Hey. I was wondering if anyone else has ever been cheated on, and what they did when it happened. It's happened to me twice now, and I can't seem to let go of it. Whenever my current girlfriend hangs out with one of her male friends (even the gay ones) I for some reason get a knot in my stomach. I know she'd never cheat on me, but I can't seem to stop with the worrying. Probably because the last one who cheated did, it just as I started to really trust her. So that still hurts a bit.

I've never cheated, or been cheated on. But my girlfriend has. When we first got into a relationship, the jealousy was a little overwhelming. She was afraid I was going to leave her for someone else, and I understand how she felt. It took some time, but we're much better now and she trusts me. Even after more than two years together, it's still in the back of her mind, though. I don't think it ever really goes away, especially since we're in a long distance relationship. Either one of us could cheat, and the other wouldn't know. Not that I would, of course.

I think the worst I've done was leave someone, for someone else. I still feel bad about it, but what else could I do? I wasn't happy with the person, and we'd only been together for a month, maybe two. I haven't talked to the person for almost two years, but the last I heard, she was back together with her ex and they were getting married.

I don't think it ever really goes away, the thought in the back of your head. But you have to trust her sometime. If you're /really/ worried about it, look for the signs. Just don't be a crazy stalker of her, of course :lol: Talk to her, see how happy she is with your relationship. If there's anything she doesn't like.

I've been on both sides. I've been the cheater and the cheated.

Sometimes I am afraid my partner is cheating on me...but I try to learn to get over it. If I don't trust them, how can they trust me?
And I believe that the best relationships have a foundation in trust. So I try to talk it out with my partner, especially if some of the things they are doing are making me wonder or worry.

See she's not done anything wrong, or that should make me worry, and she's totally accepting of who I am, and how I act. She's amazing actually. To be honest it might be because the last time I felt this stable with someone, they threw me over for someone else, who then broke their heart.

I've never been cheated on (to my knowledge), or have ever cheated, but normally at the beginning of my relationships I talk to the person I'm dating about the certain boundaries I have. One of them is that I never 'forgive' a cheater and I never cheat. If I feel the need to cheat in a relationship, then I'll do the mature thing and get out of it.

A few of my past ex's brought up the issue of cheating to me whenever I'd hang out with a group of people (especially if it had guys) and personally, I'd feel a bit offended. My trust in my relationship would diminish because I felt that the person I 'loved' didn't trust me to make the right choices. It's honestly better to withhold your suspicions. If she cares about you then she'll respect you enough to not cheat, or come clean if she does. Just trust her. Yeah it hurts when a person betrays your trust, but it hurts worse to feel that your partner doesn't think you're one to be trusted.

Originally Posted by Deviant

I've never been cheated on (to my knowledge), or have ever cheated, but normally at the beginning of my relationships I talk to the person I'm dating about the certain boundaries I have. One of them is that I never 'forgive' a cheater and I never cheat.

I'm the same way. I have very few hard and fast rules about relationships that I've stuck to through the years, but that is certainly one of them.

I'm with the above responders. Talk it out, see where it goes. Ask for patience as you learn to trust your new partner. I would certainly be understanding in a situation like that. :yes:

I'm actually dealing with this issue right now. I found out yesterday that my girlfriend is cheating on me. Granted the cheating is with a guy over the internet, it still creates a trust issue. I have no idea how long it has been going on but I found out from other people rather than her. This is all despite her telling me she would never cheat on me. We're currently in the middle of working things out.

Like Keyori said though, talk it out. Being willing to work things out is necessary. Trust your partner and also show how much she means to you. I think if she knows why you're so wary that she'll be more understanding.

I have told her of my issues, and she seems to understand. I just wish I could get over what happened more easily. I'm tired of not being able to fully trust someone who fully deserves it. She even went to the dentist with me on more than one occasion. She sat there, and kept me calm, and all. ...I miss her at the moment, I won't be able to see her until late tonight.

You need to have trust in a relationship for it to work. No reason to not have trust if there has never been a reason to actually lose it, other then simple fear. =)

I've been cheated on numerous times, becuase I'm always the 'cool' girlfriend that let's her guy do what he wants and never questions it until it's too late.

But I know how much it hurts, and I know how much mistrust it can cause in future relationships. It's somethign that's really hard to 'just get over' or to 'just trust someone' even though you really want to trust people.
you become paranoid, and you just feel sick every time you think about it. It's distressing, so I understand.
I don't fully know what to do about it, I wish I did, becuase thing things would be a lot easier for the both of us at the moment.

Just stay strong, and do your best.

Thank you. And I'm glad to see that there are others who know what I mean, by this. I'm sorry you guys had to go through it though. It sucks, and I'm sorry.

I have been cheated on many times, I know the pain and the sickening feelsing you get when you think you are being cheated on but dont know for sure.
my current boyfriend cheated on me a month ago and it still is in my mind and hurts, but we are slowly working it out and regaining trust, how ever it is hard. I find talking it out with a close friend helps alot for the paranoia, and I think if you ever have that gut feeling that you /think/ you are being cheated on, talk it over see if you are right, then deside what to do about it. it is hard and sometimes ends bad but sometimes the worse things (like cheating and over things) can turn that person into someone better. :) goodluck with your girlfriend! you have my subport :)

Thank you. I'm hoping you and your boyfriend have a better time of it now. I hope you can both trust each other, and that it is not misplaced.

the oonly time i have been cheated on was in college. though i have to say it was a doozy

my friend and roommate introduced me to this guy and we started dating. we'd been dating almost a year and things seemed to be going fine. then one day my friend asks me to leave the room so she can talk on the phone. she'd always felt comfortable talking to her family in front of me before and plus she had beebn acting weird around me so i lefft but i listened at the door where i heard her telling her mom how in love weith my boyfriend she was and how she'd actualyl slept with him on my bed earlier that month when i was in florida on tour with my choir. i confronted my boyfriend and we broke up and they started dating.

it pissed me off and broke my heart but honestly she saved me a whole lot more heartache beacause he turned out to treat her like crap and they got engaged but she couldnt take it anymopre and they broke up. maybe it would have beebn different for himn and i but i don't think i really want to know if it would have been. he was a jerk and my roommate was a sluht

i'd like to say i dont still hold resentments and for the most part i don't i'm still friends with my roommate. i think what bothers me most was that she was discussing this with her family behind my backj instead of confronting me with it....

I'm so sorry. I really don't understand why it's almost always someone you trust that they cheat with. If it's a stranger it might hurt less.

I was cheated on for the first time last year, and honestly, it's shit when it happens, arguably the worst feeling of betrayel there is.
But when/if it happens, I'm here to tell you that it is entirely possible to completely forgive a person for it and put it into the past. Of course you might be a little more paranoid about your partner hanging around with other people, but that's just because they went against your trust, and that doesn't mean they can't earn it back.

Speaking from personal experience, I can tell you during the time this happened, my ex was being completely retarded. He did a bunch of stupid things all at once, but I can honestly tell you that he did regret it. He got a lot out of the relationship in the sense that he grew up, and I genuinely believe he'll never be the cheater again.

I know you might be thinking "WELL HE'S YOUR EX, SO OBVIOUSLY YOU TWO DIDN'T WORK OUT SO YOU MUST BE FULL OF SHIT", but the fact that he cheated is not why we didn't work out. He had an issue with being dishonest, about stupid, harmless things that just made me question everything. And even aside from that, more importantly, things just changed. The way I felt changed, I still wanted to be around him, just not romantically. And we still talk all the time, we're really close, great friends.

So even though things didn't turn out exactly how we thought they would, I still think he and I did well, and we're on good terms, it wasn't a sloppy break up, so we must have done something right.

I have been cheated on nine months after I got married which was ten years ago. Of course I am still married to the creep but I haven't seen or spoke to him..I think he tryed to call me once to get an divorce but I never called back. He was the one that left and cheated on me in the first place so I think he should pay for it not me. I don't have any money and sometimes I wonder if he is dead then I just become an widow and don't have to worry about divorce. Its an good thing I miscarried I didn't want to have no children with that creep *beep beep beep* I can used so much cuse words for him. Plus I never want to be with an guy that does cheat on people. There aren't no good guys anywhere anymore so I'm just better off being single forever.

Cheating sucks i've been cheated onmany times i'm going through the same thing with my boyfriend. i had a hard time trusting him around girls. he understands and everytime we get in a fight i find i can trust him more and more when he explains things to me i hope it all works out good luck

Oh God. I'm freaking out right now. :( I'm not sure why. I just...

She didn't answer the phone, and when she did, she totally rushed me off. She's house sitting in another part of the city tonight, and I couldn't be there with her, because I have classes to go to, and now I'm freaking out.

I'm crazy right?

no your not crazy. its alrite to be curious and i'm sure the phone call didn't help. do you know if she's house sittingand theres animals? sometimes people do rush others off because something might be distracting them and they need to pay attention to whats going on around them.

i've been cheated on and i feel the same way as you some days. I try my best not to cause the person im with tries so hard for me not to feel that way he has cheated on me once and that really doesn't help but i love him , and he did tell me everything and how it happened so i leave that in the past. I tell my self he wouldn't be with me if he really didnt feel the same as i feel for him. ANd then in the ed if he really doesn't i will try my best and move on and remind my self not all people are the same and i should start my next relation ship off with a new slate not acussing them or worryin myself unless there are signs that someting is definately happening.

I try to just trust her now. She deserves it, and I have no reason not to, so I'm giving it my all. She's always been really wonderful to me. I just have trouble at times. My scars run deep. She's totally understanding though. :)

Personilty I have never been cheated on, or has cheated. But I hang out with a lot of girls. I like to make sure my girlfriends know this before anything does happen. The point of a relasionship is to not control the other. But hey, girls love when they can take me shopping. And my girlfriend does come along. I have also broken up with girls because they try to say I can't hang out with my friends. The thing about friends, they are friends to me. Nothing more in a romantic way. I love them, but I love all of my good friends.

that is just how I see it. If you are worried about your girlfriend messing around with other guys, then you don't trust her. Friends are friends. I also have a very good friend who is very into video games. And the only people she can really talk to about games are guys. She has grown up a girly tom boy. At least that is what she says xD But she has been dumped by guys simply because she will hang out with her friends.

One thing I hate, is when cheated on couples get back together. Once a cheater, always a cheater.. But again, I don't know the feeling, so I can't really say myself. I guess it also depends on how old you are too. If you are 13, and being cheated on. Never let it get to you. Dumb kids, you know? But if you are older, and have been in a relasionship for a few months to years, then I can see where you are coming from. In middle school, one of my friends was cheated on. She never let it got to her. Instead she sat back and watched the bastard get upset when the girl made out with another guy in front of him xD Pay back is a bitch.

Trust me when I say, if you've never been cheated on, you have no clue what it feels like. The thing about friends being just friends is that, that's not always the case. Most good relationships start off as friendships. You already know each other, and know how to make each other happy. That's a good thing, trust me.

I would never ever say that she couldn't hang out with her friends. I know most of them, and she wouldn't do anything with them. If someone showed up, who I didn't trust however, I would just tell her how I felt, and we would figure out what to do. I know I can't give her orders, but I also know how it feels to be on both ends of the situation, and I know what it looks like when someone is actively trying to screw up a good relationship.

Originally Posted by sarofset

Thank you. I'm hoping you and your boyfriend have a better time of it now. I hope you can both trust each other, and that it is not misplaced.

thank you :) I hope so too I dont want it to be over just yet.