I hate that when someone wants something from me I give it to them with out a second thought. Lately though, I've been having second thoughts, but I still keep giving. Its putting me in a hole and I can't seem to tell them no.

I used to actually push things on them, because they needed the help and I couldn't see them suffer. Now they just ask me things, but I feel bad telling them no. I can't even ask them for anything because they complain and turn it around on me.

What can I do? I'm giving away everything and I feel like they're using me, even though they say they're not.

maybe you should put your foot down and tell the people how your feeling about it?

I've tried to tell them, but they won't listen and it hurts far to much to push them aside. I've tried talking but the conversation always seems to end up on me.

I would just stop giving to them. Tell them that you can't, or won't. It sucks to be the person who gives everything just to have people walk all over you because of it, I know, I used to be like that. IF you feel bad telling them no try to find an alternate solution to you giving them what they want, maybe a way that they can do it for themselves. If they truely care about you then they will understand if you say no.

They have a job, a pretty good one at that, its just all the bills they pay that are holding them down. I've told them no, I've told them I can't afford it, then when I'm broke asking them for money, its a different story. Its turn into "I don't have enough money for that" or "why didn't you tell me this a while ago". Even though I'm saying it all the time I don't think they hear me.

There one little bit I didn't mention, but I kind of have a question on it.

Does marijuana really mess with your head? I've always wondered if it truly had the effect of making your mind "foggy", as in you can't truly think before you act. Can it make you a better liar as well? I feel like I'm being manipulated into doing everything, like they're using reverse psychology. I'm getting sooo annoyed! I want to kick them out but I can't because we'll be going to court, and they can lie with the best of them.

MoonLightRaine, I'm exactly like you. I put everyone else before me, and will do anything for anyone I care about, even if it hurts me in the end. I have a hard time telling people no and I wind up getting used a lot. I'm not pushy and am nice always, fearing hurting anyone that's not myself. I get pushed around a lot.

I wish, having told you that, that I had some wise, perfect deus ex machina-type advice that could help, but I really don't. All I can say is put your foot down where you have second thoughts and let them know that you're sick of being used. If they refuse to listen, then they're not really your friends and they're just leeches and you really should break it off and kick them out. THAT, I can say from my above experiences, will be the hardest thing for you to do, but you need to try, I think.

Good luck and message me if you ever need help. :) I'm always happy to help.

Dont give anyone anything I am being serious. They take advantage of any kindness from you. Clearly they are taking advantage of you therefor you need to stop helping. its funny that when you need something they cant seem to help. Dont feel bad you are actually doing the right thing by telling them no and stick to it. Real friends and family dont take advantage of you . i use to be like that wanting to help everyone and when i needed help they werent around so i finally said no and ignored them.

Politely say no
if that doesn't work
just outright say it

I'm like you too, I have a hard time saying no but sometimes you just have to.

There are limits on how much someone can use you for something. If they are trying to take advantage of you for being too nice. Then yes, you need to put your foot down and say no. But if it's something that they can probably handle themselves, just say no.

And also if you ask for something, and never get anything in return. Then yes, you need to say no at some point.

Yep, I know how that is.

You feel so bad for them, so you try to help them out because you can. You easily can. But you can't keep doing it, you know it, they know it, yet you still do it. Then it makes you want to hide so they won't ask for your help anymore, but that doesn't work for long. And when you need something, they're never there for you and kick you when you're down.

Meh, it's a rather deep hole. It's like a bird who's broken a wing and you've fixed it, but now the bird doesn't leave. Gradually make them do things without you, like start ignoring them sometimes. You need to practice saying "no". Shout it to yourself in the mirror if it helps.

It seems to me like they've got blackmail on you. You said something about court? that's not good. But you have to start worrying about yourself first. Find someone in real life to support you, maybe a close friend or your parents and then diverse a plan and talk about why things could go to court. If the court business is serious, maybe find a lawyer.

Your best move is to get away from the people taking advantage of you. At least just for awhile until you can get things sorted out. Don't be afraid to say no to people, and say it sternly.

Personally I think they are using you. Why would they want to keep on asking you for stuff when they can very much provide the things they want and need for themselves? You do not need to do that for them. They are capable of working their way just like everybody else in this world. :) So I would avoid them if they ask you for anything. I mean, saying no hurts but without the word no there wouldn't really be a thing called truth. I have no idea I just totally made that last sentence up but it sounded so cool. Anyways, I hope you do say no to those who are using you and find better friends. Even if they ask why just say I don't have the time or I am too busy to do that. I mean, what kind of stuff do they even ask for? I think they have the money. Just say "Don't you have the money?" if not then just walk away! I know you're not heartless but they should as well provide things and not depend on other people or USE people. >>

I have had this issue. I had a friend I did this for and more then one at times. Paying for the drinking habit and the smoking. Paid for the house and jsut did all I could to keep the house going with no help from anyone. In the end it fell apart. We all went our own ways.

The true friends had others to help them and are doing awesome and the ones who were bitter don't talk to me anymore. It goes to show who my friends are right? Its a hard as hell thing to do but its worth it in the end. When your truly happy and when your friends and you can go in on things and help each other out equally life is alot better.

Whenever somebody asks you for something either start crying or gorilla yell at them.
Then you can tell them to shove off.

Start a list, When you give something to some one, write who, when, what, where. And when you ask them for something, show them their list.