Hey all..
i am kinda going through a bit of trouble here..
Its a long story & I'm not going to bore you with the details.
They will probably arise with any questions you might have...
Basically.

my BF.. I love him soo much. & nothing will change that.
but there are still some issues i haven't let go bout his whore of an ex...


ok.. basic details bout the Ex...

She dated my BF twice back in school, hopping from him to her latest ex, back to him then to her ex again.. them some other guy, back to my BF, & then back to her ex...

About 3 or 4 months after she broke up with my BF.. i came into the picture...
*this was all before year 10... anyways...

she stayed with her current ex for bout 5 years...
but she wasn't faithful at all.
She also caused a lot of problems with me & my BF.. & even caused us to break up once... almost twice...
Because my BF had mixed feelings..
but that was a long time ago & now we are pretty much hard as diamond.

so... anyway..
i still didn't forgive her..
I'm not one to really forgive or forget..
but my BF still wanted to be friends with her..
& i didn't think this was a good idea..

*i don't agree with Exs being friends, I don't think it can work. Especially when both parties are in current relationships.
Mainly cause there will ALWAYS be those feeling there...*

But yes..
I have stressed it over & over again...
& he thinks i dont trust him...
& i think at times i dont..
but its only with her..
There has been doubt in the past *even if it was a while ago* But it was there...
& i hate having that feeling..
I want to trust him... but there is stuff that makes me not want to...
+ i dont want to push him away cause of this...
he says he wont go anywhere.. & that he is sorry.
but i know it annoys him.. & he says it makes him feel miserable bout it.. cause he feels bad bout what he did..
He tells me that i should let it go..
but i want him to as well...

Back on track either way...
With this Ex.. HER ex broke it off, cause she was wanting to move out & have more freedom...
She is a massive town rat & spends all her money on drinking & getting tattoos...
She also apparently told all her friends that she had broken up with her current ex 3 months prior to it actually happening.. & started to date this other guy....
She has led so many people on. Is a complete bitch, whore, slut. But everyone still likes her..
Mainly the guys..
WHY??
she has f**cked them around & they still feel the need to protect her...
Same with my BF...
Not as bad...
but its still there..
Like.. Ok..
the other day..
he drew this awesome picture..
i thought it was soo cool
& then i thought.. wait a minute. that tattoo on her hip.. that's where this chick has one...
& then i thought.. this pic might have been her..
So i asked him & he said it was.. kinda..
Now i know its wrong.. *but i know for a fact it was her, cause she sent her a message on myspace telling her it was*
Yes yes.. parranoid crazy GF bitch here...
I know its wrong to do that. But i just had to know..
& now im kinda really pissed off about it..
Like it is only a pic..
but like come on..
he hasn't don't that before.. & its only a drawing..
doesn't really look like her.. but the tattoo there makes me know he was thinking bout her when he was drawing it..
He has never drawn me like that?

wow.. thats alot..
ill leave it there, & just let the questions come if you want to know anything eles..

but yeah..
Discuss...
Am i being crazy?
is it stupid for me to get worked up about it?
Should he not see/talk to her.. Especially after everything she did to us & to all these other people we know...
Please..
help me out here

First of all, wow... that's a lot of text. Second, I'm a little confused. So your guy may or may not be drawing a picture of a girl he used to date and you don't want them to be friends? I think you might be over-reacting a little (about the picture) but this girl sounds like the kind of person who can drive a lot of good guys to cheat. You should sit your BF down and tell him how worried you are about this. And don't say, "I don't want you to be friends with her anymore," that would start the conversation with his hackles up. Explain that you are worried because she has dated him and stopped and dated him again before. Say that you are genuinely worried. And I'd say hint more that you don't trust her. Keep him on your side.

Well how does that sound?

I know this may not be what you wanna hear, but as much as he says that nothing will happen...
Your relationship has been compromised by this girl twice. Your boyfriend obviously still has feeling for her, though he thinks he can hide them away. Drawing a picture of her? Seems harmless at first. But in reality, thats not harmless. Thats taking the time to think about her, then to physically create a representation of her on a piece of paper. The girl in question is well known for being a town skank (apparently), and skilled at seduction. Your boyfriend likes her. Eventually, something might happen. You have every reason to be untrusting.
But, honey, and this is the part you don't wanna hear, if after (I'm guessing a year or so) of dating this you can't 1. Trust him, and 2. feel like you're constantly having your spotlight taken by this girl, then... why are you still with him?
Your relationship doesn't sound diamond hard. It doesn't even sound rock hard.
It sounds like its wet toilet paper.

Either seriously talk to him about your issues with this, or just get out before you get hurt. Staying quiet and asking the internet if you're 'overreacting' will not take away your personal fear of what this girl will do to your relationship.

@Nezzie- Yeah.. i understand what your getting at...
we have been together for over 5 years now... & all this has really started to happened after the break up shit between her & her BF..
Although.. there was stuff before that...
They haven't seen each other.. & this is the 1st thing that i have actually gotten irritated over in a LONG time...
im talking a year..
Im going to be talking him bout it again when i see him next..
i dont like doing it over the phone or internet.. Its to impersonal i think


@Aakinmytua-ok lol...
He drew this picture of the girl he used to date back in school.
We are both now 20 years old...
It has been along time since school & alot has happened...
I don't think anything will happen.
I just don't like these... *nice* things he keeps doing...
Like its to no other girl.. but only to her...
he knows where i stand...
he knows damn well..
I dont trust her.. I don't like her.. I loath her with my entire being..
& he understands perfectly & he doesn't blame me...
but he doesn't know why he still wants to be her friend...
it really is beyond me..
& i don't want to feel like im stopping him from doing anything..
but when it makes me feel sick, i just cant stand it.
even if it is only a picture...

Originally Posted by Harleyquinn

ok lol...
He drew this picture of the girl he used to date back in school.
We are both now 20 years old...
It has been along time since school & alot has happened...
I don't think anything will happen.
I just don't like these... *nice* things he keeps doing...
Like its to no other girl.. but only to her...
he knows where i stand...
he knows damn well..
I dont trust her.. I don't like her.. I loath her with my entire being..
& he understands perfectly & he doesn't blame me...
but he doesn't know why he still wants to be her friend...
it really is beyond me..
& i don't want to feel like im stopping him from doing anything..
but when it makes me feel sick, i just cant stand it.
even if it is only a picture...

You don't have to trust her. You have to trust your boyfriend.
If you can't do that, then tell him. Explain to him that you simply don't trust him to not go behind your back with this chick.

@Nezzie- yeah...
well nothing like that has happened..
& from what i gather...
He has nothing to offer her.. so she doesn't really want to hang around him...
Hasn't really talked back to him much online...
which is good i guess..
Just irritating that he did that pic...
Or just random compliments..
he thinks that i over react about it..
But its only cause of her..
i have been hurt really bad in the past. & i don't want it to happen again...
so i guess its one of those sit back & watch things...
See how things go.
I do honestly beleive nothing bad will happen...
its just an annoying thing that happens.... Rarely i guess you could say

Originally Posted by Harleyquinn

@Nezzie- yeah...
well nothing like that has happened..
& from what i gather...
He has nothing to offer her.. so she doesn't really want to hang around him...
Hasn't really talked back to him much online...
which is good i guess..
Just irritating that he did that pic...
Or just random compliments..
he thinks that i over react about it..
But its only cause of her..
i have been hurt really bad in the past. & i don't want it to happen again...
so i guess its one of those sit back & watch things...
See how things go.
I do honestly beleive nothing bad will happen...
its just an annoying thing that happens.... Rarely i guess you could say

If this is the first thing in a looooong time thats irritated you...
Hes showing little interest in her...
It was a touch of over reacting. But its understandable. He simply touched your buttons, your weak spot. I have a weak spot with my boyfriend, and I do occasionally over react as well. :(
Just tell him that thats the only real reason you're angry.

@Nezzie- yeah..
i know it was..
i hate it so much though...
i think its cause im insecure bout myself...
like.. ok..
this is one thing that proves to me that nothing would happen..
his next tattoo he is getting. Is a swallow on his chest.. its his symbol for me.
=)
I know this is relationship is in for the long haul.
its just he slips up sometimes..
i guess it also has to do with the fact that this is the 1st relationship i have ever had lol..
& the 1st relationship he has had, where his partner has stood by his side through EVERYTHING
even when he screws up lol.
.......
Like basically..
i would like no contact there lol..
none..
it would make me the happiest girl in the entire world hahaha

Well, he obviously cares for you. Just old habits die hard?

@Akin- yeah i guess so...
Its nothing to get massively worked up about i guess...
Just .. he loves to draw & i really see that in his work..
so when he takes time to draw someone like that.. I guess it just really hurts.. cause it actually is a really good picture.
& i really like it..
i just don't like the meaning behind..
oh well....

Hey..
First of all sorry that youre having so many trouble in your relationship..
The way it sounds to me is that you all have been around each other for quite a while now..
And obviously you dont like the girl.. Which i can totally understand..
But your bf seems to still care about her.. Maybe to make sure shes ok seeing her bad ways..
Guys get like that about girls theyve known for a long time..
But i agree that exxes shouldnt be friends if they still have feelings for each other and are dating others..
Its only going to cause trouble..
I also agree with the advise above stating that you should have a long talk with him..
And try not to get too upset.. which will be tough i know..
But if you get really upset he'll just get upset too and itll probably end in a big fight..
Hope this helped some! :)

@moonfall- Thankyou hun.
that was very helpful.
& i guess the idea that he wants to help her cause of her bad choices is a reasonable one...
but i just don't see why she needs so many people looking out for her...
eh.. i guess i just chose a really nice guy, who can get mixed up in helping others a little to much lol..
He is very generous & doesn't think of himself much...
I guess i just dont want to end up hurt again.
& i probably wont..
i just have to look at the big picture..
he is with me.
He loves me.
& no other..
if he wanted to be with her.. he would have done it already...
There have been many opportunities for him to do it.. but he didn't..
cause he thinks of me & how he doesn't want to hurt me.
That we have been through so much & he doesn't want to throw that all away for some cheap whore that will cheat & leave him anyways lol..
i should feel lucky i guess

Thats right!
If he did want to be with her he probably would be with her..
But hes not and i think you know why..
Because he sees how much trouble that other girl is..
And how much of a cheater/whore/bitch (you name it) she is! Lol..
So why would he give up his love for you and your relationship for that?
I dont think he would :)

yeah.
your right..
It was only a picture i guess lol

We have had soo much fun together & he means the world & more to me.
+ we have been through so much & i have been by his side the whole time.
He wouldn't throw it all aways for a 1 off thing, when he has something secure like what he has now i guess.

Glad to help! :)
And not if he truly wants to be with you no :)

=3
Thanks
I guess i can close this thread now lol.

Anytime! :D