Me and my first serious boyfriend broke up a few weeks ago. He said he wasn't in love with me anymore. Then a few days ago I found out he slept with another girl while we were still together. You would think that this would give me cause enough to hate him, right? Wrong, I'm still hopelessly in love with him. Every time I see him, my heart jumps into my throat and right back down to my stomach. Then my stomach decides to flip every which way. I hate this. I cry myself to sleep every other night. When he's not around I'm perfectly fine. Is there anyway I can get over him and at least begin the process of becoming friends? Any and all advice is welcome and appreciated.

Wounds take time to heal. You will get over him.
You don't have to be friends with him, in fact, sometimes I'd actually like to say you shouldn't be friends with your ex.

Instead, you should engage in healthy activities, like reading a book, or watching a movie, instead of thinking about him. Also, perhaps hanging out and spending more time with friends, to fill that hole in your time and in your affections with someone else. =)

Why would you want to be friends with him if he just breaks up like that,
and then you have to find out he slept with another girl.

Don't ask youself to get over it, cause it takes time (I'm in the same prosess right now,
exept for the cheating fact).
Just ask youself: Do you still want to befriend him after he did that to you?
Maybe it's best if you don't see him for a while. I know it's hard, but it's for the best.
At least, thats what I say in experience, whenever im not around my ex, I feel better,
whenever he's around, I feel a little different from good.

I'm not realy with the idea of 'not becoming friends with an exboyfriend', cause I am
friends with one boy I had a relationship for the last 5 years, and he knows me better
than anyone else, in fact, we talk so much... I bet if he ever dies, I killed him with talking xD
Anyways, but cheating? ._. Come on...

Um... don't take offense to this, and please pardon my language.

The fuck would you want to be friends with him for? He cheated on you. He's sleeze.

The only reason you still want to be friends is because he's got you on the hook. Like you said you still love him. It's because he's your first. I still feel for a few of my exes, but I'd never try to be friends with the ones who cheated. They're beneath my attentions.

Also the phrase I'm not in love with you anymore is invalid in my opinion. Love is unending, and indelible. If he loved you in the past, he would love you now. Cut his scummy ass loose, and find someone worth your time. He's a jerk. Don't hold on.

Everyone goes through that horrible break up where they can't get over the person they still love, especially if they've done so much damage to your heart, that it becomes just unreal. But this scenario has been played out a bunch of times, but with different couples. It happens to a good chunk of us - it's just another one of life's obstacle that we have to face and overcome.

It's not going to be easy at first, but trust me when I say that you'll get over him with time. It'll gradually hit you until you realize 'OMG! That guy was a real asshole! And now he's lost the best thing that's ever happened to him!'
Seriously, don't be friends with an ungrateful and inconsiderate asshole. You're MUCH better than that.

Why don't you start a new activity to pass the time? Or keep yourself busy with any old hobby? It'll make this easier for you - if you just lay around and mope, it'll just make you even more depressed.

And hey! There are plenty of BETTER guys out there! Loads of them! You'll be surprised.

You can't be friends with him sweetie he did you wrong. Seems like he didn't care at all. I had a guy like that love is blind. He used you and its very sad. Nobody should go thru that. Its hard to get over someone you love. But,ask yourself this. "Do I love myself more not to be treated like this?" By anyone for that matter.

If the question is whether you can get over him, the answer is yes, of course! But the thing is, it takes time, a lot of it. It's like, everyone here is of the opinion you shouldn't be friends with him (and I'm with them!), but in your head I know you want to, you think you'd feel better if you could still call him your friend.

The thing is, and sorry for repeating what everyone else has said, he cheated on you. No matter how much you want to be his friend, that thought will always follow you in the back of your head. Frankly, I think it may help you let go of him faster, maybe get you angry enough at him to think "that bastard, he cheated!" and completely cut him off. Granted, cutting him off =/= moving on, but it helps.

You say when you're not around him you feel better; I say, avoid him for the time being. If he's not there, there's no chance you'll talk, and your feelings will hopefully disappear in time or at least get burried. Only then will you truly be able to start the process of friendship without the pain it will bring you otherwise (it will, most likely, hurt you if you try to be his friend this soon).

Also, go out with your friends, meet new people, enjoy yourself. Time by yourself is time you'll spend thinking about him, so try to be around people as much as you can. Sing, dance, have sleepovers, watch crappy movies, whatever you want. Get distracted, it will help you more than you think. (:

Everyone keeps warning you it takes time; man, it can take seemingly forever. I held the torch for this person Alex for like 7 years- sent stuff when he was in jail, thought about him all the time etc.... I even let him back in my life for a brief bit and he screwed things over again by sleeping w. my friend's sister! But one day I just decided to throw everything out I had that reminded me of him- the diary I kept from when we met, a lock of hair of his I had, etc.

I still think of him now and then, but it's not painful anymore.