I really don't know why I can't seem to get a guy. Maybe I'm just too picky or something. Well I guess it doesn't help that the boys used to tease me a lot when I was younger, so I tend to get a little defensive when people are just joking around. I'm getting to a certain point that I'm starting to think maybe it's not them, maybe it's me. Maybe I'm just too weird for them or something. But I seem to keep attracting the creeps. Is there something wrong with me that is keeping me from finding a decent guy? Maybe it's because I can't flirt worth shit. Also I'm really thick when it comes to this sort of thing. Seriously if a guy were interested he would have to hit me over the head with a boquet of roses before I got the hint. Ok I might be exageratting a bit but seriously I am really thick about things like flirting and romance. So if anyone could possibly give me some flirting tips that would be awesome.

Don't be afraid to be vulnerable first of all. The more chances you take in romance, the more likely you are to find happiness. Relationships take being vulnerable and taking risks to happen at all. It might work out, it might not, but it's worth a try. Because if you don't try, then you'll never give love the chance to succeed at all.

Secondly, who are these "creeps"? Are they guys you dated or just guys who have asked you out? And take a second look at some of them if they are just guys who asked you out. Some really sweet guys are incredibly stupid when they first approach a girl because they don't know how. They feel awkward and inferior to her, so they'll say something stupid. As long as they weren't being pervs and acting like they just wanted to use you, I'd say they are worth at least giving a little bit of a chance.

If they are guys you dated on the other hand. Well, first of all, this is just how relationships work. You have a bunch of crappy ones that don't work out, until you get that guy that DOES. Because if they did work out, then you wouldn't break up and you'd get married and be happy. And that only happens once, often after a string of horrible relationships. It happens to almost everyone (except for the lucky few who hit the jackpot on the first try.) Because all relationships are failures until you find true love, that's the successful one.

If you're dating guys and/or guys are hitting on you, then don't worry about it too much. You're young. Let life happen to you. There's lots of girls out there, who no guy will even look twice at (I was one of them for a long time.) If you're dating or at least being flirted with then you have a chance of finding love (if you're patient) because you're meeting new people. And with each new person, comes a possibility for happiness if you keep searching.

Here's the problem though, I'm not dating at all. And the creeps I'm talking about are guys who are waaaaaaay older than me and guys who just give off this creepy vibe. I don't know how to explain it with typed words but it's kinda like there are just some people that give you this really bad feeling, you know? Those are the guys who keep asking me out. It just feels like everyone around me is finding love so easily and I'm just flying under Cupids radar or something. I've never had a steady boyfriend and everyone else around me has these ongoing relationships. I'm just sick of being alone.

Well, first of all.. How old are you? If you're in middle school or even high school, I wouldn't really be too worried about everyone else finding "love". It's just puppy love and will generally either end in a week or simply won't be long term. It's very rare for anyone to stay with their high school sweetheart and even more rare for middle school sweethearts to work out. Everyone is just in a rush to validate themselves with a relationship these days.

And second.. Why do you want a relationship? Because everyone else does? I'm not saying it's bad to emulate your friends, but sometimes it's just not the best idea. Why not focus on your friends? Hobbies? Or just something that generally makes you happy?

But if you're deadset on finding a relationship.. My best advice is stop looking for a relationship. The happier and brighter you are on your own, the easier it's going to be to attract some of the better guys. They're drawn to outgoing, charismatic girls for the most part. If you can have enough confidence in yourself and your own happiness to say 'I don't NEED a relationship right now', chances are, the boys will start lining up at your door. And not just the creepy ones either.

Originally Posted by Lore

Well, first of all.. How old are you?

I am in college and I've tried being myself around other guys but I think I'm just too weird for them or something. And it's not like I'm looking just because other people have found love. I do want a genuine relationship. I'm just sick of feeling inadequate because I havent found a guy yet. Also I'm sick of all the PDAs I see every day. Not that they are a bad thing, I'm just getting annoyed.

Stop calling yourself weird. Guys are attracted to girls that are confident and happy with themselves.

I remember studying my friends in high school. I had a friend who was really tall, freckles all over, squinty eyes, and huge feet. Sounds unattractive, huh?! Except that she was the one of my group with all the boyfriends and all the guys constantly fighting for her affection.

And then I remember looking at my very shy friend. She was gorgeous. Big beautiful eyes and long silky hair and naturally tan skin . . . . . . . And I was always like,"Huh, why does she never have guys asking her out?"

This is what separated them two . . . . . . . . My first friend was confident about herself and my second was extremely insecure. You have to convince yourself that you'll make some guy really happy if he's lucky enough to have you and look and act that way as well. That's how you do it. Guys can tell when a girl feels good about themselves and when she doesn't and they have trouble respecting or desiring the girls that don't.

And I was older than you when I got my first boyfriend. Not by much, but I was 19 years old when I got my first boyfriend. I was afraid that I'd never get one, but I did.

And I'm extremely weird myself. Like, for instance, I am extremely clumsy and I have no table manners. I'm clumsy enough that I get clumsy at the table. Whenever I eat spaghetti, I have to change my shirt because it got all over my shirt for instance. I get food on my fingers and on my face and nose all the time. It's . . . . . . gross. And my Mom was always like,"You'll never get a boyfriend with your table manners." And I'd try really hard to fix them, but I was always the same. I just can't do it.

And yet, I've been dating my boyfriend for over 4 years now and he has witnessed my table manners and he actually thinks they are cute. He has nicknamed me his "little barbarian." LOL.

Trust me, there's a guy out there who could find anything that you do and any quirks that you have to be adorable.

I am right there on the same page next to you. Guys have never really noticed me in that way, a lot teased me in grade school. Now in college I am invisible. I sometimes wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I am a girl who hates looking like one. I wear t-shirts and pants, and never make-up. Guys are pretty shallow after all, but somehow I hold out hope for that rare sensitive guy who will take me as I am. Who won't give a damn that I don't look like a girl, I would still be the most beautiful thing in his world.

But apparently he's not in my world, or in my college anyway. And yes it hurts, in fact when I first heard Brain White's 'Someone Else's Star' I cried almost to sobbing because that song IS me.
"Everywhere I look it's lovers that I see. Seems like everyone's in love, everyone but me.
....why can't I be as lucky as those other people are. I guess I must be wishing on someone else's star."
Google the rest if you want.

I won't change for anybody certainly not a man, and so I must wait for that rare man who will find beauty and amazement in the natural girl, in jeans and a t-shirt who has the ability to speak with nice sounding vocabulary and moral. But I do sometimes wonder if there is anyone out there meant for me. How much longer will I have to wait for him?

A relationship just kinda happens...when you least expect it. I have a friend who is in her mid thirties and never been married, or had kids and she's always so bummed out about it. She's a really fun person to hang out with, and she's pretty, so the only thing that I can think of is she just tries to hard.

The best thing you can do is just be yourself and not worry about being in a relationship.

I'm wondering though...what age are these older guys? If they weren't giving out bad vibes I'd say you shouldn't dismiss someone over age -- older men tend to be more mature, especially at your age. They've been around the block and have (hopefully) learned from their mistakes. My husband is 5 years older than me, and to be honest the older you get the less it really matters about age gaps.

You don't want to be with someone too older than you though because then interest differences will tear you apart. I know this because I just described my parents. Twenty years apart in age and my mom lost that lovin' feeling when I was three.

Personally despite that I have an idea of my ideal man I also kind of expect the unexpected because I believe the true person for you is the one you are not looking for.

I say not to worry about it. you know, yea valentimes days is coming up but.
thats one of the most worthless holiday.
Love well come in timefor now just have fun ^^

Yeah Valentines day is nothing to fuss over, it usually just a day for me. Its mostly a marketing holiday anyway.

Izumi, the guys I'm talking about are like in they're 30's and I'm just barely 19. I not completely ruling out older guys but anything over 10 years is just too much of a difference for me at least. And as far as Valentine's Day goes, It's SAD for me (Single Awareness Day). All because chocolate and candy companies needed another holiday where they could cash in on our need for sugar. Apparently Halloween isn't enough for those money groping jerks. XD!!

All I can say, is just be patient. Im in the same boat(just instead of boyfriend, girlfriend). It will happen when it does. Though it does suck, because there is never anyone to share those romantic times with. And I hate going to the movies with my friends if they are bringing their sinificant others. Out of the group, Im the only single one, and all their girlfriends keep trying to set me up on blind dates(which all of my guy friends know is a bad idea). And I end up saying I need to go to the washroom, and sit somewhere else during the movie so that Im not nagged by any of them.

@Drac: that sucks that your friends are trying to force relationships on you. I am glad my friends don't do that in fact except for my best friend who has a boyfriend neither of the other two I see most really care about boys. One of them even cut her hair because she didn't like being called sexy due to her long hair. I personally don't understand that but *shrug*.

But yeah my best friend sometimes nags me to talk to people(and not just boys but people in my college in general because I have no friends in college) but she would never force me on some guy. And I don't agree with the idea of blinds dates I want to have talked to a guy some before going out with him.

Yeah, thats kind of why I make sure that the movie nights are either, guys only, or I bring along my friend who is like a sister to me and we talk to each other, and ignore everyone else. It usually works...but they have started to catch on that nothing will ever happen between us(she is currently engaged...or was last I heard).