|
Having big trouble...help?
It all started in Middle School.... I was in the sixth grade and he was in the seventh grade. When I had no where to sit on the bus because I was really shy when I was in the 6th grade and my bus was always so filled, he let me sit down beside him. Since then, we've always seem to be friends. But when I moved onto the 7th grade, we dated. I wanted more than he was giving me, but I didn't know how to ask him. But after I broke up with him, we would always talk on the phone for almost 2 hours a day. I loved it. We always seemed to talk about things.
But when I got to 8th grade and he had to leave the middle school to go to the high school, we kinda lost touch. But then we got back into touch by mid-winter. When summer time came, my grandmother bought us a volleyball net. Now, my hands are weak, so I begged my dad to use a beach ball instead. I invited him over one day, and then we played some. I realized how much I still really liked him, but he just didn't feel the same way. After a year of hiding it when I finally got into the high school, I wanted to cry every time I saw him. I missed our flirting and such. But little did I know, he was going through some trouble and I didn't know. So being an idiot, I was getting over dramatic a lot. Like...a lot, a lot and he was getting tired of it. Then when I sent him a long message (when MySpace was still the best place) and he replied back explaining everything. I felt bad. I also felt bad because I wasn't there to help him deal with the pain. I really wanted to be there for him, believe me I did. Then I called him for the first time in like a year and we just talked for as long as possible. After stupid, pointless fights and misunderstandings, he always ends up talking to me again. Why, I don't know. Then last year when football season came into play, we were hanging out and I asked him back. I remember him saying "Since it's the beginning of the year...I don't really know." and he was all nice about it, glad I told him how I felt about him. Then about Spring time, he apologized because he realized how much he really hurt me. Believe me, I was touched that he apologized for that...and I was shocked outta my socks. Then when Summer came, we talked here and there. Had fights here and there...and such. Now I'm in 10th grade and he's in 11th grade. We've been friends for about 4 years now and that's the longest I've ever kept a friend. Just last weekend, my boyfriend broke up with me and I was torn to bits. A day after the breakup, I texted my old buddy saying how I needed to talk to someone, and he asked what was wrong. He was there for me when I thought he wouldn't. I told him and he understood and said he was sorry that happened. He was being totally understanding and comforting in the weirdest ways. We've been talking the most we ever had for three years and just today, he took a walk with me. After four years...I still love him. Now, I know what you all are thinking "You're only in 10th grade -- you don't know what love is yet." and to be honest, this isn't the brotherly love or the best-friend love...this is the love, love. As in I want to be with him for as long as possible, I really wish we were dating. I still need to re-ask him to homecoming cause when I asked him, he had just fallen asleep while texting me. We somehow moved away from the subject, hence th reason why I'm going to re-ask him. He says he doesn't know his plans for homecoming yet, but I really want to go with him. I really...really like him. And that crush from 6th grade has never gone away. I'm sure he still only sees me as his "Buddy" or his sister or just a best friend...but...I don't know what to do. The last thing I want to do is have another fight because you never know if it's going to be your last fight or not. Whenever I get into deep conversation like that, he complains. And I understand, but how else am I supposed to express what I really feel to him? Another thing ((I know, I keep adding onto this but every word I say is true in here...)), my mom doesn't care too much for him. She knew about how he's hurt me and we keep getting into stupid fights. So if him and I do date, then all hell would break loose and my mother wouldn't want it to happen. I'm really conflicted on what to do. Can someone help me or at least try and help me figure some things out...? |
Oh jeez, that reminds me and this other guy. Nevermind that. Lets see, the only advice I can give you is to just truly get him to sit down, and seriously tell him about your feelings. Make sure he doesn't fall asleep again XDD. If he feels the same way, it happens, if it doesn't, there's nothing you can do. But don't use up anymore time than you already did, go ask him out.
|
Thanks, iinslanely. :) But the problem is that I'm unable to count how many times I've told him. These past few days, we've been getting closer than we have for a LONG time. Maybe I should wait out a few more days, sees what happens. And if we seems to grow apart once more, then I'll talk to him about it all.
I just...I really don't want to loose him as a friend again. :( I've lost too many friends this month than I ever have in a year. Besides, I can imagine that if he told me he would be all like "Well, didn't your bf just break up with you? Weren't you hurt?" But I'm still having trouble on whether I should ask him to homecoming again or not. :( It is like...a month away I guess. -sigh- So scared. |
The time will come when you're ready, but i still think you should tell him. And as a friend i'm sure he'll understand the pain you're going through, so don't be afraid as a friend to speak your feelings to him.
|
You're right. I mean, I should be able to, like, tell him anything! He's my friend and he's there for me! :D But last night I talked to him about how I can get so flipping over-dramatic (literally) whenever I open my mouth and speak my feelings. He told me this:
Quote:
Basically, this guy's saying that he likes that I seem more normal lately. So, I'm going to have to find a very less over-dramatic way to tell him "Hey, I still have a crush on you." Even though I remember telling him last Spring or Fall (I can't remember) "Oh, hey, don't worry 'bout me. I'm over you! -lies-" -.-* |
I don't know if you understand completely what he's saying. Sure, that's one way to look at it, and though he's simpler than your ex boyfriend, I'll never know his complete meaning because there are so many ways you can interpret what he's said. I think that though he doesn't want things to get too complicated (because it sounds like he's a simple person, and its not a bad thing either), he doesn't want you to be unhappy. He'd rather get things out of the way than you bottle it up, but then he says, if you don't want to be over dramatic, you need to bottle it up. If you get what I mean. He doesn't want you to bottle it up, but if you don't want to be over dramatic, bottling it up is one way not to be..
I don't quite know if this is a good thing, it may make it easier for you to tell him, it may not, but it does sound like he knows or has a feeling you still like him. I don't quite know how I can support this, but I think it'd even make things easier for him, if you just told him. Even if in the end, he doesn't like you, it probably will clear a lot up, because I think he wants to help with what's bothering you and all, but maybe isn't sure about what it is, which is why he says it's good you're not over dramatic. I hope you understood something from this. |
Lols. To be honest, it's really hard to explain how I took and what I thought when he told me that. But what was great was that in my head, I wanted to say "But, friends are supposed to be open -- express themselves to their friends...not bottle it up inside..." and such. But I kept my mouth shut and he was glad it helped out.
I think that maybe I need to find...some type of way to express the things I bottle up...so it doesn't come out all over dramatic, you know? But it'll be hard. My problem right now is that, I sure as hell am willing to tell him how I feel about him...even if it's just a reminder. But I don't want him to get upset because he knows because I told him like twice a year since I've known him. This is basically him and I's first week into being such best buddy's...more than we have been...for a while. Another problem is I ALWAYS worry about these things. Some turn out how I worried they would turn out, some turn out the opposite. I never know. And so I think when we get into deep conversation, I'll tell him. >.> I don't want it to be random when I do. :sweat: |
Maybe instead of telling him, hint it instead. If he takes it in the right way, or asks, you can tell him. XD
I don't know what you should do, just giving suggestions. |
And I really appreciate it. I'll attempt with hints. Maybe I need to really flirt with him ;) Lols. But until then, I still won't know what to do.
|
Flirting is a nice idea, but he might take it as a friend as well. Let me know what happens, I'd love to help out ^^
|
Alright. Thank you. :) That means a lot.
|
did u try asking how he felt about u thts how i hooked up with my friend who i rlly liked i said how do honestly feel about me and he said he liked me and we went out try it it might work good luck *hugs*
|
Nothing good came out of this. X( I'm just waiting for something good to happen, I guess. <:P
|
| All times are GMT. The time now is 05:30 AM. |