Hi again... It's been a couple of weeks since I last posted BUT things have gotten alot worse...

To recap on previous issues there's been a fight with the bf, his best friend flinging abuse at me and my best friend rejecting me and acting very rudely towards me.

NOW my birthday's coming up (yay?). It's in 2 days and the only girlfriend I'm REALLY close to has decided to stay in. I asked her weeks ago to go shopping in London with me, but now she can't cos she has deadlines. She says she has to work all thursday and friday (friday is my bday.) why not work sat and sunday? I don't know. Was too pissed to ask and I just left it. She didn't even say sorry.

I currently have no close friends. I have some nice acquaintances who I'm getting to know better and better which is great, and I've been focusing on that and trying to get along with them so I haven't been caught up in living with people who are rude and dislike me (oh and my old best bud lives with me and shes not going out on the evening for my bday or anything). It's just... annoying that they're still rude on my bday, I was hoping they could suck it up and at least pretend to be semi interested. At least I got my first how are you from one of them a week ago...

Ok well here's my question to you life issues:

What do you think I'm doing wrong?

I think it's because I spend too much time with my bf. HOWEVER none of my flatmates have invited me out with them for a month or so and have NEVER asked me to go on a girly night out. I've been to a couple of meals with them (no bf present!) and slept alone in the house without inviting the bf around for about a week yet no change.

They won't talk to me about it either and have just decided to be really rude to me, which I'm not happy about.

OH and I also have no gaia friends... I've been on this site for YEARS though... So I'm thinking I'm doing something wrong! BUT when I lived in Singapore I had SO MANY friends and we always went out and had fun together, even when I had a bf. THey say "ditch him!! hang with us!!" and i had NO problem with that.

So LI... what should I do? (Don't just say talk to them btw >< IF that's your suggestion. Say how and when and what i should say cos i have NO frikkin idea)

Original post was on gaia where I was told im being a selfish bitch. constructive advice please Menewsha ><

OH and in case I haven't really been to clear about the whole situation I have bullet points:

Sorry but I don't think you understand the whole situation ><

1. I did make the effort to hang out with them and did suggest to go out as soon as my friend mentions I'm not spending enough time with her. I went out for meals but got utterly ignored (and I'm not the type of person to sit there and expect people to talk to me first)

2. Every time I see my flatmates I stop to say "hey! how are you doing? What have you been up to? You going out tonight?" etc etc etc and I never get the same back.

3.Me and my bf are on really good terms. He wanted to go out with me on my bday but I told him I was out with my girl friend instead. However now she won't go.

4 I'm not saying my friend needs to drop everything. I would really have liked maybe a sorry or I wish I could go, but she didn't seem bothered. Also it's not a job, it's something she could easily do over the weekend.

AND

5. I just want advice on how to talk to these people again when they're doing nothing but ignore me and saying rude things to me.

Advice on how and what and when and where to talk to them?

1: Get them alone. Surely, there ARE times when they're at your house and you're along with them? When they mention doing something, stop them and tell them you need to talk.(That's the when and where that I would use)

2: Be assertive. Do NOT let them weasel out of the conversation. If they try to leave, you really need to find the line between what really constitutes you letting them go and them trying to just get out. Lay down your points and what you're feeling. Pour out your heart. Tell them everything that you wrote here. How you're hurting because of what they're doing. How you thought your boyfriend was the problem, but when you made the effort to change for them, they didn't care.

3: Don't fall for bullcrap. Listen for sincerity in their voice when they talk to you. You also need to find the line between them telling you what you want to hear and what they really mean. Ask them questions about if you've somehow done something wrong(but DON'T accept the blame; no matter what you may have done, it's not your fault at this point because of the way they're treating you). Try to get their side of it.

4: If the conversation ends and nothing gets resolved, then break ties with them. They're not worth being friends with if they know you have a problem and they aren't willing to fix it. They're not friends at all, actually.

Anyways, good luck. :) Feel free to add me and message me anytime you need help. I'm always happy to help anyone.

And let me know how it went.:)