So I never thought my heart would be broken twice by the same guy.... and i dont understand why at all! the first time there was a good reason behind it but now he is just contradicting himself.... I wish i could fix this but i know he has made up his mind...

being the second time my heart has been broken ever... i still dont know what to do with myself!

I couldnt make him happy i guess... but i am only home 2 days a week and those two days hes working so its hard to tell what actually went wrong.... he just told me he still cares about me alot but he cant see us being together... he also told me hes not happy right now, and when i asked him what i was doing wrong... he told me nothing! i pressed on that subject because i couldnt believe i wasnt doing something to make him unhappy but he just insisted that i hadnt done anything and he just needs to get his life back on track....

I could barely ask him anything else though because my words would just get caught in my throat so i started writing it out... this is the letter i gave to him...

-I never thought my heart could ever be broken I didnt think it would happen twice... But this time I just dont understand. I want so badly to fix this, I wish i could make you happy. im so sorry I let you down. But I hope you can be happy without me. I know that I will not be able to be happy without you for a long time. I still love you so much please dont think I hate you because of this. This is tearing me apart and it hurts to think this time i probably wont get to see you again. I wish I could see you even though it would be hard but im sure you will be too busy... so please dont tell me we can still hang out and see how it goes in 6 months if you dont mean it. You made me happier than you could ever know. I am so sorry I couldnt do the same for you... I will never find someone as wonderful as you. I feel so pathetic that I cant even get these words out. I am going to miss the wonderful feeling I get when I see your face, when you kiss me, hug me, or hold me. Im sorry you have to read this but i just needed you to know. I wish we could make this work, but you probably have your mind made up. I miss you already, I wish this wasnt happening again. I want so badly to turn back time so i could figure this out. I dont expect this letter to make a difference at all and im sorry if i just seem pathetic writing all of this out. I just needed you to know how i feel.. I love you-

I am utterly lost in my thoughts... im so confused.... I have not gotten a good reason for this

he just is saying he doesnt want to lead me on because he isnt 100% sure this will work for us in the future....

This guy has talked to me about marriage and children and so much and he said it with such passion...

our relationship seemed to be so great! i dont understand what went wrong....

What i really need right now though is someone to talk to... none of my friends have been any help to me all they can say is "im so sorry im here for you" but thats about it!

the only person that has actually talked to me about this is my dad and its strange because me and my dad have more of a "professional" relationship then a father and daughter one... i have never been able to talk to him about anything in my life like this... but right now he is the only one i have been able to talk to

So please if anyone can help me out i just need to know if anyone can give me insight on this, if anyone has had a similar experience and can maybe give me ideas as to why this is happening...

*hugs*

I know how you feel love. My 2nd boyfriend, I swore I'd do anything for him, and I let him break my heart twice.

The only thing you can do is move on. After he broke my heart the 2nd time, I really got into making amv's. Something about the repetitive motions and creativity seemed to set my mind at some ease.
Eventually I got over him, and I'm now with my current boyfriend.

Feel greatful that you can talk to your dad. I had no one but my diary. My dads a trucker (thus never home), my mom didn't approve. And I didn't want to let my siblings in that much. I always brushed it off as no big deal to my friends, but it nearly killed me...

I'm just glad, that I didn't let my depression hurt me. *hugs* trust me love. I know it hurts, but try to find something else to fill your heart... Some one is ok, but I suggest an activity, or else you risk hurting your new love like your old one hurt you.

I agree with the above post.

So did you give him the letter? Because only he could possibly tell you why he broke-up with you. None of us know him and could not tell you his reasonings behind this.

Men have a lot of trouble when it comes to emotional confrontation. They don't know how to handle it and they're not used to talking about their feelings, so they often will be vague and not give explanations for things like this because they don't know how. They aren't used to expressing feelings since it's not encouraged for them to do so in our culture. That's all I can tell you.

I think that the main issue that comes into play right now is communication. I think that the best thing you can do when it comes to a boy is be simple, and straight forward, ask him simple questions and LET him speak. It doesn't matter if what he's saying is wrong, if you let him talk, he can get out what he thinks, what he sees, and what he feels, and wants he's opened up, I'd like to hope that your words if well chosen will be highly affective in easing things between you two. I don't know however; I have a way of telling other people the right thing and not knowing what to do myself. I hope this is advice that will be affective in that fashion, and will help you to find closure or make up with your boyfriend.

thank you all for replying

@Syraannabelle: I feel very grateful for my dad right now its hard though because when it comes to times like this i just really need someone to talk to me who relates to this, im sure hes gone through this when he was younger but his viewpoints on it are so different from girls closer to my age >.< I really hope i can find something to fill my heart i need something because i am going to be feeling this for a long time =(

@The enchanted tiara: Yea i gave him the letter and he still couldnt tell me much more... he isnt giving me the best reasons as to why hes doing it but he usually is a very straight foreward person hes one of the odd ones that doesnt usually have a hard time giving explanations.... but now he just turned into the average guy that cant confront this =/ if he ever does tell me a better reason i'll post it here

@PomeDD: yea our communication isnt there at all right now even though we never had a problem with it before... we usually have great communication but this time he doesnt even want to respond to my small questions... he cant even look at me... but im gonna keep trying i hope it will work if not then i just have to do my best to move on

Take some time and step back. If you have broken up twice things arent going well in the relationship. Maybe you both need some time. If you are really going to lose him you already have, so dont think that if you take a break you will lose him for it. Broken hearts are what makes you realize the wonder of love when you do find the right one. Its not easy to go through it twice with the same person. But things do get better. You may want to take this time to give yourself some room to decide if he really is the one for you. Someone who truly loves you wont keep hurting you.

Hey. Ok my reply is going to be a little different from the others. I went through a very similar situation - except that I was the heart breaker. My story is pretty crazy but im going to try to keep it short. Basically I met a guy. The first guy ive ever had a relationship with. And I fell in love. Like love love. Serious, head spinning love. And I was terrified. I was so scared of letting him in. Id never even been in a relationship with anyone before! So after tons of worrying and feeling like i was going to explode, I some how managed to convince myself that I didn't really love him, I was just a silly kid. And so I broke his heart. After a while we became friends again and I started realizing that I was still totally in love with him. We decided to try again. Then I spent a week away at a camp and was able to convince myself yet again that I wasn't in love. So I broke his heart again. All because I was afraid letting him in, of him being so close to me, of love. I probably gave him some lame excuse when I broke up with him. And it wasn't his fault at all.
Maybe it's the same with your boyfriend. Maybe he's afraid. If I were you I would make it as clear as possible that you are always there for him and try giving him a little time to think about what he's doing. I really hope everything works out great for you and your broken heart mends quickly. I know how it feels, having broken my own heart when I broke his. Sorry this was so long. The best of luck to you!

Thanks so much for all your advice and just talking to me it helps!

So heres an update things are still really confusing...

Well last night I ended up going with him and all my roomys to the bar, we had a really good time, it was the happiest I have been in a while since I was done with work and could get out again and have some fun.. anyways after the night was done and it was just me and him we started talking again and he opened up alot about what he was feeling...

He felt that he could not make me happy and because of that he couldnt make himself happy and he doesnt want both of us to be feeling down because of one another, which I understand because we both were working alot for the past two months... anyways he was really happy that I came out with everyone last night and told me thats how he remembers us and he just wants it to be like that he was telling me he still loves me, but we are not actually back together, we are going to take it slow again. we are going to go out on a date once a week and work on ourselves instead of on each other... Im still moving out because we both agree it might be easier on our relationship if we are living in different houses

it still confuses me actually but I hope its going to work out because I really love him. and I still feel my heartbreak but hopefully that will go away soon...