Coming out...
 

Hey, mene.

So... I've known I was gay for quite a while. Before that, I identified as bisexual, but eventually I realized that I was gay.

Lately, I've realized it's about time to come out of the closet. I don't know particularly why I know, but I just feel like I'm ready. I'm planning to do so to my mom as soon as possible. (As soon as I get her alone and when she hasn't got a ton of other things on her mind.)

The only thing is... how do I even bring it up?

I mean, I know she'll be fine with it. I really do, just from her whole attitude towards this kind of thing. But I honestly just don't know how to even begin to bring it up.

Can you guys... give me some advice? (Also note, I'm a guy, if that makes any sort of difference at all xD)

Just come out with it. "Hey Mom, I got something to tell you. I'm gay." It's easier to just say it, instead of trying to think of ways to bring it up. Hell, that's what I did with my parents. My dad just said "Well I already knew that." and my mom said "Okay whatever."

I agree with Pweep, from what you say your mom seems like she'll be cool with it. Just grab some coffee or lunch with her or sit her down at home and let her know. You'll feel so much more relieved once you do. ;-D Good Luck!

I really don't see the point in announcing sexuality personally. To me it's kind of like coming out and saying "I like women!" if you're straight and the idea always just seemed silly to me. I've just always had this philosophy that if I love someone, I love them and I don't really care what others think. I never formally announced that I date women, I just dated who I wanted to. I think my mom "found out" when I brought home this girl that I used to work with. We pretty much spent every waking moment together. If you feel like you need to tell your mom, I would just tell her when she's not busy with anything else where she is willing to listen.

I kindof agree with Mystic. I'm...Not really sure what my sexuality is, to be honest.
But, I have no desire to just tell my family. I don't think they'd care, and if they did. Well, I'm not sure why.
:sweat:

Well... if they already know you're bi... then just stop dating girls and they might get the hint? I mean unless they're trying to hook you up with girls on a regular basis...

Sometimes it's much nicer to talk to your parents. I don't know about Mystic and the others who have agreed with her, but sometimes if you have something that you feel the need to share for one reason or another (maybe the fear of being rejected kind of thing?) it feels so much better to just put it out in the open. And hinting is a lot more discreet, which some people don't particularly like, I've learnt through my experience. But whether you tell her or not, it's your choice. Good luck :)
As for how to come up with it, if you want to be more gradual/casual, you could explain that you hadn't really known till now, but you know you are gay, and basically, hope she's okay with it.

There's probably a good chance she already knows or suspects. I have a cousin who finally decided he's gay (he said he was straight for a while, then he was bi, then he finally just said he was gay). To be honest, most of the family suspected he was gay since he was, like, 4 years old. It's nice he's finally being honest with himself and he's getting married to his boyfriend next year.

As someone who has come out to his parents as gay, I honestly do think it can be great to come out to them. That said, it also only helps if they are accepting. My "father" left, but my mom is here and is a great anchor. Is it as easy as saying, "Hey, Im gay." HELL NO.

That moment before my mom was told, I felt as if I was about ready to have a stroke and die, but, it worked out. I think its that it gets worked up SO much, and you are so afraid to get hurt you avoid it.

Depending how your parents are, they may already know.
Still, in that case (as my mom had her suspicions) she was still in shock.
I told her five months ago and she still is not use to it, it probably takes a long time.

You also need to be patient with your parents, you and I have had our lives to work at this and figure it out. Even if they suspect, they sometimes blame their selves.

Regardless, I think you can do it. And from the way you talk (type) I think you are ready to come out to at least your family. Or just your parents. Try not to get defensive and aggressive if you do not get your desired reaction, GOOD LUCK.

I am ABSOLUTELY and WHOLEHEARTEDLY rooting for you!
My support is open to you at ALL times.
Lots of love,

Smores.

----------

Incompetent me -_-
I read the first half of your paragraph and went "OMG I gotta type something FAST!"
Not realizing you posted the answer to most of the things I made variables for -_- Sometimes...

Well --- Not to lie.
I totally wimped out when It came to coming out.
I was having a really hard time, and so, I went towards what I think Im pretty good at. Writing.
I wrote this like... 3 page note to my mom and gave it to er before I left for school.
Bad part? All I was panicking about the reaction.. anyways.

Ive always thought, that like -
Maybe watching a movie where the main actor was gay?
Bring it up like that?
Or be like... "I love Zac Efron.. and Ian Somerhalder."
I dunno - I kinda took the easy way out.

But if your hell bent on doing it in person, then I guess that's what you have to do.
Maybe just wait for your mom to be reading alone on the couch or watching a TV she has little interest in (i say mom but mean both parents... sorry xD))
And then just say something to break the ice.
Once you get the snowball rolling, you don't want to stop.
When my mom confronted me she dragged it out - but after I started talking about it it felt AMAZING to lift such a weight everything came out in blurbs.

I'm sorry I could not been of more help.
Lots of love, again, from Smores!

I'm still a great Support though~ haha ~

And not to sound creepy or anything, I dont know how you feel. But I have always wanted another person who was gay and going through the same thing to talk to. And never got a connection like that. So if you ever want to talk, I have been through a lot, and am more then happy to share any experiences that may benefit you in any way.

My heart is with you ^.^
I hope things work really well in your favor. <3

Well my mum guessed. I was having a bad day, and she just goes... "Are you gay?" I kind of just went O.o and said "... I think so..." I'm still confused, but that's my story. I think I agree with whoever up ^ there, said to just stop dating girls and see what happens. But then again, that may be too broad a hint... Buy a rainbow flag? No, too, uhm.. I'm not sure, it just seems off somehow. This is completely useless isn't it? I'm really bad at real advice, I usually end up taking the piss... Well, however you do it, parents usually want to know. Good Luck!

I notice a lot of the people above me have some great advice and stories.
As for 'my' story.. I identify myself as bisexual, mind you, but when I had a girlfriend and had to bring it up to my mother I was crapping my pants just thinking about it.

Honestly, I just asked her if I could talk to her in private for a bit. She agreed and so we sat down at my bed (my safe place, lol). I explained to her that I would understand it if she'd be mad at me or would be sad after what I was going to say, and she immediately thought I was pregnant (I was thirteen, wtf) so I just kind of went 'Well, uh, no, I got a girlfriend'.

I cried and she just went 'Oh, uh, okay, good luck with that'.
She's been supportive and didn't treat me differently or whatever. It gave me a good feeling because it gave me some free air to breathe in without having that burden on my heart. 8D

Let us hear what you plan on doing, love. (: I just know you'll feel better when you talk about it.

Good luck with the coming out to your family. I hope they're as understanding as our fellow Menewshans.