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Need Advice/Feedback (10 Wks.Pregnant, Idk how to Deal..)
Okay, so-I am 10 weeks pregnant and engaged to a great guy...
The problem is that I feel alone. I know that my fiance is there for me if I need to talk, but he doesn't really understand because he can't. :( I have mixed emotions and they change a lot. I feel like it isn't fair because I am going through the pregnancy symptoms and my fiance can just do whatever he wants pretty much. He doesn't have to worry about nausea or anything. BUT-I feel guilty for even thinking that way! It's complicated and my feelings sometimes contradict themselves. I feel so foolish, but I can't help it some days! Jason (my fiance) and I don't live together full-time yet. We're getting married June 5th. SO-When I am at my parents' house, he doesn't have to see the symptoms or what I go through day to day. He does sympathize and tries to make me as comfortable as possible, which is why I feel so guilty for feeling frustrated and irritated...Plus I don't have any friends anymore, but not as a result of my being pregnant. Anyway, any advice? Ever been pregnant and felt that way before? |
Obviously not been prego so i can't help you there but honestly from what i read it sounds like you need to give the guy a break.
I mean if he is being supportive and trying to make you comfortable what more are you wanting him to do? If the guy is doing his best to keep you happy and work towards taking care of your future child then you really can't ask for much more than that. However if he is some bum that isn't working or something then you should be upset. Anyways the feelings you are experiencing could just be after effects of the pregnancy, it's not uncommon for women to get their emotions thrown out of whack during the whole process. Just try not to lay into him too much if he is trying his best. |
It probably has something to do with hormones or something, Idk. I just can't shake the feeling. I know he's trying. I haven't gone off on him or anything. Like I said, that's why I feel guilty for thinking that way. But I know he's a great guy.
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I apologize if this sounds sexist because I'm really not that kind of guy, I have a lot of respect for women ... However I've never met a woman that was in her right mind while prego.
You are putting your body and mind through a lot of crap right now so your emotions are going to swing back and forth more than a monkey on speed. Just try to remember he is doing his best and don't chew into him too often if you can help it. >:3 |
Aww! Congrats!! :D
And I really have to point out... you're pregnant. Hormones, nausea, morning sickness, heartburn, spitting, carrying a non-detachable beach ball........ I think if you do snap at him he should bloody well understand. This isn't some sort of wacky feminism, he should be immensely grateful for what you're doing, bearing his baby. You're pregnant and you're getting married, which are stressful things on their own. Not to mention what the hormones are doing to you. Really, you are basically on your own, if you're relying on your fiance to understand. He isn't pregnant, he doesn't know what you're going through. May I suggest making friends with other pregnant women? At the pregnancy courses and such? Cus they will know exactly what you mean. :) |
melonmilk-Thank you! And I haven't been to any pregnancy courses yet, though I intend to.
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She is right, a class or group would be a nice thing to check out. Like she said before a guy can't understand the full scope of how you feel. It might not be a bad idea to drag your boy toy with you to one either so he can understand as well.
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Just hang out at the doctor's office every couple of weeks and join a cute soon-to-be forum and talk about your feelings and stuff. There's millions of women right now that are in your shoes and it's fun to go through it all together.
If I was you, I'd bitch about and yell at your guy all you want, this is the one time when you are actually allowed to do that without looking too crazy. Pregnancy just does that to a girl, don't feel totally different and weird. It's normal that he doesn't get you, guys are just stupid and have no idea what stuff is like. xd Good luck. (: |
Just because she is prego doesn't give her a right to just chew into the guy randomly. She let him put it in and it takes two people to make a kid. Blaming it on hormones and such only will stretch so far before it becomes redundant.
Yes it sucks that she has to carry the kid the whole time and deal with the pain involved but really ... every woman knows the risks of having unprotected sex. If your man is being a supportive guy and trying his best then try to keep your mood swings in check, don't just fly off the handle for the sake of being pregnant. I won't touch the "guys are just stupid" comment since this is a life issue thread about you, not a debate on men and dealing with pregnancy. Regardless ... you guys will have enough head aches when the kid is born anyways. no need to create more earlier than that. |
Congrats! I'm 5 to 6 weeks along myself so I'm right in this boat with you. I'm on my third child though so I know a bit about what to expect. Try to control yourself when it comes to your guy. They don't get it and they never will because they can't go through what we're going through. It's not their fault, they just don't have anything that compares to our crazy pregnancy hormones. It's best to just talk about how you're feeling so he can try to understand. Don't feel bad about how you feel, you can't help it. The only thing you have any control over is your actions. Just go with the flow and don't get worked up over the emotional aspect. Your body doesn't belong to you now. Everything your body used to do to keep you going strong is now catering to the baby with no regard as to how it makes you feel. I do wish you the best, try not to go stark raving mad!
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