But I wouldn't know because I haven't been exposed to relationships.
I have a bit of an attention problem so the story might get a bit jumpy. I'm sorry if it gets confusing. Feel free to ask questions.

Backstory:
I've been a doormat all my life and I'm a sheltered kid with the curiosity of a cat. You can say I rushed in to the relationship, which is my very first one, I'm in now because I wanted something new. I though it was going to work really well at the time because he seemed really sweet and really in love with me and I was in love with him. He seemed so strong and confident and exciting.

Now things are different. All the these factors in a relationship I never saw before are starting to become visible to me.
The guy is much older than me, from a COMPLETELY different background and going a completely different direction in his life.

Problem:
He's not as strong or as exciting as I thought but that's okay. What irks me is how clingy and needy he gets. I'm also starting to think he's very manipulative. Whenever I try to talk about the things he does that bothers me he says things like how maybe I should break up with him. Which isn't what I want. I just want to share. I'm becoming more and more scared of sharing but that's one of the main reasons I need to talk! It's growing and growing.

I don't even know if it's because of my weakness or his way with words anymore. I'm so confused and I love him but I feel so worthless and that everything I feel is wrong.
Is there a way I can fix this?

Did this even make sense? Sorry if it didn't.

He does sound really manipulative.

Also, are you sure it's love and not just some kind of puppy love because it IS your first relationship and you're extremely infatuated?

Honestly, how I usually feel about these things, and the advice I usually give to people.
When you have a problem with the people you care about. Talk to them.
If they are making your life miserable, and they're just a boyfriend or girlfriend or friend who treats you like crap. Leave 'em.
It's not like they're the only person out there.

And just because this is your first relationship, doesn't mean is HAS to work out.
Maybe the relationship has just run it's course.
Maybe it's just the time you both need to move on.

But, that's just what I think.

Love is selfless, honey...

I'd honestly get out of it.. if it's not marriage- it's not serious. /period.

Originally Posted by jehneefur

Love is selfless, honey.

I like this quote, because it's totally true.

Listen, I know you don't want to hear this but he doesn't sound right for you.
When times got hard, my boyfriend, despite being three hours away, was right there for me. Called me every day and let me share what was on my mind. This is what relationships are all about. Out of the dozens of guys I dated, no one could have handled it better.

We've all gone though a few relationships and the first is usually the worst we do on. This isn't always true, but more than not. Don't stress on giving up on this guy. Plus theres always a chance to go back to him if he starts to see the truth.

Drop hi like a rotten egg. Really, it doesn't sound like he's the person for you. You had a good relationship, and relationships are about growing as a person. You grew all you can in this relationship. Go to coffee house and talk about it with him. If you have to talk to him a few times about it, do it!

I know the feeling, I am also very sheltered and tried to desperately cling to my first boyfriend. However, that is only making you miserable. You want to keep trying? If he keeps saying that you should dump him, ask him: "Do you want me to dump you? Or cant you cet it through your skull that I'm trying to work things out? I want to be with you!" That'll stop him in his tracks.

But yeah, I agree with others, dump him.

It's very important in a relationship to be willing to work through issues, rather than just giving up. When he suggests you break up with him, he's saying that either you should give up on the issue or give up on the relationship, which shows that he isn't willing to try working through those relationships. So, I agree with everyone else: get out of it before it gets worse. If your relationship is making you feel worthless, it's not a healthy relationship to be in.

Well let me start off by saying that manipulative relationships aren't good at all. I just recently got out of one. And I'll tell you what so many people told me. If he is manipulating you or controlling you in any way, it's not going to change and you need to get out as soon as possible. I realize that you may love the guy, because trust me, I was in your shoes too, but it's only going to get worse from here. If you've tried talking to him and that's not working, then there isn't anything else you can do. I think it would be best if you moved on dear.

I really do hope this helps you in some way, and I really do hope you make the right decisions for yourself. If you have anything you'd like to talk about, and need someone to talk to, please feel free to send me a message and I'll try to help you in anyway I can.