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Friendship and Backstabbing People, Oh and Shattered Confidence
I am having a problem with a "friend" of mine. 3 years ago I saw this girl I kind of knew, called Ellie, sitting there looking thoroughly upset. So I went to her and asked what was wrong, and she told me that her best friend had been mean to her. Ellie and I then became best friends. We were inseperable. But two years later, Ellie started changing. She started lying to me, snapping at me and when I told her she'd changed she snapped at me, telling me that she wasn't the only one who had changed. 'Course I was a little taken aback and didn't know what to say and later on I apologised and she told me that I should be sorry and that I should feel guilty. Bit by bit, my shield of confidence was getting some serious cracks. Nevertheless I made new friends. But I got in a serious fight with Ellie and she went off with a good friend of mine, leaving me behind feeling terrible and disgusting. To cut a looong story short, Ellie has a knack for making people feel guilty and for making people apologise for something that wasn't their fault. And now... I want to free myself of her. She keeps leaving me behind, mocking me, lying and she knows how much I hate being lied to. And she'll lie about unecessary things and then claim that she's telling the truth. She's ruined my confidence, I don't believe in myself anymore and sometimes I question if my friends actually like me, or if they're just pretending. Has that ever happened to you? What did you do to get back on track? |
This might get moved to "life issues", just a heads up there
But from the sound of it, Ellie is just trying to blame you, so that way she can hide from what she has done. Though if you have friends that repeatedly do that to you, it's best to just leave them behind. And if you are going to leave her behind, it's best to tell her everything to her first, then leave her behind. It may seem a bit heartless, but it sounds like she is being the heartless one. |
Sadly it hasn't happened to me but i'm sorry it's happened to you. Don't let her get you too down, she has no right to even call you a friend anymore!
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I only have one friend I hang out with when I get the chance too. I would be quite piss if she did that too me. But she hasn't and I thought about that if she had or what not. I know she won't but it'd hurt if she did. :D
I am sorry to hear that story of yours. I guess all you can do is break it off with her. No contacts or whatever. Delete her from everything you do in your daily life. Mmmm...sorry I can't give you GOOD advice. Never had this problem...xD |
The best thing you can do is move on with your life, with friends like that who needs enemies?
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Anyone who leaves you behind without good reason, mocks, or lies to you is not a real friend! you are better than that and dont need someone to make you feel less confident.
I had a similar experience with a couple of my ex-friends, I try to accept everyone and give everyone a chance no matter how they are because you never know how a person can be untill you really get to know them well i got to know a couple of girls at different times who would do all of that to either me or one of my best friends but still act like the best of friends.... soon their habits made me go nuts i couldnt stand to be around them anymore and one of them even tried to fight me when i broke off the friendship... i cannot stand it when somebody claims to be your friend but will turn around and stab you in the back without reason |
To be honest I havn't gotten back. I was seriously lied to and abused by a boyfriend and then when I went to my best friend for support and protection we ended up getting in a huge fight and I was homeless...still am of sorts. But The thing is I gave everything I had to this person and they ran me into the ground and I'm not sure how to get back up.
I feel like there is no one to trust outside of family and they are hundreds of miles away! So I guess I just have to grow up a bit and hope to find my faith again. I hope you find yours soon. |
Moved from General Discussion to Life Issues
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I think you should just move on and make new friends and let her go on playing her mind games with people who are willing to put up with it. I wouldn't bad mouth her or hold any grudges...just move on.
People who do stuff like that have issues, and while you could try to have a 'heart to heart' about the issue I don't know if it would make much difference. If she approaches you about your sudden distance you've put between them then I'd let her know how you feel. I've had a couple of people who have really started to pull me down with them, and it was just a matter of putting that distance and finding other people to talk to and hang out with. |
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