I decided to share this problem here, since no one in my family would ever understand me and I know that they would think that I'm stupid and stuff like that...

Well, I'm currently studying for college now, and unfortunately I'm not enjoying it, simply because the course is not in my interest...I mean how would I enjoy something I do not understand? I hate everything about it! But what can I do? if I tell this to my Mother, she would be very disappointed since she's the one who picked this course for me, and if I tell her that I want to quit she would go and beat me and say horrible stuff about me, and she'd tell me that I'm worthless and other crap...What's worse is that there is nothing I can do about that, I can't say or do anything about her...

If I tell my other relatives about this, they wouldn't take me seriously, they would say that I'm just plain stupid and lazy...and that I wouldn't be able to reach anything in my life other than being a lazy moron...

I always feel inferior around these people I call family, and I can never complain because they would be telling me all the things that they have done for me...I feel as though I'm completely worthless because everytime I try to stand up on my own they are there to pull me down!

That is very cruel of your parents to force you into something you neither enjoy nor understand. Every university offers a wide variety of majors, and you should pursue what fits your personalty, then shove your degree (and deans list, and honors medals) in your family's face.

Also what your mother is doing is verbal abuse. You may think abuse is too harsh of a word. I did too when I was in high school, it was a little bit of stockholm syndrome... I lived with my stepmother and she provided for me to a degree... so she couldn't be all wrong, could she? Yes, she could. In retrospect, I don't know how I dealt with it as passively as I did.

Alas, I digress. Purse what you enjoy, and you will suceed, and that will prove them all wrong. In the meanwhile, try not to let their verbal and emotional abuse bring you down.

It is very brave of you to step up and voice your thoughts here.

Originally Posted by The_Crow

That is very cruel of your parents to force you into something you neither enjoy nor understand. Every university offers a wide variety of majors, and you should pursue what fits your personalty, then shove your degree (and deans list, and honors medals) in your family's face.

Also what your mother is doing is verbal abuse. You may think abuse is too harsh of a word. I did too when I was in high school, it was a little bit of stockholm syndrome... I lived with my stepmother and she provided for me to a degree... so she couldn't be all wrong, could she? Yes, she could. In retrospect, I don't know how I dealt with it as passively as I did.

Alas, I digress. Purse what you enjoy, and you will suceed, and that will prove them all wrong. In the meanwhile, try not to let their verbal and emotional abuse bring you down.

It is very brave of you to step up and voice your thoughts here.

Thank you very much for that advice...and for hearing me out...it is in times like these that I really like to hear what other people would say about this burden that I have...Yes, I shall not let what ever they say to me get in my head too much...they don't know me as much as I know my self...

I had the same problem. Everyone in my family thinks that I should be a vet because I like animals. I honestly would rather own my own business again and work out of a retail environment. I have a degree in veterinary medicine that I am never going to use. I also learned more things outside of the class room, doing things first hand than I ever did studying a book. I do not suggest that people skip college because unless you have a degree work is hard to come by but I'm one of those people that can not learn things unless I do it.

I would just do what you want to do. Don't let people bring you down. You have to make yourself happy before you worry about anyone else.

You should be studying what YOU want to study/become a professional in. Not what your mother chooses. You should let her know you're not happy with the current courses. You don't want to be miserable in a career that is not of your choosing.

I just want to put this out there: many people will tell you that you need a college education to be successful/get a good job, but that's not always true. There are plenty of other ways to earn your living. I say this b/c college didn't work for me and I managed to find a decent job (while my friends with degrees are looking for jobs to pay off their student loans). I think my parents still think less of me b/c I don't have a degree, but they also don't seem to see how the bachelor's degree my sister got has yet to get her better jobs or earn her more money than me.

Basically, there are a million different paths you can take, so don't overlook one just b/c it's less travelled or not the one everyone thinks you should take. Only you know what's best for you.

Thank you very much guys, I knew sharing this problem would be a weight off my shoulders....I value all your advice, because like I said, no one would ever listen to me, and yet you people are here giving me things that are worth thinking of...thank you very much!

I know that it has been said, but you gotta do what you want because if you do anything other than that how can you expect to be happy with yourself later on in life? If you go through getting the degree your mom picked out, you could be stuck in that field, and from the sounds of that, you wouldn't like that at all. Your mother needs to step back; you're in college; you're an adult and you can make your own future choices. It is your life to live, not hers; she had her chance to do what she wanted in her life and now she is trying to take that away from you. There could be a chance that she thinks she is helping you, but in order to do that she needs to let you do what you want with your life. If things get too abusive with her, you have to talk to an authority figure about it.

You have to not care what your family will have to say about it, they'll either accept whatever it is you want to do, or just not care. Worry about you, not them. I know my dad always pushed me, and just me even though I'm the oldest of 4. When I graduated and had applied for my college classes, he finally backed down and said that he would support me in whatever I chose to do with my life. I told him I wanted to be a Graphic Designer; needless to say he flipped out. He started ranting on saying how I was smart, I could be a lawyer or a doctor and that I was wasting my intelligence and shortcoming myself. He seems to think that GD is a dieing field and that it's art so it's easy. The way I look at it, is what he does is easy and he develops motors for the new electric cars. With what he does there's right and wrong, in what I do, there are many options.

What I'm trying to say, is that even to this day, 3 years after he found out, he's still not happy with my choice. I get excited and tell him what I'm doing or show him my work and he could really careless. I don't care though, because I'm doing what I want and it makes me happy. My father is also the abusive type and if he ever tries anything I won't hesitate to bring authorties in to clear it all up.

Quit the class, don't tell your mother.
IMO, it's not their business what courses I take or don't take in college.

That said, the money paying for college, it's MY money, because my parents are dead and this is my inheritance. And I don't feel anyone else in my family has the right to tell me what to do with the money my mom and dad gave ME for college/whatever I feel like. @[email protected]

Originally Posted by miss_SMG

I know that it has been said, but you gotta do what you want because if you do anything other than that how can you expect to be happy with yourself later on in life? If you go through getting the degree your mom picked out, you could be stuck in that field, and from the sounds of that, you wouldn't like that at all. Your mother needs to step back; you're in college; you're an adult and you can make your own future choices. It is your life to live, not hers; she had her chance to do what she wanted in her life and now she is trying to take that away from you. There could be a chance that she thinks she is helping you, but in order to do that she needs to let you do what you want with your life. If things get too abusive with her, you have to talk to an authority figure about it.

You have to not care what your family will have to say about it, they'll either accept whatever it is you want to do, or just not care. Worry about you, not them. I know my dad always pushed me, and just me even though I'm the oldest of 4. When I graduated and had applied for my college classes, he finally backed down and said that he would support me in whatever I chose to do with my life. I told him I wanted to be a Graphic Designer; needless to say he flipped out. He started ranting on saying how I was smart, I could be a lawyer or a doctor and that I was wasting my intelligence and shortcoming myself. He seems to think that GD is a dieing field and that it's art so it's easy. The way I look at it, is what he does is easy and he develops motors for the new electric cars. With what he does there's right and wrong, in what I do, there are many options.

What I'm trying to say, is that even to this day, 3 years after he found out, he's still not happy with my choice. I get excited and tell him what I'm doing or show him my work and he could really careless. I don't care though, because I'm doing what I want and it makes me happy. My father is also the abusive type and if he ever tries anything I won't hesitate to bring authorties in to clear it all up.

I admire how you were able to stand up for yourself and be able to choose the course that you really like...My dream was to actually become a Flight Steward, but my Mom forces me to become one fancy ass diplomat....I don't even want to be one...she said that the course that she chose for me was the easiest and even the stupid ones can pass the damn course...and she is never pleased with my grades when infact those grades are fair...it is not like I barely passed nor failed the damn subjects....She goes on saying that those grades will get me no where and it would never get me a good job!.....she keeps on comparing me with the people in the school who gets better grades than me....and tells me that I am not doing any effort to be like those "better" students....I am so sick of having to put up with the damn expectations, I already know I am not the brightest cray in the box...so I don't see the point why they have to rub it in my face!

Thanks to your advice I was somehow enlightened.

I guess its kind of similar to my family pushing me in the wrong direction. Actually, everyone does. Everyone in my family wants me to be a chef of some sort, because I'm a really good cook. But I have my dreams, and I want to be an underwater archeologist. Its my life long dream, and the one thing that really truly makes me happy. But for years, they've been trying to force me to take cooking classes, and cook meals, and excel in every way with my cooking, when honestly I don't even enjoy it very much. It can be fun, but its not something I'd ever want to do for a living. I guess my personal advice is to try and explain as calmly as possible to your family that you get to do what you want with your life. And if they still shun all that you want with yourself, then there isn't much you can do about it but go and do what you want to with your life anyways.
I wish you the best of luck :)

It's better to let people know how you feel rather than do what you think they want you to do. She might be mad at you but at least you wont be wasting money on something you don't even want to study. But trust me dropping out all together is very difficult. Not in the sense of dropping all of that responsibility but getting back on your feet when you do decide what you want to do. It's overall easier to just try out different things until you find something you like rather than sitting out and let it skip your mind.

Hey so, here's what's up. You are unhappy with your family's expectations on you, right? As well as how they treat you day to day about what kind of person you are. I don't know a whole lot about the situation, but you've said enough that it can be understood to an extent. By an extent, I mean this.

You are an adult. You are going to college, and yes, they are your family, but you are you. In the end, you will want to be proud of what you've done, and not want to have regrets of, "Oh, I wish I had spent my time with this instead," or, "I wish I hadn't been so timid as to not have gone after my dreams." I get very shy sometimes. I also feel very... what's the word? Low, I guess. That is sometimes as well. My family acts very similar. But something that I do have is belief in my dreams. They are something that you just have to stick to. Do not ignore kindness to others, however, sometimes you need to be rigid but tactful. Does that make sense? Sometimes you just need to stand your ground. Not always. It's good to be flexible. But when it comes to whether or not you will be happy with your life decisions..? I'd say it's something to consider more important. No matter how you handle this in the end, I wish you the best of luck. :D Go find that dream life of yours x33

Edit: I just thought it important to say this last thing.
The best payback is doing good things - something you would benefit from. That is as in, doing great things with your life to show that their negative words don't matter. Or that they have inspired you to do great things. Whether or not they know about them, you can benefit and be happier.

In my religion class at school, one of my classmates asked the teacher if he liked teaching & if he was happy as a teacher. He said that if I had a job that only gave him money, he wouldn't have happiness. He said that if someone were to have a job that they didn't like, but just did it for the money, they would wake up feeling unhappy with regret. The unit we were learning in religion is Individualism. I think that could help you a bit... I don't think that it's your parents choice to tell you what to do with your life... but their ideas should also be respected since they want the best for you (makin' money?).. I guess.. but sometimes you don't want the same as what your parents want... You could have a compromise... You could also let the know how you feel and maybe you'll do better, and feel happier doing something you're passionate about.. I hope my advice helps o///o

Your in a rough situation there Lexus. Have you tried to talk to your mother about the things before you got in the college?
I cant blame you for having a feeling like that. Maybe if I were going to be forced on something like that, maybe i'll feel the same. There was those time where in, my father really really wanted me to go to law school right after I graduate college He was so happy looking forward to see me in law school. However, at those moment I really don't feel going in. For almost 7 long days I really did cry because I was so afraid of their expectations towards me and even afraid for more expectations when I enrolled in law school. For that seven days, I had a sleepless night. Like when I woke up, my eyes are all red from crying because I was afraid and I wasn't sure of getting that course that my father really wants me to. At my eight days?! I couldn't handle all the negative emotions and I did talk to my father, and make him understand that I really don't want to go. He was so frustrated but, what the heck this is something I really want, not to pursue law and look for a job instead to earn my own money.

I think you need to try to talk to your mother sincerely and make her understand those things that really makes you happy. There might be a possibility that she will understand you.