Okay, so my boyfriend has this ex who will not stop calling him. She refuses to leave him alone. Usually, this wouldn't bother me that much because I know he has no control over what she does. But recently he has asked me to move in with him and I would love to, but she has a habit of showing up at his house randomly, and I don't know if I could handle not harming her in some way. I only have this violent nature towards her because she is doing most of this on purpose. She straight out told him that she doesn't want him with anyone else, she wants him to wait til she's ready to take him back. And it isn't going to happen. She directly attacks me in texts and proceeds to target me when he does answer her calls.

I would like to know if anyone has any suggestions as to how I should handle this situation.

Well first, try to remember that a text is just a text! Water off the duck's back!

Talk to him about it and see what he is willing to do. Moving in together is a big step and with a problem like this, it would not be wise to act alone. Maybe he can change his number, maybe you guys can move in to a gated apartment complex. See what solutions you come up with as a team.

What she is doing is borderline - if not out right - harassment. If push comes to shove, you can always get the police involved. Restraining orders are also very easy to file.

*nods in agreement* I'd agree with a restraining order as well. From the sounds of it, just talking with the girl isn't going to work. You definitely want to get your boyfriend behind you though. It'd make things easier.

Maybe his ex isn't the problem, he is.

I don't know if maybe he has done this already and you just forgot to mention it, but think about it; he's not exactly defending you from a person that makes you feel uncomfortable.

I'd like to know how many times he has verbally told her that she needs to leave you both alone. And for another thing, her showing up at his house is just WRONG, and he should know that. What's worse is that it hurts you, but he still allows that behavior to continue.

It's not your job (and it shouldn't be), to tell his ex that she MUST move on.
It's not okay for her to target you, and it isn't okay for her to be in your lives without both of your permissions.

You need to get this girl off your back, but you shouldn't be the one to do anything about it yet. Your boy is the one who needs to tell her to back off. Why hasn't he? I mean, has he really tried to make her go away? Maybe he's going way too easy on her because if he's been blunt and right to the point then the only reason she'd stick around means she's a crazy person.
If he was totally on your side and over his ex it'll be obvious, believe me.

Don't be ashamed to be completely honest with him about it either even if you think you might sound like a jealous and paranoid girlfriend! This is no joke and you have the right to be threatened! This is your man and if you really want to keep this guy then it's important to fight for a relationship. Do not duck and hide then wait until something like this blows over. As you can see his ex, even if she does seem crazy, is trying her best to keep her claws in him. You should be doing your best to remind your boyfriend why he chose you over his ex.
If your guy doesn't understand this then, like Deviant says, he might be the problem.

If the situation is truly as bad as you are describing it falls under the legal definition for harassment. Just go to your local police department and file charges on her for said crime. Once you file the report you can file for a restraining order. That way you are legally protected from further conflict.

You do not want to appear in any way an instigator or aggressor or she could flip it that you are the one doing the harassment. It may seem extreme, but laws where made for a reason.

move in with him it will piss her off and i bet you would love to see that piss her off ;) than of course there is your want for blood ( i don't care to much but jail time for assault is no fun) and than when she does decide to pop in DO NOT ANSWER just close the blinds turn off the lights and laugh at her as she tries to open the door or force her way in, or OR.... when she refuses to leave call the police MWAHAHAHAHAHA *manic laughter*

Is the guy's name Tom? Sorry, my friend's current has that issue with his ex-girl but I'm starting to think Tom is the psychopath.

Anyways! This is what 9 million websites told Tom to do!
Stop all contact on your part.
Have him block her number.
Get a restraining order.

Thank you all for your suggestions.
Some were quite...amusing...to say the least. lol

But the issue has been solved. And it was much easier than I thought it would be.

^.^

Since the issue has been resolved I'm going to go ahead and lock this up, Amaya, feel free to pm me if the issue pops up again and you want me to reopen this. :)