When asked if I have ever wondered where I went wrong with my life I have this to say:

Well I didn't really do anything to mess up my life or anything. I have no friends to hang out and I tried to talk to one from high school about that, but it didn't happen. I didn't really get to hang out with friends in high school. Just might as well say I've never really had friends to begin with. It's not really my fault, it's theirs. Once we got in high school they stopped acting like friends to me, but they acted like friends with each other. So basically all through my high school life and now I've been friendless and alone. My school was small so there wasn't anyone in the school that would actually act like a friend toward me and be a real friend. Most everyone had something negative to say about me. So now I'm very lonely and sad and many times just wanted die. Part of who I am and the way I act, all shy and such, as to do with the people around me. No one seems to really listen to me and that started about the time I got in high school. Why talk if no one's going to listen to you? I really don't think I used to be as shy as I am now when I was younger. A bunch of negativity, no one listening to me, and no one talking to me as made me stop talking as much and just made it much harder for me. No one in my house, or my family in general, really seems interested in what I want to as far as college goes. It's like they don't care when they told me when I was younger that they wanted me to go to college. I want to go to college, but if the people close to me isn't interested or acts like they want to help in the little ways they can then just discourages me. I think I was basically told that I most likely won't be going to the university I want to go to because "I can't afford it." I can't afford this community college either, I'm only going because of financial aid. It's not even where I really want to be, I'm only going because it should help me get into the university I want to go to. If I don't do this college thing then that will be where I really went wrong in my life, but part of the reason would be because of the people around me. I can't do anything and I probably never really will get to the university I want because I have no help when I really can receive it because no one seems to interested in what I want to do with my life now.


I can't drive because I believe it's best that I don't. Too many people around me have some form of road rage and since I partly get my anger issues from them because they act too angry sometimes and have most likely done it ever since I was born. So I would end up with some form of road rage as well. It may not end up well for me either. My mind also wonders a lot when I'm riding in the car and other places as well. It doesn't take long for me to end up blocking things out and not being fully aware of what's going on around me. That's not very good for when driving. I'd be a pretty distracted driver and it's just better for my safety and others that I stay off the road.

I have something that effects the nervous system, soft tissue, and bone and probably also aids in my shyness. It affects my math skills and other things that are important to making me an intelligent individual. I think I'm intelligent just not as much as I can be. What I have can cause me to get cancer I'm sure or just end up killing me own it's own. Though that's just the worse case, it's rare, but it can still happen. There are two types of what I have and i have both so that's just a bunch of things that can cause harm and affect my learning ability and other such stuff. It's not causing me any major health problems that I know of, but I still feel like it is affecting me. I feel stupid a lot and stuff. I guess I'm living normally with it, but I feel that it's part of my problem with things.


So it's not really where I went wrong with my life, but where my mother went wrong. I really feel like I shouldn't be here and think it would just be better if I was never born. My mother didn't even really want me. I don't even live with my mother, I live with my grandparents.


I just feel worthless and I'm a bit miserable.

well :) first of all , i want to say sorry - i didnt read all of yer post .. but i guess yer problem is feeling miserable and worthless ?

All you have to do is --
THINK POSITIVE - and think things that you can or may do :]
like joining youth clubs or like helping online :]

and don't think yer problems or negatives ..
cause it'll bring you down ..

yess sometimes it is boring - but someday you'll get used to it ..
you'll be respected and who know .. maybe someday what you doing is . uhmm..
what's the term again ?! awccchh -- well yea that ..
and yeah that's all of it i guess ..

also make yer life exciting by spreading love to everyone ..
:] cause you'll never know ..
one day -- tee heee ..

oyea - that is my advice :)
it is yer decision if yer gonna mind it or not ..
but if ever im in that situation ..
ill do it ! :]

:vicky: I'm ada by the ways ..

That's ok, it is a lot to read.

Yes it is pretty much and my whole post pretty much explains why, lol.

Some of what you said is a little hard to understand. I do understand that you're saying to think positive, that's a little hard to do right now but I will try.

There isn't any youth clubs around here. I'm 20, will be 21 in November so it seems like I'm a little too old for youth clubs, maybe not though. Doesn't matter about that any way because like I said there isn't any youth clubs around here. Where I live sucks and hardly has any fun places to hang out.

hmm hmm :] sorry ..
im bad at english soo yeaa ..
i mean here online .. like what i am doing .. trying to help people ..
cause i am in pain too .. soo i know how much people posting here are in need

:] tee hee hee .. are you studying by the ways ? if you are ..
then focus on yer studies !

Ah ok.

Oh ok. I don't think I'm very good at giving advice.

At the moment no. I'm not in any school right now. The class I needed at the college I don't even want to be at was full and there was nothing else for me to take. I need my high school transcript so I can try to apply at the university I want to go to, but my high school combined with another one so my high school is no more.

tee hee hee :) its fine ..
as long as i can help :]

there you go .. you'll be in school in no time ..
i know your application will be accepted ..
:] treasure this opportunity ..

and make yer life better .. right right ?

and i cant believe that a 20 year old will listen to a 13 year old's advice . :]
tee hee hee ..
thank you for lending me your ear ..

But if the school doesn't have it I won't be. They should though, they better anyway and they better send it like they're supposed to.

Yes it will start to make my life better. I will be able to be away from home which I really think will help me. Being so far away from that I have to stay on campus should help me out a bit. I should be able to make friends easier because I'll have roommates and being away from home should help me grow as a person and hopefully help me out of my shyness.

It's just that people around me don't seem to care what I want and can't seem to see that I really want to go the university I want. I need a little help from them for some things, but they don't seem interested.

Well your age has nothing to do with your ability to give me advice on what I need advice for or really for anything in this forum that I've seen.

You're welcome.

that's the spirit! :] tee hee hee .. well thank you! :) again .. hihi ..
oyeaaa .. you can do it! i know you can ..

if you think that's a good thing for you :)
do it ..

tee hee ..

I'm trying to do it, lol.

Thank you.

Well, I've had those same problems. As far as driving, I'm an young adult who has never learned to drive and mangages to ride the bus, or pay my boyfriend for gas. I have a lot of anxiety about driving, and have never even tried. I have few friends and a boyfriend and my family to spend time with. I don't think you'll need too many friends to enjoy your life, especially since it seems that you're an introvert ( I am too mainly). Also, I think there are many different kinds of intelligence, math being one. I am nearly retarded in the area of math! lol seriously. So, there must be some other type of intelligence that you have. Sometimes it takes time to find it, be patient. If you ever want to talk feel free to mail me on here or drop me a comment. You're probably a much better person than you think.

Yeah I have a lot of anxiety about driving as well. I want to live in the city. That way I can ride a bus, catch a cab, ride a bike, or walk to where I want to go. If I had to I would pay someone I know gas money to get to where I'm going. I think it would save a little bit of money as well maybe not but if you don't have a car payment, insurance, and gas money to do then it does seem like it would save a little money.

I don't want too many friends, I know I could be happy with one or two or even just one. What gives you the impression I'm an introvert? lol, yeah I know, but I think what I have does affect my math skills a little because sometimes simple math is too hard for me. Though that could be because I haven't done it in a while because of all the algebra and higher math crap, lol. I guess once I'm away from that type of math and can start doing simple math again it will be easy again. I'm not going into a field where I really need this higher math. I believe that for my future job all I'll need to know how to do is add, subtract, multiply, and divide. None of this find X, graph, find the area, and other stuff.

Yeah I guess I just have to find what I'm really good at and will be smarter in.

Thank you and I'll do that.

I can't do simple math either.