If you love her, why do you cheat on her?
 

My best friend just started dating this girl online, which usually is not a problem. After dating her for about three or four days, he tells her that he wants her to move in with him. I assume, at first, this is just a case of my best friend being an idiot. He has done this before with multiple girls online, and most of these relationships end in less than two months.

However....

+ He has cheated on this girl since he dated her. My friend from high school before this, was dating a guy (offline relationship) since September. He is regularly having sex with him.

+ He has told both of my ex-girlfriend and my best friend that he wanted to hook up with him. The ex-girlfriend found out quickly that my friend had no intention of even hanging out as friends, and confronted him. My friend flips out and claims that he broke his heart.

My friend from high school asks to hang out, and my best friend dodges the question. Nothing fishy, but my best friend tries to ignore things until the last minute or until it is brought up.

I also have a feeling that he also cheated on the girl with my friend from high school. No proof there.

+ My best friend will either be in jail or on house arrest in a month due to various charges. I'm not saying he should stay away from relationships, but he's at a point where he might be in jail for YEARS.

+ When I hang out with him, my friend spends all his time talking to this girl online through a web camming chat program or on MSN. I have stopped hanging out, and he assumes this is because I'm too busy hanging out with my boyfriend. He tells me he misses me, but I don't believe him anymore.

+ My best friend has been in similar situations before, but 99% of the time the girls end up leaving him either when he asks them to move in with him or when he tells them about the charges. It makes me wonder if he has told his current girlfriend that there is a good chance he might be in jail.

I don't know what to do at this point. A part of me wants to tell the girl, mainly because she doesn't seem like a bad person. I have been cheated on, and I would hate to have this girl move up and then find out what really has been happening offline.

Plus, I want to talk to my best friend on how he has been spending to much time online. It's not only affecting our friendship, but other relationships as well. He does not get out of the house besides to go grocery shopping or to buy something at the store. He does not leave the house unless he has to. Yet, at the same time, he gets pissed off at me when I mention I went to the mall.

I think that you should tell her the truth. She's done nothing wrong and, like you said, she seems to be a good girl, so you should tell her the truth. She deserves to know, especially since their relationship has so quickly escalated to this point. I think, however, first you should talk to your best friend and try to figure out what his problem is. It seems as if your friendship is important to you, but it's just suffering. If he doesn't make an effort to change, then he clearly doesn't value your friendship enough to be worth your time anyway.

I'm speaking of all this objectively. I wouldn't actually do much of this at all, simply because it is in my nature to:

A: Avoid conflict
B: Do nothing that would bother my friends in any way and forgive them for everything

But I really think this girl seems to know the truth.

Good luck. :)

I'm going to try to avoid conflict, but my friend...he's stubborn.

My best friend keeps posting statuses on Facebook on how much he loves her, how she is the girl is the one. It's taking me all my strength not to say, "Dude, you have been dating her for a week. You've known her for a week."

She's pretty much, from what I've seen, buying this shit up. I don't want her to get hurt.

To be blunt, my friend pretty much has no life. He has no job, and has made barely any attempt to find one. It would be okay if he was still attending college, but it is pretty clear that he has pretty much dropped out for good. Not to mention with his court date next month deciding if he's going to go to jail or be put on house arrest.

He has a trust fund that gives him $300 a month but he spends most of it on video games. Only $40 goes for food. My friend lives with his brother, who is in charge of buying the food for his house. Let's just say his brother an asshole and pretty much only buys a few frozen dinners for him. The rest of the food is not allowed to be touched.

My friend does shit about it.

What is he going to do with the girl comes up here. Most likely she'll have to quit her job because there's no way in hell she'll be able to transfer. Walmart has been on a hiring freeze, apparently, for awhile. My boyfriend, who tried to transfer, was pretty much told this.

It'll take at least a month or two to find a job, maybe less, depending on the luck and the time of the year.

That is assuming my friend will not pay for her food, or that she does not save up any money.

Besides that, my friend does not do anything. He has pretty much ditched all his friends---he doesn't answer the phone, and when he does he usually makes an excuse on why he cannot hang out with them. It used to be that he hung out with his friends on a daily basis and now he can't even be bothered to answer the phone. This is even more true because he spends all his time online. He sleeps all day, and talks to her during the evening and/or night.

His schedule fits her's.

She works evenings, so he gets up then. Then he'll talk to her when she gets home. I'm guessing when she goes to sleep, he goes to sleep.

If it was not for the girl, I would say he was depressed. He could still be depressed.

My friend says he is happy that he has found his soul mate. The reality of this is that they met a week and a half ago at the max. They have probably been dating that long too. You can have feelings for a girl, but I am doubting the fact that he in love with her. It's the honeymoon phase. Puppy love, even.

I also doubt this girl is the one---when he has said that before to his other girlfriends in the past.

I added his girl on Facebook.