Life as a teenager, is not all that adults think it is. There favorite saying "when i was your age" isnt acceptable anymore. So many things have changed, and my dad thinks he knows everything. He thinks he knows about what its like to be a teenager, most adults do, but times have changed. Third graders are now learning things i didnt learn till 6th grade. With a new pull on society to be smarter, and skinnyer no kid can fit in. Also getting pregnant at 16 or even younger is acceptable by society. I mean they even have a show about it. It should be ok, but we are promoting it. The constant struggle to fit in is at an all time high. its rediculous. They dont know about our life.

Um, welcome to Menewsha. I'm sure you can find a suitable thread elsewhere for this topic, but how about telling a little about yourself here?

Yes, I agree! xD
Although you are telling us about your feelings towards the matter, that's a topic for the "Life Issues" section in the "General" forum. lol

Tell us about yourself in regards to hobbies or something~ :P

Since this isn't a Fresh Meat thread, I've gone ahead and moved it to the General Discussion forum. :3

I'm 32, and I still remember being a teen. I think that one thing that happens to a lot of adults is that they lose track of how hard things were when they were still new. Once upon a time my school work was hard, but it's hard for me to remember that because it comes easily now that I've learned it all. Once upon a time, love was insanely hard, but that was because it was new and uncharted territory and we were sailing strait into that storm with all of the other teens with no compass to speak of. One thing I hope I never lose track of, is that life is hard. It doesn't matter if you're a second grader trying your best to figure out how to do a complicated (32+17=) math problem, or an adult trying to make a working budget so you can pull your family out of a slump. It's all hard, but it's all worth it. Life is good. :)

I have a problem with what you're saying on pregnancy at sixteen being acceptable...yes...well...it's almost always been acceptable, dear. In fact not just acceptable, but expected. It is only in the past forty to thirty years that pregnancy at sixteen has been a weird and terrible thing for a teenager. Maybe less. The stigma that it has today is new.

BUT, forgetting that. Acceptable? Hardly. Are you aware of how much crap the shows on T.V. get for even existing/ "promoting" teenage pregnancy? Let alone -anyone- gets for promoting such stupidity?

The struggle to fit in also isn't at an all time high. It's not a new concept that teenagers always try to fit in and almost all of them are a carbon copy of somebody else because they're so unoriginal and brainwashed by the media.

Adults are aware of exactly what it is like to be a teenager in most cases. The crap that they went through in trying to "discover" themselves is the exact crap that we're going through placed in a different time period with different events. Whether or not they like to admit that they know what we're going through is their own choice, however.

Originally Posted by ElysiumFate

I have a problem with what you're saying on pregnancy at sixteen being acceptable...yes...well...it's almost always been acceptable, dear. In fact not just acceptable, but expected. It is only in the past forty to thirty years that pregnancy at sixteen has been a weird and terrible thing for a teenager. Maybe less. The stigma that it has today is new.

BUT, forgetting that. Acceptable? Hardly. Are you aware of how much crap the shows on T.V. get for even existing/ "promoting" teenage pregnancy? Let alone -anyone- gets for promoting such stupidity?

The struggle to fit in also isn't at an all time high. It's not a new concept that teenagers always try to fit in and almost all of them are a carbon copy of somebody else because they're so unoriginal and brainwashed by the media.

Adults are aware of exactly what it is like to be a teenager in most cases. The crap that they went through in trying to "discover" themselves is the exact crap that we're going through placed in a different time period with different events. Whether or not they like to admit that they know what we're going through is their own choice, however.

...... What she said.. ^.^

Yea, basically I agree.
I had a horrible time in middle school, and a very difficult time all through high school... but i know so did everyone else in their own ways. Just because i was depressed at times, or struggling to keep my friends, or trying to get into schools doesnt mean i was "special".
Everyone has their hard times. But people always react differently.
Mostly, teenagers are just more dramatic about things because it isnt until middle school and high school where things actually become hard, and they usually dont think its "fair" because they are so used to the good life.

Moving this to the life issues subforum! ^^

Originally Posted by Shantor

Mostly, teenagers are just more dramatic about things because it isnt until middle school and high school where things actually become hard, and they usually dont think its "fair" because they are so used to the good life.

Well put, friend.

I'm in Algebra 2/Trig at school and any time I try to ask my parents for help, they can't. They tell me the furthest kind of math they took was Pre-Algebra. I never even took Pre-Algebra. I took Algebra I in 8th grade... years ago. What the heck? So it's been very difficult. Even though school has nothing to do with this topic really, I agree with what you are saying. If parents really knew what went on in teen life nowadays, they would be shocked and wouldn't believe it. Times have definitely changed. I agree with the whole "16 & Pregnant" thing. It's so weird how things have changed so drastically. But keep in mind that our parents didn't have technology like we did. Most outrageous things teens do involve some form of digital media. MySpace, Facebook, Texting, etc.

I know a few friend who have younger friends, such as 17 and let me say if they're virgins, I'm actually surprised! You how sad that is? And of course the TV shows they have "16 and Pregnant" what the hell is that? In high school if you don't have the cool clothes, a nice body, or you lack social skills (maybe because you're a little shy) you are screwed. Lets not forget the reason why all these teens are getting into these situations of pregnancy and rape etc, because the use of drugs and alcohol is a lot more widely accepted and also waaaay easier to acquire.

When you grow up, teenagers will be saying the same things you are saying now, and you will realize that you don't know everything and most of the things you parents said were true. Sorry

Well this was more for teens to vent there feelings on the subject. We know that adults say ohh we've been where you are and we know how you feel. The fact of it is that sometimes we just need to talk about it, Yes adults have been where we are sometimes but they dont know everything they think they do. Melmalicious and x_Temev Leapthief are right. And i didnt make this so adults could come in and steer me right, i know how you feel i hear it from my family all the time. Its just healthy sometimes for kids to get things out. And school is a hard one for us.

Adults actually do have a clear idea on what it's like to be your age, but they should also know that every situation is different. Many situations have a different outcome. I remember struggling on this issue with my aunt. Although I was very angry with her at the time, I realize now that she was actually correct. I can't blame myself though, because that's how a lot of teenagers feel. Being a young pregnant teenager isn't accepted by society, but we're more open about it.

Originally Posted by rikkimess

Well this was more for teens to vent there feelings on the subject. We know that adults say ohh we've been where you are and we know how you feel. The fact of it is that sometimes we just need to talk about it, Yes adults have been where we are sometimes but they dont know everything they think they do. Melmalicious and x_Temev Leapthief are right. And i didnt make this so adults could come in and steer me right, i know how you feel i hear it from my family all the time. Its just healthy sometimes for kids to get things out. And school is a hard one for us.

Uh. I'm seventeen. :yes: And I still think what I think. Albeit, I'm a seventeen year old who hasn't felt like a child since she was eight.

Yes, our school work would kill our parents, but their school work would have killed their parents. They know what we're going through in a sort of backwards, come through the door sideways, kind of way.

I don't deny that there are some shit-tastic parents out there, though.

Oh, I do think that what Melm said is mostly true.

When adults give you the kind of advice that you are so annoyed by, it's not because they don't sympathize. It's because they know being a teenager is hard and they are trying to encourage you not to give into it and to fight all those temptations and bad situations that everyone your age is getting into.

There's always those temptations and problems as a teenager that are bad and will ruin your life. They just want you to understand that those teenage years eventually do end (even though it feels like they never will) and that they know what that pressure is like. You may not be being pressured about the same things as them, but they were pressured and tortured at that age as well.

Originally Posted by rikkimess

Well this was more for teens to vent there feelings on the subject. We know that adults say ohh we've been where you are and we know how you feel. The fact of it is that sometimes we just need to talk about it, Yes adults have been where we are sometimes but they dont know everything they think they do. Melmalicious and x_Temev Leapthief are right. And i didnt make this so adults could come in and steer me right, i know how you feel i hear it from my family all the time. Its just healthy sometimes for kids to get things out. And school is a hard one for us.

I don't know why you are saying this as if only teens need to do it. Everyone needs to vent about their lives and their problems and their feelings on occasion, but you weren't venting about those things. You were talking about adults as if they were your enemy. Your struggles as a teenager are your enemy, not the adults around you who are trying to help you.

Adults will never understand teens and vice versa because most the problems teens face stems from the changes their going through. Not saying this is for every case, but in most real life colleges ive been to, its the middle aged and over students who are really trying their hardest to graduate. This is because most of the younger students are in college either because its just what they think everyone else does, or being pressured to go by family.

What I mean is that being a teenager is just a long phase of uncertainty, purely for biological reasons. Teens are bombarded with images of what they should be, and thats confusing because the adults are trying to pressure them to be what they are, and not stopping to help them understand the changes they are going through. Even movies depicting so called teenagers use actors well past their 20's because, lets face it, no one wants to see an awkward, gangly fifteen year old on screen.

Yes, I am aware of the actors of the Harry Potter series, if anyone brings that up. But the thing is, producers will search long and hard to find the most damn good looking childern out there for leading roles. That's why the character don't match up to the books, because no one wants to see what Hermione is really supposed to look like, or Ron for that matter.

So don't be so down about no one understanding you. It's normal, and I'm saying that in a good way. Just relax and have fun in being a teen. Explore all your curiousities while you can, before you have to grow up. To all you smartasses who might bring up drugs and all that, saying exploring "everything" might have life long consequences, I have only a few words:

Go shove it up your ass.

You read too much into everything for own good.

I've talked with my mother about some stuff that she understands too..like birthcontrol and dating. She's pretty much knows about how the world goes around nowdays. Thought, they weren't any help for me when I got bullied or got through my teenage years...it's surely so that being young isn't easily. It was the most painful part of my life.

I know some parents that are REALLY REALLY oldfashioned. Even my parents who are pretty into nowday things may think that I should like get married..especially if I ever had a baby. I don't believe in marriage,and I just some time ago lost my baby..so well..if I had that baby it would have been interesting to see how my parents would have reacted. My dad seems to be homophobic too and I'm a bisexual (they don't know it). I used to yell at his homophobic comments though, so I'm not sure what's he is feeling about it now.

In my country you don't get to work if you don't have education, but some parents still think that you can get to work just by going to some random store like "HEY! I'm really nice! Can I work here? OKAY THANKS!".

Being a teen in this time is pretty hard, we're not just being overdramatic. The generations before us has already done almost everything and the bar is set to high for some of us. Plus the economy is shaky and there are too many unemployed college graduates. I want to be an artist or a designer but it's hard to earn a decent paycheck in those fields and there are already so many other people filling up high paying sectors.

I don't know why you are saying this as if only teens need to do it. Everyone needs to vent about their lives and their problems and their feelings on occasion, but you weren't venting about those things. You were talking about adults as if they were your enemy. Your struggles as a teenager are your enemy, not the adults around you who are trying to help you

Just want to add on how I feel about your silly comment. When parents are confronted with an angry or emotional kid they would just nod their heads and go 'oh, it must be that time of the month' or 'teenagers these days...'. This would aggravate anyone, it's not the 'struggles as a teen' that's the problem. For me, I just need a bit of guidance and help on my future and all my parents say is study harder when I want a game plan to map a bit of my future out. It's like I'm walking in a mist and seeing only the barely visible two steps of cracked concrete in front of me. Should I prepare a portfolio for art college? Or should I study science harder to enter college for a major in bio?

The reason a few teenagers reject adult help is because adults are not providing it. Parents are biased and try to tell their kids what they think they need and when the kids are trying to communicate with them what their real needs and worries are, their parents turn a deaf ear, thinking that their kid doesn't know any better than they. Not every situation is like this but some are.

Wise words Lotus. :) I'm also going for the media/art industry so it's a hard place to get employed..but I hope I'll be so good that I just HAVE to get a job after gradutation :D

Originally Posted by Lotus Blade

The reason a few teenagers reject adult help is because adults are not providing it. Parents are biased and try to tell their kids what they think they need and when the kids are trying to communicate with them what their real needs and worries are, their parents turn a deaf ear, thinking that their kid doesn't know any better than they. Not every situation is like this but some are.

With this, I would like to point out its not always that the parents arent providing it, its just that most teens dont understand that the parent is giving advice that their parents probably gave them for a similiar situation. And I know it might seem that it is the wrong advice, but coming from their point of view(even without my own children, I have loads of young cousins) and giving advice to them, I do notice that even though my cousins situations might vary, the advice that my parents gave me for a similiar situation can go a long way to be what they need to hear at that moment. So, in short, adults know more than teens give them credit for, and teens usually just want to hear some in-depth advice for a situation they usually dont fully explain to their parents.

Originally Posted by The Enchanted Tiara

I don't know why you are saying this as if only teens need to do it. Everyone needs to vent about their lives and their problems and their feelings on occasion, but you weren't venting about those things. You were talking about adults as if they were your enemy. Your struggles as a teenager are your enemy, not the adults around you who are trying to help you.

I agree with what you say Tiara. Even adluts need to vent. Hell, even my parents vent, and usually Im the only one around for them to vent their frustrations towards. Even if Im not the cause, they just need someone they can tell stuff to. And yeah, the adults arent the enemy. I realized that almost too late, and now that I am an adult, I realize how much more stress that parets go through than teens realize, what with the pressure teens are under from boyfriend/girlfriend to have sex, and parents being protective and trying to tell them some advice.

I didn't think getting pregnant at 16 was considered acceptable, I think the show is to show how hard it is to be a mother at sixteen.

But I agree the times have changed. There is more pressure to do well in school for college and careers. There are more choices to be made than before and they have to be made earlier than ever. Paarents and grandparents probably had most of there lives already planned out because of gender, race, social class, etc. Today there are more opportunities, and I don't think many parents had to deal with that kind of thing because that wasn't the way life was for them, so they probably don't have much advice about that.

Also, the world today is way different than what is was in the past. For example, with Facebook and texting, there are new problems that previous generations could never have imagined. I think people can give advice about these kinds of things because it's the same issue in a different context.

Sometimes parents give advice and the teens don't know. Sometimes teens reach out for help and the parents don't know. Sometimes there's sucky communication one way, sometimes it's both. Yknow every situation can vary in some way but it is still true that everybody needs to vent at some time. And yes, things are very different. If you watch tv you see things that would be absolutely shocking to see "way back when". Some people cringe at it, some people stare, some people ignore it, but it's still there. It's all up to you what you do about it. More and more decisions are up to you.. and it's at a weird stage where a lot of parents don't want to let their kids have the independence that they want. While at the same time, the teens don't want to feel insecure either so they want a sort of stability at the same time. All they want is to be safe and happy and understand things more. My dad, he never listens to me. He ignores me like I'm the wind. And it's sad to say, but sometimes true that other people experience that. It can be people who are now adults, it can be people my age, or younger. There will always be peer pressure in school, there will always be the potential for a bad decision, but you also have to be strong enough and smart enough to be able to make your own. I don't think many people like to admit that they are naive. Most people are fine with saying that they were naive. I'm fine with saying I was naive when I was 14, but the truth is, I still hold some naivete now. I would like to believe that it is less than before, but from your own perspective, it is harder to judge your own perspective. Everybody at some point feels happy, sad, confused, misunderstood, depressed, in love, stressed out, apathetic, ecstatic.. It's all their in our capabilities of human emotion. So it's not like we don't have a common ground. Just keep that in mind when you're talking to people and thinking about them. Also, people have pasts. And even if you were part of it, it doesn't mean that you know everything that happened to them and how they felt about what. I didn't know until about 2 years after I broke up with this guy.. he wanted to be with his best friend instead so I let him... but he thought I was mad at him and he still really cared about me. This guy ended up cutting himself and I never even knew until 2 years later. If I didn't keep talking to him, I don't think I ever would have known that. So take some time to talk to people who matter. Take time to talk to people who you have affected, and your concept of the world will grow.. You will see more positive things, more negative things, more things that puzzle you but the more time you take on that instead of with flipping through magazines watching models or 16 year olds getting pregnant, the more you will grow as a person. And those things that feel so hard, sometimes you are going to need a shoulder to cry on, or a thread to vent in. That is understandable.. But the more challenges you go through, the more you hang on and work things out, the more it will feel like simple arithmetic. And I'm not saying this as to talk down on you. I'm not downsizing your problems. Heck, I don't even know the extent of what they are because you were pretty vague about it. But I wish you luck in that journey.. And keep in mind that you're never alone. The world is much bigger than to let that be true. (: