but I'm open to hearing advice and opinions. This is kind of a long story, so bear with me:

So, I've been with the same guy for 7 years now and our relationship is good, but not great. Real quick, some of the problems are:
-He's had trouble keeping jobs for the last 5 years so we're always broke.
-We both have some self-esteem issues.
-It bothers him that my dad doesn't like him much; they don't fight or anything, but he's had girlfriends in the past whose fathers really liked him so he knows it's not impossible, it just is with my dad.
-B/c of the issue with my dad, he doesn't really want to marry into a family that won't accept him for who he is. Not that marriage is something I'm sure I even want.

I still never questioned whether or not I was with the right person. Not until about a year ago when I met the first person in those 7 years who really got my attention. It didn't happen right away. His company worked for my company, that's how I met him. I won't get into all the details, but at first, I was sure he was into me (this was before I realized I felt something for him, too). I made sure to mention having a boyfriend even though I liked the fact that he liked me. It wasn't long after that when I realized I liked him as more than just a friend (he had helped me out a few times, so I did consider him to be somewhat of a friend, though I'm not sure if he shared the sentiment).

He recently moved away to another state, so I thought I'd get over him after not seeing him for a while, but so far, no luck. My feelings have gotten stronger, but I don't understand how I can feel such a connection with someone I know so little about.

To add to the complications, I heard he's either married or divorced. Everything I've heard about him has been something one of his former coworkers has said (who never seemed to like him much, so what he says may not be credible). Regardless, he may or may not be married and he may or may not have kids. I also have no way of getting in touch with him.

I know I should just continue to try to get over him, but I can't help but feel like I let someone really important walk out of my life. Even if he and I were never more than friends, I'd take that. He was always a good friend to me. I just don't want to feel the void he left...I don't really believe in the whole soulmate thing, but again, a part of me keeps shouting "That was him!! He was here and you let him get away."

Well, I really could go on and on about this, but I think I've said enough for now. Maybe more later. Just getting to type it all out made me feel a teensy bit better.

I miss him...

Okay. I'm slighty confused. Are you talking about one guy here? It's sounds like you're talking about two different people . . .

I am talking about two different people: my current bf and another guy I met through work that I kinda fell for.

Ah, okay. So you've been with a guy (Guy A) for seven years, I assume you've known him for a tad bit longer, and within the past year, you met another guy (Guy B), who may or may not be married and have kids, and you've fallen in love with him while still dating "Guy A"? Question: Does your boyfriend know about this other "Guy B" and your feelings for "Guy B"?

Too, your boyfriends issue with your family not liking him shouldn't matter. If the both of you like each other enough that you might want to get married, your boyfriend will have to deal with it and your father will just have to except the fact that you've choisen to have that man in your life for the rest of your life. Your boyfriend shouldn't care, even with the self-esteem issue, what people think. So long as he is a good guy and your father recognizes that fact, it should be fine. Even if your father doesn't like him as a person on a general basis, the recognition of him being a good and decent guy is what should matter the most in the end.

My bf knows I felt something for another guy, but he never knew him, he knows he moved, and he doesn't know I stillfeel something for that guy.

I've only known guy B for a little over a year. I wouldn't say I'm in love with him exactly; I don't know him well enough. I do have strong feelings for him which developed over all the times he and I talked at work.

The problem with my family not liking my man is that it makes the holidays just plain suck. If I had my choice, I would never celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas, or Easter ever again. I just hate holidays and family occassions b/c they are never fun, just stressful.

I guess I could cope with all this better if I didn't feel like destiny was poking me with a stick.

Guy B also very much resembles someone I dreampt about when I was 12 and someone I dreampt about 5 or 6 years ago. Not that that necessarily means anything, but it leaves me feeling strange if nothing else. This whole situation sort of reminds me of a dream I had.

Sometimes we want what we can not have and when you finally have it it's not as great as you think it is. I had the biggest crush on a guy friend of mine a few years back. He was in a pretty well known band so I kind of watched from afar and just met him after shows when he was in town and talked to him over Myspace. As time went on, I realized that the only reason that I had a romantic interest in him is because I really did not know him where as I knew my exhusband really well and my friend I did not know that way. Now I really wonder what I was thinking crushing on my friend. I mean he's a sweet guy but not really my type.

Also, on the dreams thing, I had dreams about my ex husband before I met him. Everything including his name starting with a "An". I always found it weird to say the least.

Originally Posted by Mystic

Sometimes we want what we can not have and when you finally have it it's not as great as you think it is. I had the biggest crush on a guy friend of mine a few years back. He was in a pretty well known band so I kind of watched from afar and just met him after shows when he was in town and talked to him over Myspace. As time went on, I realized that the only reason that I had a romantic interest in him is because I really did not know him where as I knew my exhusband really well and my friend I did not know that way. Now I really wonder what I was thinking crushing on my friend. I mean he's a sweet guy but not really my type.

Also, on the dreams thing, I had dreams about my ex husband before I met him. Everything including his name starting with a "An". I always found it weird to say the least.

I think that's very valid advice. Thank you.