of the relationship.

Not once have I told her to give up on anything, I've supported her decisions 110% and I haven't ever denied a date, I might be running an hour late, but =/ it honestly wasn't my fault. This time was her last straw. Me not being 'ready on time' saying the wrong thing, and not knowing when we'd go... Can you honestly blame a guy for not being informed days before, and simply left on assumptions?
Would you girls just give up after 4 solid years of your "knight" still helping you through and giving you moral support all the way, even when family was negative?

I've grown tired of this, but yet my heart yearns for her. Call me a glutton for pain and whatnot, but honestly right now i have no idea what to do or who to turn to. =/ Thank you for your time. Sorry for the long rant. -Riken

Wow, thats amazing, the stuff you two have been through! It's soo sweet.

I say, try to win her back, once she's calmed down. Once her stress level decreases, trying getting her back. But don't be pushy or try to often.

I know with school I've been really stressed lately, but it's my boyfriend thats been keeping me sane. He asks nothing from me, when I'm having a crisis, but he's always there when I need him. I wish I could do more for him...

It doesn't matter what family thinks. You're not in love with her family, you're in love with her!

Originally Posted by Syraannabelle

Wow, thats amazing, the stuff you two have been through! It's soo sweet.

I say, try to win her back, once she's calmed down. Once her stress level decreases, trying getting her back. But don't be pushy or try to often.

I know with school I've been really stressed lately, but it's my boyfriend thats been keeping me sane. He asks nothing from me, when I'm having a crisis, but he's always there when I need him. I wish I could do more for him...

It doesn't matter what family thinks. You're not in love with her family, you're in love with her!

I have to agree with this completely. You are in love with her, not her family. You shouldn't give up on her just because she's stressed, breakdowns happen. Just try and help her pick up the pieces and get her thoughts together. If she calms down and still is sure that she wants to call it quits, then I wouldn't be able to give you advice. but until it is obvious that she is still seriously stressed, don't give up.

I'm in a relationship that's only 2 years going, we're both unemployed and living with his uncles, brothers, mother and grandmother, and the only one I can stand is his mother and that's starting to wear on me as well. His friends, for the most part, have trouble with me because their girlfriends don't like me and therefor I am a strain on their relationships. Yet, I still am trying my damndest to keep from giving up, because I love him, not any of them.

Well thanks, but i know that i'm in love with her, and not her family, the problem is that she doesn't understand everytime that i tell her to stop freaking about about what her family says. She should just focus on the positive things they say and to know that i care for her very very much, i'm just sick and tired of the cycle repeating itself... I've been dealing with her being emotionally torn apart by her family day after day, and i listen to her, but now it's all just a repeat. I'm tired of all of that. =/ I can't just stand there watching her suffer like that, even if she lost it and broke up with me, i just can't.

maybe i need to talk to her for real. I know you are a sweet loving and devoted fiancee to her and she needs to realize that. You shouldnt give up on something that brought you happiness. She needs to stand for herself and demostrate that she is grown enough to decide what she wants and if she wants to marry you they will have to accept that and respect your relationship with her. If her family really loves her they will do everything to make her happy. When my mother tried to voice her opinion on my now husband I told her flat out " look I am the one that is marrying him not you whatever opinions and dislikes you have keep them to your self . I respect you and I expect to be respected by you". She never spoke about him again I can tell you. So dont give up yet but make her understand that she needs to put in her part and stop her family from harrasing both of you all. She has a voice she can speak for herself and in this case she would be rather stupid if she decides to let her family ruin her life. I mean really she should really do something about this and stand in her ground. I understand you dont want her to suffer because of this but she is allowing this to happen to her if she continues to allow them to tear her apart. You done good in her life believe me there is not alot of people out there that would do that now in days