Well I've only come here with an issue once before and while this is completely different from the last, I must say Menewsha is certainly much more helpful than other sites I've been to. (I apologize in the advance for the potential novel.)

To start, I'm in my senior year of high school and I've been with my current boyfriend for nearly three years now. In all of that time I've never had another guy who I've really liked. (and hey, I've even told my boyfriend that I love him and honestly I prefer not to throw the word around carelessly.)

That actually began to change in September or so after this guy (also a senior in my school,) was switched into my fourth hour class. I'd heard his name in a few conversations during the past couple of years and had to admit he was without a doubt very attractive. But I'm freakishly shy and didn't really talk to him for another few weeks. We began talking after a a little class trip out to the football field so my teacher could run an errand when I was walking behind him and a couple of others and actually spoke up when they were talking about something we had in common. After that we talked a little and (I'm in a class of all guys aside from myself and one other girl,) a lot of the guys went to help move a table so he went into the shade and I follow just for hell of it and we continued talking about random things, and I wound up telling him about my boyfriend's mother who works at the school and from there (nobody at school likes her,) our friendship began to form.

Over time we began to become closer and now even though I'm still a little shy around him we can talk about nearly anything and have plenty of awkward conversation, haha. He's one of my best friends now and he has no idea how happy he actually makes me. The problem being: Though he isn't the type of guy who will screw anything that moves, he flirts too much, and I've developed this obnoxious crush on him and though it doesn't affect out friendship (he knows I like him,) it still bothers me a lot. He flirts a lot and we spend a lot of our time flirting, I do it out of habit and I'm actually trying to get out of that habit as I don't want to screw up my relationship. But at the same time when I see him flirting with other girls, it kind of kills me a little inside. (As much as I hate the phrase.) And my boyfriend knows about this obnoxious crush of mine and doesn't hold it against me even though he doesn't like it.

I guess my main issue here is I don't like knowing I have this obnoxious crush on my best friend of all people. Especially because he's such a womanizer. (I mean he makes every girl feel so special when he talks to them and it's ridiculous, heheh.) I don't intend on letting this screw things up with my boyfriend but at the same time it's annoying because this friend of mine happens to be so charming, so attractive, and well I'm not going to say he's perfect, he has his faults all right, the constant womanizing being one of them, but he means a lot to me and I don't want this to mess with our friendship either.

I don't really know much of what to tell you. You're in a difficult situation, and I think you're being very wise about it, not letting it affect your relationship with your boyfriend and intentionally not letting it affect your friendship either.

The heart is a ridiculously fickle contraption that controls our bodies. It does what it wants, and we can't make any conscious changes to it.

I think the only remedy that may work would be to spend a little less time with your friend and a little more time with your boyfriend. I would say distance yourself from your friend for a little while until your crush goes away, but this would undoubtedly hurt your friendship, and may not even prove to get rid of the crush completely.

I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help. :(

I'd sit down and talk to your best friend about it. Tell him to ease down with all the flirting, so that way you won't get really interested in him. But I agree with khboy0. Spend less time with the guy, and more with your boyfriend. But if you know that your best friend is a womanizer, just keep in mind what you said, he makes ever girl feel special. Don't let him make you feel too special.

Sorry I can't much of a help either :/, but I hope that you can figure something out.

If you call him a womanizer solely because he flirts and makes girls feel special...that's a tad dumb. That doesn't make him a womanizer, he may honestly feel that women deserve that kind of respect. I've known plenty of guys who act like that simply because it's just their personality, or they're a tad chivalrous. There's nothing wrong with it. You wouldn't see anything wrong with it if it were just YOU he was flirting with either I assume.

You need to sit down and talk to this friend of yours and you need to talk to your boyfriend. You might think, he might even say, that he's ok with it, but I can assure you, he isn't. Even if he IS ok with it, I would then question how serious he is taking your relationship together. If you have any respect for him you will decide which one of them you want to be with. It's not fair to your boyfriend for you to go around mooning over someone else and it's not fair to yourself to be undecided between the two boys.

I once had to deal with a similar situation as you, but I didn't have a boyfriend at the time. I was in my, I think, my freshman year of high school. There was this guy, Nick, who I had English and Gym with. He sat behind me in English and I'd never really gotten to know him. (it was a small town) Well, we started to get to know one another, and we became great friends right away. He was really nice, funny, and a tad corny, he was even cute; and he flirted with me constantly. My girlfriends that had Gym class with us constantly told me that's just how he acts around all the girls and to not get my hopes up. One of my male friends though kept telling me that he was totally into me. There was one time, when we were running the mile, that after he finished he came and ran my last lap with me to keep me company. Looking back, there were things he wouldn't have done had he not been, I just didn't realize it at the time. Anyways though, with the doubts my friends were feeding me and being shy myself (never having had a boy like me in that way before), I never asked him out and wanted him to since I was unsure of the situation. I asked him to go to a dance with me but his parents are very religious and wouldn't let him go. Anyways, there was another guy that I had study hall with that was cute and we got along, though I didn't like him nearly as much as Nick. He ended up asking me out first, so I figured I'd date him. He turned out to be an asshole and dumped me on my birthday! D: While we were dating though, Nick continued to flirt with me and at one point I had to tell him to please stop as I had a boyfriend. (stupid me) He did and it made me kind of sad. :( I still wonder to this day what would have happened if I'd just waited a bit longer and asked Nick out. I suggest you make sure you don't suffer this same thing and set things straight with your boyfriend and with this friend of yours.

I would try a little space. Unless you want to take a chance on a relationship. Talking to him might help. Get his honest opinion and have no more doubt.

Ahhh the unobtainable male. I tell you, you're just in love with the idea of him being such a mysterious and aloof character. A part of you might even think if you were with him, you could change the habits that annoy you and make it work for the two of you even more.

I think it's a case of the grass being greener, and also you've hit that benchmark in a relationship (with your current boyfriend) where things feel so comfortable and you loose that edge you have when you first begin a relationship. You're young though, and I think that whether or not you decide to stick with him is obviously up to you but just know that it isn't uncommon to be with someone for a length of time like that and feel it kinda fizzle out.

What I wouldn't do though is tell your current boyfriend about your crush, unless you really want to further complicate the relationship or want to break up. :/