I really don't have anything going for me. At least, nothing that I care about. I'm a great student but that's not going to get me happiness, just into college.

I fight with everyone. I get angry easily, and I'm not afraid to tell someone that I think they're wrong. It causes problems, to say the least.

I don't listen. I try, I really do, but when it comes down to it, I really don't care about much and I tend to tune everything out.

I always try to look on the brighter side of things, but when it comes down to it, I genuinely don't like most things or most people, and at the end of the day, negative thoughts creep back into my head.

I'm selfish. I know it. I try not to be, and it happens anyway.

I can't wait to get out of this town. There are no opportunities for making any improvements to your life here.

I always have great ideas but I never know how to go about them, so I give up.

I give up on everything. And I'm ready to give up on trying at all, because everything turns to shit in the end anyway.

I'm sorry, love. I wish I could send you some conviction so that you could feel like you didn't need to give up on everything. :)

Do you mayhap know why you give up on everything? Did someone tell you that nothing was worth it or is there a very negative force in you life? Because, I'm not going to lie, that's really a dragon that you need to slay.

Also, you create your own reality. If you think that everything is going to turn to shit, damn straight that it will.

Do you have any passions? Because, if you don't, I suggest that you find one, since passion is what we all live for.

Originally Posted by ElysiumFate

I'm sorry, love. I wish I could send you some conviction so that you could feel like you didn't need to give up on everything. :)

Do you mayhap know why you give up on everything? Did someone tell you that nothing was worth it or is there a very negative force in you life? Because, I'm not going to lie, that's really a dragon that you need to slay.

Also, you create your own reality. If you think that everything is going to turn to shit, damn straight that it will.

Do you have any passions? Because, if you don't, I suggest that you find one, since passion is what we all live for.

I usually give up because I get bored or I realize I suck at whatever I'm doing or I realize it doesn't matter.

Well my dad's a total jerk but I learned to tune him out 10 years ago (I'm 15). I don't have many friends, as not only am I not good at making friends, I'm insensitive (NO I DON'T CARE THAT YOU'RE FAILING MATH! THAT'S NOT MY FAULT!) and I yell a lot.

I have big dreams. I don't want to be like everyone who just goes through the motions of life, who doesn't change the world and who doesn't appreciate the little things. I want to leave my footprint on society. I also strive to be the best in everything I do (ironically, I don't like competition). Unfortunately, all this does is cause me to realize how I've wasted the last 15 years, how I'm not even getting a good education at my crappy high school, how I'm probably doomed to live a life of useless motions like everyone else.

I'm not going to get my hopes up thinking things are going to work out. Then I just wind up let down.

I don't have any passions. I think chemistry is neat and I'm very good math, and I like duct tape, but I'm not passionate about any of those things.

NOTICE: I'm not the kind to be "oh, it'll be okay, sweetie" without at least putting forth some constructive input. And it might sound short and rude, but I don't mean to come across as such.

Originally Posted by Queen Fool

I have big dreams. I don't want to be like everyone who just goes through the motions of life, who doesn't change the world and who doesn't appreciate the little things. I want to leave my footprint on society. I also strive to be the best in everything I do (ironically, I don't like competition). Unfortunately, all this does is cause me to realize how I've wasted the last 15 years, how I'm not even getting a good education at my crappy high school, how I'm probably doomed to live a life of useless motions like everyone else.

I'm not going to get my hopes up thinking things are going to work out. Then I just wind up let down.

I don't have any passions. I think chemistry is neat and I'm very good math, and I like duct tape, but I'm not passionate about any of those things.

If you want to appreciate the little things and change the world, start with appreciating the things you have now. What's your family life like? Are your parents loving? Do you have a best friend? A pet? A crush? If you don't start appreciating what you have at this age and showing that you appreciate it, you'll never be able to be considered "different from everyone else".

To change the world, start small. Volunteer somewhere. Give your time since I'm guessing you're unable to give in the financial sense at this point. If you want to be that kind of person, it takes work. Not just desire, but actual effort.

And if your high school is so crappy, then do what you can go be at the top of the class. If your high school is "crappy" that should be the easiest thing in the world. If you don't think your high school is up to par education-wise, try to get into a good college.

As for passions... no one can help you there. It's up to you to find new hobbies. It's up to you to find something to be passionate about.

Getting your hopes up to have them let down... yeah, that happens to the rest of the world, too. Don't get me wrong, I'm not insensitive... that's just how life works. If you're let down once, try twice as harder next time. And harder still until you get the proper result.

Life is tough. It doesn't get any easier after high school. I've offered you the best advice I can based off of what you said. The only other thing I can put forth is support. If you need someone to talk to, rant at, whatever, I'm always open to listening. Because honestly, hard work and support is really the only things that get people anywhere in life.

Hmmmmmm.... *Rifles about in her advice pit*

Well, I always feel like I'm repeating the words that a million people would tell you when I say this, but I'll say it again and hope that I don't insult your intelligence. :D

Every person, at least once in their life, is convinced that they will be the big change in the world. That their foot prints will help mold the world and that everyone will see them. You have big dreams to do these things? I ask you: how? You want to change the world? I ask you: how? You want to be somebody that doesn't just go through the motions of life like everybody else? I ask you: how? I know I'm coming off as a dream killer right now, but I wish someone had shoved these realizations in my face when I was fifteen.

Now, let me lighten the mood of this post. :)

You're fifteen. I absolutely cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die promise you that you probably know absolutely nothing about yourself right now. I also cross-my-heart promise you that this is changing quickly. You will figure out your "hows" soon enough.

Your dad sucks? I'm sorry, I've been there (with my mother). It just about tore me apart and made me into a horrible person. BUT, it didn't. I figured out that my life was not meant to be sculpted by her. I thought I'd learned to tone her out as well, but I hadn't. The only way to tune out people like that is to get them out of your life or come to terms with them. Just don't let them destroy you when you've no choice but to be around them.

You're insensitive? That, my friend, is something I will flat out tell you you need to change. Because your life WILL be crap if you don't learn to be kind and love people. It's not something that will be easily changed, but something done one step at a time. No one will ever care about you or let your footsteps leave imprints on the world if they don't like you. You have to get your foot up into change somewhere and somebody will have to give that to you. No one has ever changed the world alone.

I cannot count the times that I have been let down in my life. There are just SOOOOOO many more failures than successes in life. This is, sadly, something that we all have to get used to.

You also haven't wasted the last fifteen years. It sounds like you've worked hard. You can choose, however, to waste the next fifteen years of your life if you like. Your high school also may be crappy, but the only thing you can do is make the best of it, work your ass off, get into college (which will be WAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY better than high school) and follow your passions (which you WILL find).

Don't give up on life, sweetie. You're too young to do that. Also, I'm sorry if all that was blunt, but it's what my advice bag sprouted at me. :D

Originally Posted by bakacoconut

NOTICE: I'm not the kind to be "oh, it'll be okay, sweetie" without at least putting forth some constructive input. And it might sound short and rude, but I don't mean to come across as such.



If you want to appreciate the little things and change the world, start with appreciating the things you have now. What's your family life like? Are your parents loving? Do you have a best friend? A pet? A crush? If you don't start appreciating what you have at this age and showing that you appreciate it, you'll never be able to be considered "different from everyone else".

To change the world, start small. Volunteer somewhere. Give your time since I'm guessing you're unable to give in the financial sense at this point. If you want to be that kind of person, it takes work. Not just desire, but actual effort.

And if your high school is so crappy, then do what you can go be at the top of the class. If your high school is "crappy" that should be the easiest thing in the world. If you don't think your high school is up to par education-wise, try to get into a good college.

As for passions... no one can help you there. It's up to you to find new hobbies. It's up to you to find something to be passionate about.

Getting your hopes up to have them let down... yeah, that happens to the rest of the world, too. Don't get me wrong, I'm not insensitive... that's just how life works. If you're let down once, try twice as harder next time. And harder still until you get the proper result.

Life is tough. It doesn't get any easier after high school. I've offered you the best advice I can based off of what you said. The only other thing I can put forth is support. If you need someone to talk to, rant at, whatever, I'm always open to listening. Because honestly, hard work and support is really the only things that get people anywhere in life.

Well my mother and I fight a lot, and I can't even sit in a room with my dad for 5 minutes without him constantly attacking my weight, personality, and ideas (yeah, fun weekends right there, I left my room only for bathroom purposes and food this weekend). I only have one true friend, and we fight constantly:/ Usually it's my fault. I have a lot of friends that are great at making me feel like shit. I don't even know why I talk to them. Loneliness I guess.

I don't know where to volunteer. Aside from transportation issues, I really don't care about things that don't affect me. That's petty and selfish, I know. But I just don't care.

I'm 6th in a class of around 500 I believe, but I'm doing way better this year. My rank probably won't change, as I don't take either of the automatic A+ honors classes (chorus and band) so I don't get that effortless GPA inflation.

I've been searching for a hobby for about 15 years. And I can't find anything! Haha I fail at that!

Originally Posted by Queen Fool

Well my mother and I fight a lot, and I can't even sit in a room with my dad for 5 minutes without him constantly attacking my weight, personality, and ideas (yeah, fun weekends right there, I left my room only for bathroom purposes and food this weekend). I only have one true friend, and we fight constantly:/ Usually it's my fault. I have a lot of friends that are great at making me feel like shit. I don't even know why I talk to them. Loneliness I guess.

I don't know where to volunteer. Aside from transportation issues, I really don't care about things that don't affect me. That's petty and selfish, I know. But I just don't care.

I'm 6th in a class of around 500 I believe, but I'm doing way better this year. My rank probably won't change, as I don't take either of the automatic A+ honors classes (chorus and band) so I don't get that effortless GPA inflation.

I've been searching for a hobby for about 15 years. And I can't find anything! Haha I fail at that!

Honestly, I don't know what else to tell you, then. When I was your age, I had the same mindset and said I wanted to change. And here I am about six years later, and I have changed. When I was in your position, I started with my attitude. It's taken me a long time to start caring and I'm still not where I want to be, yet.

My offer to listen whenever you need to talk still stands, but if you don't make the effort to find something to care about, I can practically promise that you won't get anywhere.

ALSO: listen to ElysiumFate. She seems to know what she's talking about.

You're 15, right? Still in school, right? Ya don't need to be worrying about this kinda stuff till your outta school. Because honestly, that's when life actually starts. You're still basically a baby in the eye of the world. You think you've wasted the past 15 years? Nah. They only was I see that people waste their lives, is by doing drugs, or continuously going to college, and still end up working at a fast food joint. (My ex best friends mom went to cosmetology school 8 times in 5 years, and is now flipping burgers and serving milkshakes.) But honestly, just finish school. I don't have real life friends. Why would I need them? No one in RL likes me anyways. They way I see it, and it might make people mad or whatnot, but if ya don't have friends by now, then maybe ya don't need them. I know I didn't have hardly any friends at 15.

Just tune it all out, finish school, and don't give up. Cause what would happen if you chickened out now, and you were destined fer greater things? neh? So, close your eyes, hold your head up high, and blow a raspberry at those who try to push you down still. Giving up isn't what you need to do right now. If ya wanna talk, just message me, k?

I don't know how to care. Honestly, I don't love anyone, and I know that's bad. I do like to be left the hell alone most of the time, so I just figured it was easier to not deal with people and not care. That's not to say that I'm shy, I'm actually very outgoing and talkative when I am around people. And I don't keep secrets (my own anyway, if you tell me something private I'm not gonna go spread it around). But if I get attached to people, they'll be gone eventually, so why should I bother? And people I don't even know, why SHOULD they matter to me? I don't matter to them.

Wow I sound like a nutcase.

Originally Posted by bakacoconut

ALSO: listen to ElysiumFate. She seems to know what she's talking about.

Thank you. :)

Originally Posted by "Queen Fool"

Well my mother and I fight a lot, and I can't even sit in a room with my dad for 5 minutes without him constantly attacking my weight, personality, and ideas (yeah, fun weekends right there, I left my room only for bathroom purposes and food this weekend). I only have one true friend, and we fight constantly:/ Usually it's my fault. I have a lot of friends that are great at making me feel like shit. I don't even know why I talk to them. Loneliness I guess.

I don't know where to volunteer. Aside from transportation issues, I really don't care about things that don't affect me. That's petty and selfish, I know. But I just don't care.

I'm 6th in a class of around 500 I believe, but I'm doing way better this year. My rank probably won't change, as I don't take either of the automatic A+ honors classes (chorus and band) so I don't get that effortless GPA inflation.

I've been searching for a hobby for about 15 years. And I can't find anything! Haha I fail at that!

Now, Queen. I will just restate that you are fifteen. You probably didn't give a crap about hobbies or passions until you were thirteen. That's two years ago. Don't worry so much. You've barely begun to search and find yourself.

May I ask...? Are you an only child?

Originally Posted by "Queen Fool"

I don't know how to care. Honestly, I don't love anyone, and I know that's bad. I do like to be left the hell alone most of the time, so I just figured it was easier to not deal with people and not care. That's not to say that I'm shy, I'm actually very outgoing and talkative when I am around people. And I don't keep secrets (my own anyway, if you tell me something private I'm not gonna go spread it around). But if I get attached to people, they'll be gone eventually, so why should I bother? And people I don't even know, why SHOULD they matter to me? I don't matter to them.

Wow I sound like a nutcase.

No. You sound like a teenager. ;)

Yep, no siblings, I had a realllyyyy lonely childhood. My parents worked and I didn't have many friends

Everyone around me seems so...together. And also like they slowly forget about me as they move on to bigger things. Because I'm just Mikaela, and I'm not important.

Originally Posted by Queen Fool

I don't know how to care. Honestly, I don't love anyone, and I know that's bad. I do like to be left the hell alone most of the time, so I just figured it was easier to not deal with people and not care. That's not to say that I'm shy, I'm actually very outgoing and talkative when I am around people. And I don't keep secrets (my own anyway, if you tell me something private I'm not gonna go spread it around). But if I get attached to people, they'll be gone eventually, so why should I bother? And people I don't even know, why SHOULD they matter to me? I don't matter to them.

Wow I sound like a nutcase.

You don't sound like a nutcase. You sound like I did back then. I can't really tell you how to care. But I can tell you, it starts by talking about it. Like everyone says, first step to changing or getting over something, is admitting you have a problem. This means that you're willing to see what needs to be done.

I would really just suggest finding people in your community that share the same intrests as you, or even finding someone online to talk with. Just make sure they aren't some crazy nut jub yah?

I personally hate people. No offence meant at all. I just don't do good with people in RL. I tend to get attached way to easily as well. And poof, like they never exsisted. But, at least you actually were in their lives. Here's something that I do, even though I hate people, if you see someone wearing a hat you like, tell them you like their hat. I've made several people's days just by doing that, and karma goes around. A few months ago, I told a lady that she was very pretty, which she was, and she turned around and said the same to me. I was shocked, because I'm not the best looking cookie in the jar. Try it. Even if people look at you like your crazy. It'll help them out too.

You will eventually find someone to love and care for. Trust me. I don't know what else to say to you. I doubt that this actually helped/helps. lol. Cause a lotta people don't listen to what I say, so yah. Anyways, I will still offer my thoughts, opinion and advice if you'd like.

Originally Posted by Queen Fool

Yep, no siblings, I had a realllyyyy lonely childhood. My parents worked and I didn't have many friends

Everyone around me seems so...together. And also like they slowly forget about me as they move on to bigger things. Because I'm just Mikaela, and I'm not important.

Ms. Fate also = only child.

And let me tell you: being an only child s-u-c-k-s. It's lonely as Hell. I have gone through the exact same thing that you have with your parents working all of the time. I had NO friends when I was younger, not to mention something else that made me be shunned. My childhood sucked. In fact, I didn't have one. But! I have overcome that. You will too. You do need to get over the "only child" stigma.

I didn't care for years about other people simply because I was an only child and never had to. Once you realize that you must care about something in the world other than yourself you will begin to achieve your dreams. Trust me.

Now. Give me a second to laugh my ass off. *Rolls on floor laughing ass off for about ten minutes before she pulls herself together*

*Laugh* No one *snickers* around you *laugh* is put together *bahahaha* dear. Sorry, that was a good joke. :lol:

Look about yourself. No one you know in your high school knows anything about themselves. They are only faking it, and they only think that they do. Forget about that idea right now. Nobody starts figuring out the world until they're actually out in it and on their own. If you realize this now you will be worlds ahead of everyone else. Everyone is scared right now. I promise. Everyone is lost.

You'll be okay.

Oh, and if you didn't know: you ARE important. You shape this world every day by just existing, whether or not you know it. Just try to be a good influence, not a bad one. ;)

Feel free to PM me, btw.

There is also something to say about hormones and anatomy. Your brain is going through changes and the confusion is normal. Your frontal lobe of the brain is still developing the myelin sheaths over your nerves. This doesn't explain everything but may help you feel better.

You sound similar to what I went and continue to go through. On the opposite side of the spectrum, I care about so many things that it becomes frustrating. I care so much about others think about me and bunch of things that just don't matter in weeks or years from now. And then I flip to not caring for anything.

What do you care about? What are you looking for?

I ususally start with these questions. I find many people can't be honest with themselves and look for others to answer these questions for them. Try to understand why you do things. This is your life and you have to find your own way. You can take or leave the advice you are given.

What works for me is listening to comedy internet radio when I feel low. There are very few times when Weird Al can't put a smile to my face.

I don't know how to care about people, or things, or anything. I mean, almost every friend I've had, every person I dared to give a crap about, left me. People dump their problems on me, and I can lend a sympathetic "Oh, that sucks" but in reality, I don't care. That's horrible. I should care. No wonder no one likes me (until they need algebra help). I don't know how to start caring, and I don't want to get hurt even more!

Everyone around me at least has friends, or family, or something that they love. I don't have friends (well, friends that I like) and my family and I have a mutual hatred (they tell me I've gained weight, I tell them they're going gray, we get on with our lives).

Ugh. I am so hopeless.

Edit: Also, it's almost 1 here. I doubt anyone cares but I don't sleep.

Well. A good place to start is your family. You might not be able to fix them, but you can ignore them. It sounds to me like you are in a vicious cycle of hatred with your mother and father. They tell you you're fat, you tell them they're gray. You're not helping things, friend. :no:

Next time they tell you that you've gained weight, say nothing. This sounds hard and I know that a bunch of people will tell you that you shouldn't bottle up your emotions, but in this case you are actually hurting yourself by encouraging them when you reply to their hatred.

I'm not saying that ignoring them will ever make them stop, but you'll feel better about yourself, and hey...they might shut up. You never know...

Try to get to know your friends better. The only way to know if you care is to try and the only way to start caring is to try.

I'm sorry you can't sleep, but I've no advice in my pit for that one. ^^

Hurt comes with the territory. I bites, but that is the way it is.

I lived in 23 different places before I was 19. I had to learn that I was the only person that was always there for me. I have very few friends and I only talk to them about once every 6 months to years. I lost both of my cats at the winter holiday and they were 13 yrs old. They were my boys. I have had to learn how to close that hole in my heart. And it hasn't been easy.

You can be selfish, but what are you afraid of?