I need to get this off my chest.
Feel free to make any comments or share your own beefs with your 'friends.'

Okay, so most of my friends don't have cars. In fact, none of them really do.
I'm not even going to touch on the fact that they don't have steady jobs, and their parents don't take charge for them properly, that's a separate issue.

What bugs me is that I get ignored by them until they need me for something, it's usually involving my car and me wasting my money, gas, and free time.

So this is how one of my text conversations went:

>>>From Jon: Are you awake?"

Me: "Yes?"

Jon: "Can you come pick me up on central? I'm drunll...(drunk)

(Two minutes later)

>>>from Taylor: "Can you do me a favor?"

Me: "What?.."

Taylor: "Can you pick Jon up and drop him off at Applebee's? He's drunk and I don't want him walking all the way here alone in the dark. Drunk. Crying. Gay."




Okay, so I didn't respond to either of those texts.
I don't feel like it's my obligation to go pick someone up at 11:30pm, and drop them off at an AppleBee's because they were stupid enough to get their dumb ass drunk when they knew they had to walk somewhere (underage drinking much?)
Why should I have to waste my gas money and time going to pick up a 'friend' who barely ever talks to me, talks the worst crap about me behind my back, and only ever seems to 'care' about what's happening in my life when he wants something?

Not to mention I don't want to be responsible for a drunk minor in my car, and I don't want him to throw up in my car either.

Oh, but either way I'm gonna be the "jerk" of the situation because I'm absolutely refusing to do what they asked, because it's bullcrap.
Neither of them have cars, so they have no conception of what it's like to have to pay for their own gas, having a bunch of people mess up their cars, or for that matter worrying about a bunch of drunk teenagers asking them to do 'favors' that they'll never get paid back for.

Now, I want to mention that I've done favors for these 'friends' of mine BUNCHES of times. With Taylor, for example, I drove her to a town and back TWICE that was two hours away just so she could see her boyfriend that she broke up with a week later.


Ugh, do you guys have problems with 'friends' taking advantage of you?

Yes i understand your situations completely.

I started to do the same thing that you did too. Driving people everywhere, since most of them were underage and such. And they would complain that I was a b and never loved them and such blah blah bull.

Til I finally said, no. And finally stopped driving people and doing people favors anymore, they all called me a b and I just let it go since I wasn't really friends with them.

Do you think not doing favors for anyone, but for just those really close to you, make you feel better? Or at least help you or something like that? O_=

Next time, text them back.

"Call a taxi. Their number is xxx-xxxx." ;)

@ Sephy; I absolutely feel good when I do favors for people who are close to me, and people that I feel are sincere about wanting to be my friend.

But lately I've been feeling pretty bad because it seems as though half of my friends only ever talk to me because of rides or getting something out of me anymore. And I guess that upsets me because now my reality about who I thought were my 'friends' is changing. And I'd just really hate to think that I've been wasting my time with people who have never truly gave a crap about me. It's just upsetting I guess.

@Keyori; You know, I almost did that. =P But I thought pretending like I fell asleep was a lot more passive.

That's awful. You're right to just ignore them and not go pick them up. I don't think I would bother talking to people who were that irresponsible at all. I do find it frustrating when people don't have cars. Two of my good friends don't have cars, and it's somewhat of a pain, because I have to drive them everywhere when I want to hang out with them. One friend can sometimes convince her parents to bring her to my house, but the other friend can't ever get a ride from them and I always have to go and pick her up, and if we're going to do something at my house, I have to bring her back to my house. Later, I have to make a trip to her house and back to mine again. I'm fortunate she moved pretty close by to me, where she lived before was a lot farther, but it's still at least a twenty or thirty minute drive to where she is now. I don't complain about it, since it's not like she calls me up just to get a ride from me somewhere, but it would be so much easier if she could drive. My other friend lives pretty far away, so I won't drive her back to my place if I drive there, we have to do something in her area of town. I have noticed that a lot of times now when we do stuff, she wants me to take her somewhere, like a mall that's a bit further away than the mall that's down the street from her, things like that. But at least none of my friends do stupid things like go out and get drunk and then expect me to stop whatever I'm doing and go pick them up. I still wish everyone had cars though.

I understand the thing with you helping people, makes you feel good since it's something so small. Like you were helpful to that person when they needed you and such.

Hmm then I purpose a wait and see thing. Or ask them a favor, it doesn't really something you really need just to see who actually makes an effort in your favor.

The wait and see would be see if they keep asking you for rides and make up those excuses you just typed out from that reply. See if they keep asking you, but other than that I wouldn't know what to do. Since I did the rant on them about I'm only a drive for you guys kinda thing in the past. They still ask for rides, but provide me gas money, and at least a little respect now.

Ugh, I hate when supposed "friends" do that to me. It's ridiculous. I do a lot of favors for them, even when they don't even talk to me. But when I ask them for something, psh, doesn't happen.

But I think that you did the right thing in ignoring them. And if you know that you aren't the bad guy in the situation, then there is nothing to worry about. They are the ones that didn't take responsibility for their actions. And it's not up to you to always come to the rescue.

Tell them, while they aren't drunk, that it's up to them to take responsibility for their actions. And it's not up to you to always come and get them. If they got there on their own, they can get themselves back. If they want to get home okay, then they don't have to go and get drunk. You aren't their parent, and aren't liable for their actions.

People think they can take advantage for people for all kinds of reasons. My boyfriend went to computer school, so he can easily fix and install computers and all his friends try to take advantage of that all the time, asking him to repair their computer constantly, when, if he did it all, he'd have no life. It takes a lot of work to be fixing a computer and you're supposed to be paid for it, so he always says no, regardless of whether people get mad or not.

My Dad's the opposite though (and he knows a lot about computers as well), so he fixes at least one computer a week. It doesn't sound like a lot, but that's because most people realize that fixing the average computer takes a couple of hours to several days to do.

firstly what stuck out in the conversation is that they only said to drop her off.
it would be one thing if they asked you to join, which would be an incentive for you to disrupt your evening.
i'm glad you didn't get them.
and no that doesn't make you a jerk, that makes you someone that isn't a damn pushover.
kudos!

and yes i used to have this problem too.
and that is why i now have only a handful of wonderful friends that don't do this to me, ever.

get new friend, honey. <3 <3
this scum doesn't deserve you.

Originally Posted by mau5ie

firstly what stuck out in the conversation is that they only said to drop her off.
it would be one thing if they asked you to join, which would be an incentive for you to disrupt your evening.
i'm glad you didn't get them.
and no that doesn't make you a jerk, that makes you someone that isn't a damn pushover.
kudos!

and yes i used to have this problem too.
and that is why i now have only a handful of wonderful friends that don't do this to me, ever.

get new friend, honey. <3 <3
this scum doesn't deserve you.

It's a guy xD But the way he acts, you wouldn't know the difference...